A Few Quarantine Faves
The best podcasts, books, and more.
These past few months have been strange, to say the least. I’m ready to get back to more normalcy. But at the same time, I’m thankful for an opportunity to slow down. I’m thankful for more time to read, bake, take walks, and be with family—even if that means staying in our apartment or within a small radius around it.
I’m thinking through another blog post about this season because, trust me, God is teaching me a lot. He’s refining me and revealing the dirt within my heart. Phew, it’s hard, but it is good.
For now, I’m keeping things a bit lighter and sharing a few of my favorite ways to pass the time. (You know, in all the free time I have with a toddler running around 😄.)
Podcasts
“Office Ladies" - Jenna Fischer (Pam) and Angela Kinsey (Angela) take us through a behind-the-scenes look at each episode of The Office. The two friends are hilarious and insightful, and they’ll have you wanting to binge this classic show all over again.
“Risen Motherhood" - Always my go-to. As the hosts say in the intro, we need the refreshing truth of the gospel poured over us daily. Risen Motherhood helps me focus on Christ and find joy in even the most mundane parts of motherhood.
“The Dropout" - This 6-episode series reports on Elizabeth Holmes, the youngest self-made female billionaire, through her quick rise and subsequent fall as she currently faces up to 20 years in jail.
Books
Open Book - I devoured this book. Jessica Simpson tells all in her newly released memoir. I was intrigued by her personal take on all the things that happened in the public eye, and I commend her for sharing her story of sobriety.
The Alice Network - This fiction book is based on the true story of a female spy network during World War I and II. It took me much longer to read but was definitely worth it.
Afraid of All the Things - I’m currently reading this for a Zoom book club. (Three months ago, I didn’t even know what Zoom was and look where we are today!) Scarlet Hiltibidal is funny and frank. She speaks God’s Word directly into her fears and anxieties—and my own.
Finding I Am - I did Lysa TerKeurst’s Bible study on the book of John after my local women’s study ended. The study centers on the seven “I Am” statements Jesus makes in scripture. Look for a blog post on “I am the vine” coming soon.
Exalting Jesus in Revelation (Christ-Centered Exposition Commentary) - I’ve had this commentary on my bookshelf for about three years, and this month, I finally decided to go through it. So far, I’ve been blown away as I slowly read through Revelation and connect the dots to the Gospel with this remarkable book.
Fitness
Peloton - I’m in the middle of a free trial of the Peloton app, and I’m loving it. I don’t have the Peloton bike or treadmill (and I’m also so not a runner). But I’m really enjoying the yoga videos, especially because I can do a 20- or 30-minute class while my son sleeps.
Desert Streams Yoga - My mother-in-law and sisters-in-law started this Christian yoga school, and their Instagram account is full of inspirational poses and Biblical mediation. Be sure to give them a follow!
Food
Half-Baked Harvest - Teighan’s recipes sometimes have a few more interesting ingredients, but they’re always so fun to make. Her oatmeal chocolate-chip cookies are the best. I can’t wait to make her sheet pan chicken and potatoes and homemade Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Sally’s Baking Addiction - Baking is life right now, and my girl Sally has never let me down. Her vanilla cake and carrot cake are two of my all-time favorites. Her piñata cupcakes are next on my list.
TV
“Some Good News" - Okay, this is technically a web series, but I couldn’t not mention it. John Krasinski’s positive news show is sure to warm your heart. I also just love that his daughters made the adorable SGN sign hanging behind him in every episode.
“The Last Dance" - We are pretty much obsessed with this ESPN limited series on Michael Jordan and the 90s Bulls. As a native Chicagoan, how could I not watch? (Also, my one and only NBA experience was seeing Jordan take on the Utah Jazz at the United Center, circa 1996. And what a great experience it was.)
What have you been up to during this stay-at-home season? I’d love to know. Leave me a comment below.
When You Can't Sleep
At least one of us is sleeping like a baby.
Sleep. Precious, precious sleep.
I can’t remember the last time I had a good night’s sleep or a night of sleep where I didn’t wake up to either a crying baby or a mind running wild. Eight hours of sleep sounds like a dream.
Chances are you’re in the same camp as me. Maybe you have a hard time falling asleep, staying asleep, or quieting your thoughts. Maybe you also have children who wake up throughout the night. Or maybe you live in an apartment complex with paper-thin walls and noisy neighbors. Google “how to get a good night’s sleep,” and you’ll find more than a billion results.
The tips seem relatively simple:
Stick to a sleep schedule.
Avoid naps.
Turn off all screens.
Exercise during the day.
Consider a new mattress or pillow.
Etc.
Etc.
Etc.
I’ve tried these suggestions, but I still fail to get quality sleep. Can you relate?
Recently I heard a sermon from Pastor Matt Chandler in which he discussed his sleep troubles. He said he goes to bed at 9:30 p.m. but sometimes struggles with racing thoughts. Chandler said he imagines himself laying his worries at Jesus’ feet:
“I will just say in my prayers, ‘I’ve got to sleep. You don’t ever sleep. You take this and run with it while I get some rest. I’ll be right back in the morning to do whatever it is You want me to do…’”
Sometimes, Chandler ends up getting out of bed, praying, and reading until 2 in the morning. It happens. But I love his approach, to go straight to the Lord and to ask for sleep. We’re human, and our sleep issues are part of that. God knows this, and He’s always there to provide us with rest—even when physical rest alludes us.
“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
A couple of days after watching this sermon, I listened to a podcast interview with Jennie Allen. Allen is an author and speaker who’s passionate about discipleship. Her new book, Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts, details the 18 months she spent wrestling with anxiety, doubt, and sleeplessness. “Drawing on biblical teaching and neuroscience, she shows how to fight the enemies of the mind with the truth of God,” the book description states.
Allen experienced trouble sleeping and had questions about her faith in the midst of running a successful ministry, teaching the Bible, and speaking about Christ around the country. Yes, even faithful, godly men and women like Chandler and Allen can have sleepless nights.
“Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does. ”
All this got me wondering why? Why do we deal with this? Why can’t we simply get some quality sleep?
The short answer: We’re human. We’re sinners. We live in a broken world.
The long answer: We as Christians are prone to attacks from the enemy, and Satan is a cunning guy. He wants to disable us and render us useless. Leaving us worn out, weary, and exhausted is a pretty easy way to do that, don’t you think? When we’re tired, we’re less focused. We’re not alert or on-guard. We’re run-down and weak.
But we don’t have to be.
We live in a fallen world, except we have the hope of Christ. We have the Savior, the light of the world, who offers us a better way. We have to get up and walk in it. He saves us by faith through grace. We have to trust Him.
I think of the third sign Jesus performs, detailed in John 5:
“After this, a Jewish festival took place, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. By the Sheep Gate in Jerusalem there is a pool, called Bethesda in Aramaic, which has five colonnades. Within these lay a large number of the disabled—blind, lame, and paralyzed.
One man was there who had been disabled for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and realized he had already been there a long time, he said, “Do you want to get well?”
“Sir,” the disabled man answered, “I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I’m coming, someone goes down ahead of me.”
“Get up,” Jesus told him, “pick up your mat and walk.” Instantly the man got well, picked up his mat,and started to walk.”
The disabled man is healed not by the pool but by his faith in Jesus. God tells him to “get up and walk,” and I believe that’s a call for all of us. We can remain run-down when we’re tired, or we can adopt an attitude of faith. We can get up and walk.
That’s super convicting for me.
I honestly can’t remember the last time I got a good night’s rest. Even before our son was before, during the latter half of pregnancy, I was constantly waking up to pee or because I felt uncomfortable. Now I’m lying awake at bedtime with my mind on overdrive, or I’m waking up because I’m anxious or because my baby is crying. The cycle is enough to make someone feel a little crazy.
As I’ve taken this sleep struggle to God, I’ve started to realize it’s often a spiritual attack. I can be crabby, angry, and lethargic, or I can open the Word every day, pray to God, and continue to walk by faith. This is something I’m still processing, and I think I’ll continue to throughout my life.
God wants us to rest in Him.
“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Paul, one of God’s greatest missionaries and disciples, had a thorn in his flesh that God never removed. We don’t know exactly what that thorn was, but we do know that Paul trusted in the Lord in the midst of his weakness. For me, sleeplessness is definitely a weakness. I can’t get through it without God. I just can’t.
My She Reads Truth bible puts it this way:
“Our insufficiency helps us press into Christ’s sufficiency… Anything that causes us to depend on Christ is a good thing. When we lean on Him, we will always, always, always find Him strong enough to hold us up.”
Let us pray:
Father, help me put on the full armor of God. Help me press into Your sufficiency in the midst of my exhaustion and insufficiency. Give me rest. Refresh my soul. Help me to walk in Your way. Thank you for Your truth, Your love, and Your care. Make me more like You.
In Your holy name, I pray.
Amen.
My Word of the Year
My nine-month-old son wakes up every morning full of joy. He still cries and fusses most nights for at least a little bit, but come morning, he is happy. Come morning, he is excited and ready to start the day. He’s babbling and rolling all around in his crib. As soon as he sees his mom or dad, he squeals with excitement. His delight is contagious.
When was the last time you woke up like that?
It’s certainly not my tendency.
Lately I seem to wake up feeling exhausted, not wanting to get out of bed, it’s cold, it’s dark, why was my son up so many times last night, I’m still tired, I’m not ready for this day…
The list rolls on.
What if I started the day with a grateful heart?
I’ve noticed that attitude is everything. I can choose to be thankful. I can choose to be positive. I can choose my reaction to situations. I can choose to worship God, even when I’m tired or anxious or simply don’t feel like it.
I too easily allow my hormones, the amount of sleep I got, and how much coffee I drank to affect my entire mood. I quickly snap at my husband with words that cut deep. I complain about my work as a stay-at-home mom, even though it’s a job I love and know I’ve been called to. I grumble at the dirty dishes and laundry piles. I berate myself not writing enough, not exercising enough, and even not praying enough. My peace is quickly shaken by my circumstances.
For the past four years, I’ve picked a word as we head into a new year. Rather than set a new year’s resolution, I’ve chosen a word that I’ve prayed about. It’s a word that I’ve felt God put on my heart. Sure enough, for four years, as each of those 12 months go by, I’ve seen God use that word in my life and show me more of Him through it.
That’s why, this year, I’m choosing a word that’s been right in front of me for a long time, and I’m finally claiming it for myself as we head into this new decade.
Joy.
For years, I’ve had a virtual sticky note on my desktop with James 1:2-12:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”
I recently took a moment to read this when I opened my laptop. James said we should consider sufferings, of any kind, as pure joy. What was he talking about? How could he say that?
James knows that all who would read the Word of God would have the story of Jesus.
We would be offered eternal hope in the Kingdom of God, saved by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8). James understood that no matter what we faced on this earth, we as believers in Christ would have eternal life to look forward to. We’d have an unshakeable hope, a future that’s secure, and victory over the enemy.
That’s pure joy.
I want that, and I’m committing to choose a life of joy in the Lord this year. It’s time I live in light of my salvation, remembering all God has done for me. Living in light of His promises as the free woman and the new self that I am. Maybe it’s time for you to do the same.
Colossians 3:1-17 says:
“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. or you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”
That passage is worth meditating on, friends. I’m choosing joy because I want to put off anger and obscene talk. I want to fight back against the lies of the enemy who tells me I’m not good enough and who tries to take away my contentment. I want to put on a compassionate heart, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Forgiveness. Love. I want to give thanks to God in all that I do.
So this year I’m praying for continual joy in this life God has given me and called me to. Pure, unadulterated joy in all circumstances. I have a living hope! And I’m ready to rejoice in it, with inexpressible and glorious joy.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. You are being guarded by God’s power through faith for a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. You rejoice in this, even though now for a short time, if necessary, you suffer grief in various trials so that the proven character of your faith—more valuable than gold which, though perishable, is refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him; though not seeing him now, you believe in him, and you rejoice with inexpressible and glorious joy, because you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”
Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom
Back in July, when my son was almost four months old, I officially resigned from my full-time marketing job. I had proposed a remote work arrangement with my bosses, but they turned me down. As much as my pride was hurt, I knew in my heart that their decision was for the best. Frankly, I didn’t want to go back to work, and after having five different bosses in a year and a half, I felt my time there had come to a close.
“Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this. ”
Charles and I had prayed about what I would do once the baby came, and the decision became abundantly clear as I spent weeks at home with our little love. I couldn’t imagine leaving him at home with someone else or enrolling him in daycare.
I knew without a doubt that God called me into motherhood, at this specific time, for His specific purpose. And I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.
I love being a SAHM. I love staying home with my son, and I feel incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to do so. I know this isn’t the case for many moms who desire to stay home but need two incomes to support their families. While, yes, we’ve had to make some financial sacrifices—like continuing to rent rather than buying a home and driving one car rather than two—the choice has been easy. This is what is best for our family.
Yet the prideful, approval-loving part of my heart still felt wounded when I was straight-up told no to my offer to work remotely. Since handing in my resignation letter, I’ve reached out to my editorial contacts to begin writing again, something I very much love to do. I’ve either been denied or ignored, and it’s frustrating.
Working is what I’ve done my whole life—from school to college to full-time career woman in NYC and Nashville. It’s what I know. It’s what’s comfortable. I enjoy working, and I am constantly striving to be “successful.” (Goodness, whatever that means.) I also tend to compare myself to others, so when I’ve been asked what my son and I do all day, I instantly turn from confident to sheepish.
“Well, we wake up, and I nurse him. Then I eat breakfast and try to read the Bible. He usually wants to nap by the time I finish, and he’ll do that for an hour or two. That’s my chance to finish reading, maybe journal, shower, and get ready. Depending on the day, we’ll go to a Bible study or mom’s group, or we’ll stroll Target or hit the grocery store. Pretty soon, it’s lunchtime, then nap time again, and before I know it, I’m prepping dinner. Evenings can be tough, and my baby is usually extra fussy. I might try to take a walk, I might give him a bath and read him a story, and then I put him to bed around 7:30. I crash by 9 or 9:30 p.m.”
I share my answer and then immediately tick off in my mind all the stay-at-home moms I know who also:
Run successful, money-making blogs
Freelance write
Write books
Consult with clients
Teach yoga
Run a styling business
Work remotely for their company
Host a podcast
Cook gourmet meals most nights
Bake homemade desserts most days
Lead Bible studies or discipleship groups
I want to be like those women, too. I want to be uber-productive and more than “just a mom.” Even though I recognize my job is incredibly important and a gift and something I love, I can still feel that tension.
During the last few months of transition, I have felt like I have to somehow justify the statement: “I’m a stay-at-home mom.”
Why? Why do I feel the need to add that but/and statement following my declaration of stay-at-home motherhood? Why do I want to assure people that I have a blog and I write and I do all these other things in addition to momming full-time?
Oh, my pride runs deep. Perhaps you can relate. It took words from my husband to wake me up and realize the truth:
“Mags, you are productive, simply in a different way. You’re producing our son! What could be more important than that?”
I’ve needed to hear my husband’s words, plus the encouragement of other moms and ultimately the encouragement of God’s Word to wake up and realize this is the greatest job I’ve ever had. My husband is right. I’m more productive than I ever have been—but it looks a lot different than writing articles, producing reports, and leading meetings. I’m not getting words of affirmation from coworkers and bosses. There’s no paycheck coming into my bank account every two weeks, no pat on the back for a job well done.
Instead, my feedback is the sound of laughter from my son. The smiles that are so big his dimples pop. The beginnings of words: “Mama.” And yes, many times I get tears and screams and spit-up and blowout diapers. But there’s so much sweetness in that. I’m growing my son from a baby to a boy. Feeding him (a full-time job in and of itself). Cleaning him. Playing with him. Teaching him sounds and words and movements. I have the rest of my life to work outside the home. These days are fleeting.
“Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation”
Just as God birthed His Spirit within me, now He’s birthed my child. He’s given me the privilege of raising him and teaching Him to walk in the Way of righteousness. God has cared for me and held me. He’s sacrificed for me, and He calls me beloved. He looks at me the way I look at my little one—as precious, fearfully and wonderfully made. He’s showing me more of Himself than I ever knew possible through motherhood.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
I am watching my son now as I type these. He’s rocking in his swing, chewing on a teething toy, and smiling at me with that adorable gummy grin. It warms my heart in a way I’ve never known before. Thank you, Father, for this good and perfect gift.
Becoming a mother, and a stay-at-home mom at that, has been both the hardest and greatest thing I’ve ever done. Or rather, that God has done for me. God is using motherhood to refine me every single day. He’s molding me and helping me see more of His character. He’s making me more like Him, through all the diaper changes and tears and sleepless nights along the way. God is holding my hand, sustaining me in this new season and reminding me of His goodness to provide this precious child to us.
I am my son’s caregiver, teacher, provider, and nurturer. I am his mother, and I am so, so thankful.
Father, give me joy and peace in my new calling, knowing my identity rests in You alone, Lord. Not a job title or paycheck, not more blog posts or more freelance work. In Christ alone. Thank you for Your faithfulness. Thank you for making me a momma. Help me to trust You in all areas of my life. Help me to disciple my son. Use me to be a light and bring glory to your Kingdom. I pray all this in Jesus’ name, Amen.