Is It Right for You to Be Angry?

“Jonah was greatly displeased and became furious. He prayed to the LORD: ‘Please, LORD, isn’t this what I thought while I was still in my own country? That’s why I fled toward Tarshish in the first place. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger, abounding in faithful love, and one who relents from sending disaster. And now, LORD, take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.”

“But the LORD replied, ‘Is it right for you to be angry?’” (Jonah 4:1-4)

Most of us have heard the story of Jonah and the big fish. But not as many of us know how his story continues. Jonah has spent three days in the belly of the fish, finally delivered God’s message to Ninevah, and now he throws a fit that God is going to do exactly what he expected Him to do all along. He feels like traveling to Ninevah was a waste of his time. Not to mention, the Ninevites were evil, Jonah’s worst enemy. How could God save them? 

So Jonah sets up camp alone on a hill beside Ninevah. God provides a plant to give him shade. And when God appoints a worm to kill the plant the next day, Jonah is angry enough to die.

“Then God asked Jonah, ‘Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?’

‘Yes, it’s right!’ he replied. ‘I’m angry enough to die!’ (Jonah 4:9)

Jonah cares more about a plant—that God created, and God took away—than a sinful city of 120,000 people. Ultimately, Jonah cares more about himself. And that’s the end of Jonah’s story. I don’t know what happens after this incident. 

What I do know is that I’m a lot like Jonah sometimes. I’ve been studying his story this fall using Priscilla Shirer’s bible study book, and God keeps reminding me that I’m right there in the mess with Jonah. 

My pulse quickens, my eyes get hot with tears, and I start to sweat. I feel like I’m going to explode. Anger can stem from the silliest little things to the biggest scary things to everything in between. Can you relate?

Maybe you’re angry your 1-year-old still won’t sleep through the night or that your child clogged the toilet (again). Maybe you’re angry about COVID and the election. Maybe you’re angry with a friend or family member. Maybe you’re angry that your boss (still) won’t give you that promotion. Maybe you’re angry about your health. Maybe you’re angry that your life doesn’t look the way you always expected it would. 

Whatever is causing your anger, please know that you are not alone. We all experience anger. We’re sinful humans, and we are bound to have negative feelings in this life. It’s in those moments that we need to turn to scripture. We need the truth of God to wash over us and remind us of who we are in Him.

I’ve been wanting to write this post for some time because I know there are so many others out there, particularly other moms, who feel the same way. We carry so much “mom guilt” about our anger. We consider this the greatest job in the world, and we feel awful that sometimes we take it for granted or lash out in anger. I want to write this because I think it’s time for us to be honest, repent, and then turn the page moving forward. 

While I might turn angry quickly, God does not. God is slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. (Here are four verses that proclaim this truth.) 

“...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passion and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” (Galatians 5:22-26)

God warns us that outbursts of angry are a work of the flesh (Galatians 5:20). He calls us to love our neighbor as ourself (Galatians 5:14), to live at peace.

We can only do this through the grace of Christ. We need God’s patience to reign in our hearts. We need His example of compassion and great love when He went to the cross for us. So, too, we must crucify our own flesh with its passions and desires. 

This is not an easy task!

It’s an ever-evolving process. I have to keep trusting in God and surrendering my anger to Him. He is the living water, and He offers an overflowing well of joy and peace for me if I choose to receive it.

Below are some questions I’m pondering as I examine my own anger and whether it’s right for me to be angry. I hope they’re helpful for you as well. 

1. Is this a righteous anger or a self-righteous anger?

2. Does whatever makes me angry also make God angry?

3. Can I reframe and see the blessing in this?

4. Am I willing to let Him soften my heart if I’m still angry? Will I turn to God and trust Him?

A few books that might also be helpful to read are Emotions: Can You Trust Them? by Dr. James Dobson, For the Tough Times by Max Lucado, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst, and True Feelings by Carolyn Mahaney.

Draw near to the Lord, and He will draw near to you (James 4:8). 

Steadfast in Every Season

Back in January, I wrote about my word of the year and why I chose "steadfast."

steadfast (adj.)

(1) Firmly fixed in place: immovable.

(2) Firm in belief, determination, or adherence: loyal.  

"I pray God cultivates steadfastness in me like His son, Jesus. This year, I pray my faith is resolutely firm. I want to be devoted to God no matter the situation or season. His love for us is unwavering—I want that kind of love for Him in return. I know I am prone to worry and anxiety. I like to be in control. But God, I give that to You.  

Lord, help me to stand firm in the faith. Guard me against sin and temptation and keep me focused on you. Give me steadfastness. Endurance for the fight and total surrender to the King.

That's the life I want to live in 2018: steadfast and true."

Here we are, 7 months later, and I need that steadfastness in my life.

I have felt my emotions running the gamut these past few weeks. Anger, frustration, impatience, irritability. I have felt like a hormonal teenager all the time, getting annoyed by the slightest things and allowing a cloud of negativity to hang over my usual sunny self.

Charles and I recently moved, and I find myself rooting my emotions in the state of boxes in our apartment. When our home feels disheveled, so do I. I let my emotions carry me away, rather than anchoring myself in the Father above and the truth I know in Him.

God loves feelings. Jesus Himself experienced the depth of feelings while here on this earth. He knows deep joy and love, grief, anxiety, and empathy like no one else. He understands feelings because He is the One who created them.  

So my feelings are not a bad thing. My feelings are not a problem in the eyes of God. Instead, my feelings are meant to show me more of Him. When I am upset about a messy apartment or frustrated that I can't do things exactly my way, what does that say about my heart?  

I think about Joseph in the book of Genesis. Joseph, whom God loved, was put through situation after situation in which his faith was tested. Yet he never wavered. He followed God, and he credited all to God's righteousness. Joseph was thrown into a pit by his brothers and left to die. Then his brothers changed their minds and sold him as a slave to men passing by. Why let him die when they could prosper off his pain?

Joseph ends up serving Potiphar. Potiphar’s wife demands the young and attractive Joseph have an affair with her. He denies her, and Joseph ends up thrown in prison, hated by both Potiphar and his wife.

God still follows him.  

“But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keepers of the prison… And whatever he did, the Lord made it succeed.”

— Genesis 39

He's respected and given more responsibility than the other prisoners. He helps the chief cupbearer get out of prison—and the cupbearer forgets about Joseph. Two. Whole. Years. Pass.

Finally, the cupbearer remembers Joseph. He gets him out of prison by telling Pharaoh he could interpret his dreams. Joseph explains how Egypt will have 7 years of abundance followed by 7 years of famine, and he helps Egypt prepare for this impending famine. So Pharoah uses Joseph and exalts him to the highest position in his kingdom.

“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”

— 1 Corinthians 15:58

Throughout his entire story—which spans years—we never see Joseph lose his cool. We don't see him freak out in the prison or complain to God.  

In fact, Joseph is the complete opposite. He is steady, he is faithful, he is true.

God is with him in all that he does. Joseph reflects the steadfastness of God, and he’s a symbol of the Messiah to come. He shows what it truly looks like to have unwavering faith that isn’t disturbed by feelings or situation. His example encourages me in this season where my belief falters. From the pit to the prison to the riches in the house of Pharaoh, Joseph walks with God.

What would it look like for us to walk with God, regardless of circumstance? What if we remembered God walks with us even when we don’t feel His presence? I think our lives would look quite different. Our feelings would become more steady. And our emotions would serve as a way to point us to God, not detract us from Him.

“Lord, give me steadfastness like Joseph, like the Father, like Jesus. Keep me steady, peaceful, grateful. Help me walk with You in every situation and season. I pray all these things in Your name. Amen.”

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.