Hope in the Midst of Unmet Expectations

“May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done.” (Ruth 2:12, NLT)

I had our first year of marriage all planned out. 

Romantic dinners, walks in the park, coffee dates, and Sundays side-by-side at church. 

Instead, our year looked vastly different. Shortly after our honeymoon, my husband began working nights. The job slowly ate away at him and often hit 80 hours per week. We hardly saw each other. 

“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1a, ESV)

I wonder if Ruth ever felt the same way. 

After losing her father-in-law, brother-in-law, and husband, Ruth boldly chose to stay by her mother-in-law Naomi’s side. 

“For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you live, I will live; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.” (Ruth 1:16b, HCSB)

Her loyalty comes amidst desperation. Ruth had witnessed Naomi’s faith in Yahweh. She was willing to leave behind her family and homeland to follow the Lord. And she had hope He would deliver them.

God wrote Ruth’s story, and once in Bethlehem, He brought her to Boaz’s field. Boaz protects her, ensuring she and Naomi have food. He blesses her:

“May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done.” (Ruth 2:12, NLT)

Ruth’s unwavering faith in the Lord is so encouraging. Through every season, we’re called to seek refuge under the shadow of His wings.

This young woman had no idea Boaz was one of Naomi’s “kinsman-redeemers.” She was simply obeying God. Later, she humbles herself at Boaz’s feet, requesting marriage. Boaz selflessly takes Ruth as his bride and vows to sacrificially care for her. This is huge! God’s providence leads Ruth—a poor widow and foreigner—to Boaz. She gives birth to a son, and God puts Ruth in the genealogy of Jesus. 

Naomi and Ruth had no home, security, or hope. And God provided. 

He’s not left us without a Redeemer. He cares for us as individual women, no matter our background or circumstance. During marital hardship, poverty, fear, disappointment, and death, God is still present. He’s full of lovingkindness, and He’s provided our ultimate Kinsman-Redeemer in Jesus Christ.

My marriage didn’t improve overnight. My husband’s job wore us down and disappointed us.

But God never did. He was always there, pointing me to stories of hope like Ruth’s.

He showed us dashed expectations can be a very good thing and His plan is much better than ours. Ten months into marriage, I gave birth to our son, an unexpected, “good and perfect gift” (James 1:17, NIV). God gave us a tangible sign of hope—a continual reminder of His provision. “How excellent is thy lovingkindness, O God! therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of thy wings.” (Psalm 36:7, KJV)

Thank you, Jesus.

Lessons Learned

This past weekend, we went on a snowy, winter hike. It was a short, relatively easy one mile to the top, where a beautiful, icy glacier awaited us. We’d done this hike a few times before but always during the summer. We all dressed in warm clothes and boots, and we set off excitedly on our journey.

We took some incredible photos, like the one above. It looks like a winter wonderland, right? And in the photo I shared on Instagram where you see our faces, we look super happy.

What our beautiful photos don’t show you is that we ended up being pretty unprepared for the frigid temps and strong winds that met us at the top. My husband and I both forgot our gloves. (Oof.) Even though our son had on his warmest mittens, coat, boots, and hat, he still looked pretty darn cold and windburned halfway through the hike. Right before we headed back down, I started to feel anxious and worried for him. And unfortunately, I took my frustration and fear out on my husband by yelling at him. Never the way to go. Our son started screaming and crying.

His crying picked up as we began our descent. And it was the awful, sad, high-pitched kind of cry that comes with lots of tears and a very runny nose. It hurts my heart just thinking about it.

Charles took him out of the hiking backpack to instead hold him close. He used his bare hands to warm our little guy’s face, while going as fast as he could down the hill. Twenty minutes later, we’re back at our car, all trying to warm up and calm down. Our son was still screaming, and Charles’ hands hurt so bad, I thought he had frostbite.

The next thing we know, the car starts blasting air instead of heat—and then it shuts off completely.

Well, THANK THE LORD my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and three of her kids were with us. They took a separate car, so praise God we could all pile in their vehicle to stay warm. At this point, Charles realized our car wouldn’t start because it was out of gas. We were stuck. Cue another angry outburst from me. Yikes.

My angel sister-in-law drove us all a half hour to the nearest town, where we picked up a tank of gas. And then she drove us all back up that mountain so Charles could fill our car. Did I mention she is an angel? 😊

After a few unsuccessful starts, and more shivering in the freezing temps, Charles was able to fill up our tank with those two precious gallons of gas. It was just enough to let us coast down the mountain into the nearest town to fill up with a full tank. After that, we all headed safely back to my sister-in-law’s for a delicious homemade dinner and cozy night in.

It was a crazy afternoon, one that taught me a few valuable lessons I want to share with you here:

1. Never let your gas tank get below half a tank during the winter, especially if you’re traveling at higher altitudes.

2. Always keep an emergency kit in your car.

3. What you see on social media is almost always a highlight reel. We took some beautiful photos on our hike. But like I said when I shared a picture on my Instagram, a photo only depicts a small snippet of a story. Social media is a platform where most of us, most of the time, show off our very best selves. Remember that whenever you’re tempted to compare yourself to someone else. You never know what their full story might be.

4. My attitude as a mom has the ability to affect my entire family. This goes for every one of us moms, and I would argue for anyone helping lead a family. I remember reading this in a motherhood book, and this weekend I learned it is so, so true. My temperature affects my husband’s and my children’s. I want to be a mom who parents with joy and who trusts in the Lord as much and as often as I humanly can.

5. Last but certainly not least: Despite my turbulent emotions, God is always stable. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). When I’m fearful, when I’m anxious, when I’m angry, when I’m out of gas—God is my rock (Isaiah 44:8). He is my anchor (Hebrews 6:19). He’s the only One I can tether myself to for true protection, provision, and peace. He is the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). Thank you, Lord!

“Do not tremble, do not be afraid. Did I not proclaim this and foretell it long ago? You are my witnesses. Is there any God besides me? No, there is no other Rock; I know not one.”

— Isaiah 44:8

Is It Right for You to Be Angry?

“Jonah was greatly displeased and became furious. He prayed to the LORD: ‘Please, LORD, isn’t this what I thought while I was still in my own country? That’s why I fled toward Tarshish in the first place. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger, abounding in faithful love, and one who relents from sending disaster. And now, LORD, take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.”

“But the LORD replied, ‘Is it right for you to be angry?’” (Jonah 4:1-4)

Most of us have heard the story of Jonah and the big fish. But not as many of us know how his story continues. Jonah has spent three days in the belly of the fish, finally delivered God’s message to Ninevah, and now he throws a fit that God is going to do exactly what he expected Him to do all along. He feels like traveling to Ninevah was a waste of his time. Not to mention, the Ninevites were evil, Jonah’s worst enemy. How could God save them? 

So Jonah sets up camp alone on a hill beside Ninevah. God provides a plant to give him shade. And when God appoints a worm to kill the plant the next day, Jonah is angry enough to die.

“Then God asked Jonah, ‘Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?’

‘Yes, it’s right!’ he replied. ‘I’m angry enough to die!’ (Jonah 4:9)

Jonah cares more about a plant—that God created, and God took away—than a sinful city of 120,000 people. Ultimately, Jonah cares more about himself. And that’s the end of Jonah’s story. I don’t know what happens after this incident. 

What I do know is that I’m a lot like Jonah sometimes. I’ve been studying his story this fall using Priscilla Shirer’s bible study book, and God keeps reminding me that I’m right there in the mess with Jonah. 

My pulse quickens, my eyes get hot with tears, and I start to sweat. I feel like I’m going to explode. Anger can stem from the silliest little things to the biggest scary things to everything in between. Can you relate?

Maybe you’re angry your 1-year-old still won’t sleep through the night or that your child clogged the toilet (again). Maybe you’re angry about COVID and the election. Maybe you’re angry with a friend or family member. Maybe you’re angry that your boss (still) won’t give you that promotion. Maybe you’re angry about your health. Maybe you’re angry that your life doesn’t look the way you always expected it would. 

Whatever is causing your anger, please know that you are not alone. We all experience anger. We’re sinful humans, and we are bound to have negative feelings in this life. It’s in those moments that we need to turn to scripture. We need the truth of God to wash over us and remind us of who we are in Him.

I’ve been wanting to write this post for some time because I know there are so many others out there, particularly other moms, who feel the same way. We carry so much “mom guilt” about our anger. We consider this the greatest job in the world, and we feel awful that sometimes we take it for granted or lash out in anger. I want to write this because I think it’s time for us to be honest, repent, and then turn the page moving forward. 

While I might turn angry quickly, God does not. God is slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. (Here are four verses that proclaim this truth.) 

“...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passion and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” (Galatians 5:22-26)

God warns us that outbursts of angry are a work of the flesh (Galatians 5:20). He calls us to love our neighbor as ourself (Galatians 5:14), to live at peace.

We can only do this through the grace of Christ. We need God’s patience to reign in our hearts. We need His example of compassion and great love when He went to the cross for us. So, too, we must crucify our own flesh with its passions and desires. 

This is not an easy task!

It’s an ever-evolving process. I have to keep trusting in God and surrendering my anger to Him. He is the living water, and He offers an overflowing well of joy and peace for me if I choose to receive it.

Below are some questions I’m pondering as I examine my own anger and whether it’s right for me to be angry. I hope they’re helpful for you as well. 

1. Is this a righteous anger or a self-righteous anger?

2. Does whatever makes me angry also make God angry?

3. Can I reframe and see the blessing in this?

4. Am I willing to let Him soften my heart if I’m still angry? Will I turn to God and trust Him?

A few books that might also be helpful to read are Emotions: Can You Trust Them? by Dr. James Dobson, For the Tough Times by Max Lucado, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst, and True Feelings by Carolyn Mahaney.

Draw near to the Lord, and He will draw near to you (James 4:8). 

7 Ways to Stay Connected Right Now

If you’re like me, you’re probably craving connection right now. Pandemic life is strange, but this looks like it’s going to be our new normal (at least for a while). So how do you stay in touch with friends, meet new people, and get out safely? Here are seven easy ideas. And I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to and how you’re staying connected! Leave me a comment below.

1. Check out your local church.

Our church reopened a few months ago, and we’ve been so thankful. Worship services are definitely different than they used to be, especially without a children’s ministry. But there’s simply no replacement for being around other believers on a Sunday morning. If you haven’t yet found a church in your neighborhood, I’d recommend checking out churches near you in the Acts29 Network, SBC, and Redeemer Church’s City to City Network. Most of these churches stream services live on Sundays and record sermon podcasts each week.

Your church might even be offering home Bible studies where you can safely meet with others in person. Many churches also have life groups or community groups, as well as various support groups. And don’t forget about Biblical counseling—a great way to connect when you’re feeling anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, or just need a bit of extra support. 

2. Register for MOPS or BSF.

These organizations were integral in helping me maintain a sense of normalcy last year as a new mom. MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) both have groups throughout the country. Depending on where you live, you might even be able to meet in person.

3. Go outside.

Fall is upon us, and there’s no better time to get outside. We’ve loved playing tennis, taking walks, and going to the playground. My sister actually started a tennis “club” with three of her girlfriends—a free, safe, and easy way to stay connected. (Plus, who doesn’t love the endorphins from exercise?) Ask a friend to join you outdoors or look into local sports leagues to hone your competitive side.

4. Join the gym.

If using an elliptical while wearing a mask sounds like your worst nightmare, take heart! Many group fitness classes are moving outdoors this fall. Our local recreation center has dance, yoga, HIIT, and other classes in various parks. See what your gym has to offer. This is a great way to stay active and meet new people.

5. Sign up for LO Sister.

Is there anything Sadie Robertson can’t do? Girlfriend shares the word of God in a way that’s full of passion and fire. I love it. She also has a heart for connecting women with other women, which led her to create the Live Original Sister online community. It’s for women of all ages and walks of life, with a focus on sisterhood, relationships, and mentorship. Check it out here.

6. Make a VidHug.

My cousin introduced me to VidHug—the 21st century, COVID-era way to give a hug. To start a VidHug, you can send a link to family and friends, asking them to record a short video with their message for the receipt. Happy birthday, happy anniversary, congratulations, you name it. Once they submit their videos, VidHug turns them into a beautiful montage for you to share. It’s easy and fun, especially if your friends are long-distance. We’re hoping to make one of these for my grandma when she turns 95 next month.

7. Call a friend and send snail mail.

Last but not least, call a friend or mail a letter! Two of the oldest ways to connect with people are still the best. Hearing a friend’s voice is always better than texting. And you’ll make someone’s day by sending a card or letter. If you want to design your own cards, you can usually find cardstock and colored pencils at Target or Walmart for less than $5. Dollar Tree and Trader Joe’s also have adorable options that are always $1.

Have fun staying connected!