Expectant

Expectant.

This word has been ringing in my ears. I think it’s from the Holy Spirit. As I wait to deliver our baby boy, I am expectant. I expect God will show up. He will be in every detail. He will orchestrate labor in his precise, perfect plan. I expect my birth plan will only go so far because God’s plan is better. He is purposeful and intentional.

He is my rock and my salvation. He is a good, good Father. Provider. Protector. I expect He will cover us in peace and joy. I expect that in my weakness, He will be made strong. I expect my worries and fears will all be for naught because He is in control.

I wrote the above in my journal and then I looked up “expectant,” “expecting,” “expectation” in Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. (This concordance indexes every word of the King James Version of the Bible, like a dictionary but even better. It’s an amazing study resource and I cannot recommend it highly enough.) Upon looking up these words, I was pointed to Jeremiah 29:11, a verse I’ve always loved but never read in the KJV:

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

An expected end. I love how this translation is phrased. God knows how our stories play out, and He’s been planning them from the beginning. He gives us hope and a future. He desires our well-being and to give us the kingdom.

I continued looking at the concordance and landed on Psalm 62:5:

“My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.”

God is my rock and salvation. That’s exactly what I had written in my journal before referencing the concordance. God knew what I needed to read, and He gave me the exact word and passage. He is my foundation; I will never face a situation without Him. He is the great I Am.

Expectant.

Charles and I are expectant parents. At 39 weeks 4 days, we are expecting to meet our sweet son any day now. Expecting above all, God’s grace in every moment of our anticipation and beyond.

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

For When You're Feeling Anxious

I’ve been a worrier for as long as I can recall. Back in middle school, I sometimes would have a difficult time falling asleep because I was too worried about the next day’s test or presentation. I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. There was one time a few classmates and I supposed to go on a special field trip downtown; I was so nervous to go that I literally made myself feel sick the day of the trip. High school brought a whole new set of worries, with sports and college and boys. I was even worried I’d be bad at the whole dating thing, and I stopped dating a nice boy because of it. (Don't worry—it worked out for the best.)

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me. He delivered me from all my fears.”

— Psalm 34:4

Worry and anxiety have been a big part of my story and how Christ drew me to Himself. 

I’ve had to learn how to manage my stress levels. Living in New York City for four years presented its own set of challenges, and while I live in a more peaceful environment now, I know anxiety may be something I’m always prone to if I’m not mindful of it.

We all face anxiety. Many of us are often managing worry and fear on a daily basis. The reality of stress is hard to escape. We talk so much about taking care of our health by eating well and exercising, yet we practically glorify stress. Being busy is a badge of honor. And honestly, the whole “hustle” mentality sounds great until your body breaks down.

I heard once that worry is an insult to God. It’s so true. Worry, at its core, reflects a sense of pride. Worry says, “I’m worried because I’m in control and I know what’s best.”

The only way to stop worry in its tracks is to recognize we are not in control. 

We can’t figure it all out.

And we don’t have to.

If you are a Believer—if you’ve repented and called Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior—then you have a hope greater than this world. 

(If you’re not sure where you’re at with Jesus, would you take a minute to read this? He wants a relationship with you, and that’s the only way your worry will ever truly subside.)

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ this is The Lord’s declaration. ‘Plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’”

— Jeremiah 29:10

Even as Christians, we are going to struggle. We live in a broken world, so naturally we still face worry and anxiety. Yet with Christ, we can trust He has us in His hands. He has a plan. He gives us a future, even when our future here on earth looks bleak. Life is more than what we can currently see.

We’ll face stress, no doubt. But Jesus is the difference-maker. He allows us to cope and defeat these feelings so they don’t knock us out.

When I’m feeling especially anxious, I have to remind myself to talk to God.

I say something like this:

“Father, I thank you so much for your truth that helps me stay grounded when I’m struggling. Your Word is so clear that we are not to be anxious about anything. We are to run to you! I am so grateful you are a God who cares deeply and intimately about all the details of our lives.

I confess I get anxious. I worry. I fear. That fear is not of you. That’s my own distrust of you and selfish focus on my own ways. Right now I’m anxious about these things...”

Then I write down every little thing that’s on my mind and has my stomach in knots. Truly everything: My to-do list. My job responsibilities. My bills. My savings account. My health. My living situation. My relationship status. My family. My friends. My pesky rosacea. (Yes, you can add skin conditions to your list, too.)

The things that worry you might be similar to what worry me, or they might be completely different. All that matters is that you examine that list and realize how small each of these things is in light of God. In light of eternity. In light of our great commission. That list seems big and long and stressful. But guess what?

God knows the answers to all of these things we worry about.

He is paving the way.

Pray that God would give you a spirit of trust not of fear. Pray for patience and a full reliance on Him. Pray for a heart that’s more like His.

This is a process and a practice. I have to continue confessing and taking my worries, however big or small, to the King. I have to ask that He keep my eyes fixed on Him. I look at my list and find comfort in the fact that God has a plan for all of it.

These stressors force me to turn to Him. He’s the perfect One, not me. Stress and anxiety keep me reliant on Him rather than myself. They remind me I cannot do it all, and I cannot live this life alone. 

The more I focus on Him, the better I sleep, the less intimidating my list looks, and the more content I feel. Think about Jesus, all He's done for you, and the life He guarantees you when you run to Him. Do that, and I know your worries will subside. 

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

This Post Is Not About Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton

I don’t need to rehash details of this year’s presidential election to you. Today is November 4. With less than a week to go, you probably know all about the candidates, the scandals, the mudslinging, the mess. You’ve probably watched it all unfold and then burst into uncontrollable flames like I have.

It’s completely disheartening, and the more I dwell on it, the more upset I get. In fact, I couldn’t make it through the debates without a hefty dose of chocolate—and I couldn’t make it through the last one at all. How are these the two candidates we’ve ended up with? How is this the state of our country?

It feels like a joke, but it’s far from it.

A friend of mine recently shared an excerpt from C.S. Lewis’ 1942 book, The Screwtape Letters. The satirical book is a series of letters from a senior demon, Screwtape, to his young nephew, Wormwood. Screwtape assigns Wormwood to a human—the "patient"—and advises him on how to excel as the devil, how to tempt and bring to hell. I read the book a few years ago, but I completely forgot about this particular passage until my friend posted it online:

My Dear Wormwood,

Be sure that the patient remains completely fixated on politics. Arguments, political gossip, and obsessing on the faults of people they have never met serves as an excellent distraction from advancing in personal virtue, character, and the things the patient can control. Make sure to keep the patient in a constant state of angst, frustration, and general disdain towards the rest of the human race in order to avoid any kind of charity or inner peace from further developing. Ensure that the patient continues to believe that the problem is "out there" in the "broken system" rather than recognizing there is a problem with himself.

Keep up the good work,

Uncle Screwtape

This is us. This is where we are.

We’re fixated on politics, gossip, anger, and frustration. We complain about a broken system when in reality, the problem is within. This presidential election goes far beyond a system of democracy instituted by our founding fathers. It reflects the state of our hearts and the spiritual battle we face between good and evil. Satan wants to take us down in any way he can. He’ll use all the tools in his arsenal. Political dissent, debate, argument, hate, anarchy—those are a few of his favorite tools, and he’s definitely using them in our current culture.

But as Believers, our story doesn’t end here. We live for something greater. We're so distracted by politics that we've forgotten the truth. While voting and engaging in our government is so very important, it will not ultimately save our souls.

Let me put it this way: Donald Trump is not our savior.

Hillary Clinton is not our savior.

Jesus is our savior.

We can take heart for He has overcome the world.  

Understanding this truth gives me peace. It should lift our spirits. It should also encourage us to share the Good News.

I have slowly yet surely been making my way through the story of Jeremiah, and I’ve been convicted to spread the truth, even when it’s not popular. This Old Testament book is more a challenge for me to get through, but after reading some online Bible commentaries, I’ve come to better relate to it. And I can see how very relevant it is to our current culture.

The prophet Jeremiah was sent by God to teach the Israelites, a people who don’t believe in God. They don’t fear Him. They don’t obey Him. Instead they are fixed on sin, selfishness, and utter debauchery. Jeremiah tries to tell them how their lack of belief and trust in God will result in eternal wrath.

No one wants to hear his message. This kingdom could care less about the God he speaks of. They accept and promote the things God hates, and they have no qualms about this.

Jeremiah felt completely alone and discouraged. It hurt Jeremiah to see the land of Judah and Israel in such a state. Jeremiah struggled. How could he deliver God’s message to a people who strayed so far from what God intended for them? How could he tell the unpopular, convicting truth to people who didn’t want to hear it?

We will all experience rejection and discouragement in our walk with the Lord. To me, the election is incredibly discouraging. The sin we’re seeing before our eyes is not what God wants for us. It is not how He intended for us to live. It’s the result of the fall—the result of our brokenness.

But Jeremiah shows us that we can take comfort in God’s faithfulness. He knew the plans God had for him and the plans He had for Israel. To give them hope and to prosper, to give him a future. God has those plans for all who believe. His words are life, and we have to keep sharing them no matter how unpopular they are. Whether Democrat or Republican or Independent, we have to keep sharing. Even when those words seem foolish and crazy to the outside world, we're called to deliver the truth.

I pray for our nation’s leaders and for our country’s protection. I pray for peace around the world. I pray we wouldn't be distracted by our differences but that we would come together under the one who is Lord. I believe He is faithful, and I know that no matter what happens with this election, or during the next four years, I live for something more. My hope rests in Christ and Christ alone. I thank God for that.

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.