The Comparison Game

I moved to Nashville nine months ago. In that time, I have received three couches from friends and family. Yes, three. My initial thought was one of gratitude and appreciation. I have a new couch! For free! But if I’m honest that very quickly dissipated and morphed into, This couch doesn’t fit with my aesthetic. This isn’t what I’m going for. My apartment doesn’t look good enough to invite friends into. I want the clean, white, perfect Joanna Gaines home that so many other people seem to have.

Hello—talking about a couch here. Interior design. A first-world problem if there ever was one.

I’d say to myself, I’m a 27-year-old woman living in my first apartment alone, and I want it to look good.

It didn’t take long for my boyfriend to call me out. Leave it to a male to speak the obvious truth:

Why does it matter?

Desiring or possessing a nice house or apartment is not an inherently bad thing. We’re allowed to have living spaces that fit our style and make us feel at home. But I think it’s important we ask ourselves the state of our hearts in desiring these things and building them up.

Surely you can relate, whether with your home, your body, your job, or your relationship status. After all, we live in an image-focused world. I read a statistic that Instagram has 600 million users, 400 million of whom are active every day. And 95 billion images and videos are shared on Instagram every 24 hours. How crazy is that? We’re inundated with images from other people—some authentic but many not. Images of fitness routines, “clean” meals, beauty tips, high fashion, celebrity lifestyles, career accomplishments, perfect homes—the list is never-ending.

I look at Instagram and compare myself to women who “have it all”: a successful blog or book, a cute body, great fashion sense, a perfectly decorated home, a nice husband, and maybe even a sweet little one.

These things will ultimately pass away. That vintage clawfoot tub and the number of blog followers aren't coming with us to heaven. We’re not guaranteed our six-pack abs are either. I don’t want to store up so many treasures for myself here on earth that I’m reluctant to leave them behind when I’m called to glory and life eternal with Jesus Christ.

Let my wealth be in the Cross.

This truth applies to any of our ventures. I know when I am not on guard and spending time in God’s Word, my tendency to compare can take deeper roots in my life. I imagine comparison like a nasty weed that makes its way into the flower bed and destroys every blossom. It digs in, plants roots, and grows deeper and wider until it has thoroughly wrecked the entire garden.

At that point, my comparison turns into jealousy and envy.

My friend Paul Maxwell had this to say about jealousy:

"Through jealousy, God shows us two things. First, he shows us himself. He is a jealous God (he even says “my name is Jealous” Exodus 34:14). It is part of his character as the covenanting God to take on the pain and hurt of experiencing his bride’s unfaithfulness (Hosea 4:13–14). Through our jealousy, we experience a communicable divine emotion (Deuteronomy 32:21).

Second, he shows us ourselves. Through jealousy, the deepest desires of our hearts are elicited and amplified (Genesis 22:12; Psalm 66:18–20). The fire of jealousy burns away the distractions of life’s details to show us the things we treasure. This process of internal emotional suffering—of jealousy most pointedly—can help clarify and bring to the surface all that we would otherwise have kept hidden from God and even from ourselves."

My jealousy indicates where my desires are. My jealousy for someone else’s beautiful home is about more than decor. At its core, it’s about approval, recognition, and admiration.

I even get jealous about friend’s successful blogs, books, and creative pursuits. Deep down, I want God to widely use me and my writing, to allow me to publish a book and to impact other women. The jealousy that can come from that desire is not a pretty place for my heart to be.

In 1 Kings 20 and 21, we see Ahab fiercely jealous of Naboth and his vineyard. Ahab wants what he wants, and his wife Jezebel encourages him to assert his power to make it happen. God had commanded earlier,

“Walk in my statutes, execute my ordinances, and keep all My commandments by walking in them.”

— 1 Kings 6:12

Ahab and Jezebel completely disregard God and pursue their own desires in selfishness and sin.

Later, Ahab repents and walks around subdued—and The Lord honors His humility. God is just, yet He is full of mercy. He wants our humility and reliance on Him over our own pride. And He wants our contentment to be in Him, not in what other people have.

Immorality comes into my life through comparison, jealousy, and pride. Can you say the same?

I want my focus to be on my holiness, my becoming more like Jesus and more consistently in step with Him. This has to be elevated above any striving for success, approval, or acceptance. 

“This is what the Lord says: Heaven is my throne, and earth is my footstool. Where could you possibly build a house for me? And where would my resting place be? My hand made all these things, and so they all came into being. This is the Lord’s declaration. I will look favorably on this kind of person: one who is humble, submissive in spirit, and trembles at my word.”

— Isaiah 66:1-2

God created heaven and earth; He created us and every part of our lives. He's looking for the person who is humbly willing to follow Him. When I notice myself in the trap of comparison, I ask Him to create in me a humble heart and a spirit of obedience to His will. I need His help so that my focus rests on Him, not on others. Let my life be about Jesus and the things He wants for me.

Rather than compare to others or long jealously after what they have, we can root ourselves in the Lord. When we align our hearts with His, we understand and experience what He wants for us.

This is the long game. It's not an overnight process. It takes work, and it takes continual turning back to Him.

When we do that, we get to rest because we're not constantly striving. We get to experience real peace in a way we cannot with anything else. While it may not garner us a bestselling book or a cute home like the comparison game could, it will allow God to use us as He sees fit, for our overall good and the good of His kingdom.

I'd take that any day. 

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

He Is Risen

If you’ve been around Christians long enough, you’re probably heard or been asked, “Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?”

Maybe you've even been asked, “Have you been saved?”

And maybe you’re wondering what on earth these people are talking about. I’m going to be as real as possible with you and try to explain that the best way I know how.

To me, having a personal relationship with Jesus means He is the center of your life. He is everything to you. You live your life for Jesus, to become more like Him every single day. You know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you’re going to spend eternity in heaven with Him. You believe He rose from the dead, and that one day, you too will be raised from the dead by Him.

Having a personal relationship with Jesus means more than saying God is real. It’s more than thinking there’s someone up in the clouds making the world go around. It’s more than believing in heaven and hell. And it’s a lot more than going to church every Sunday.

A personal relationship with Jesus Christ changes everything.

I know this because I’ve experienced that radical change in my own life.

A few years ago, while I believed in God—even the trinity of Jesus, the Father, and the Holy Spirit—I had no idea how much He could change my life. I didn’t grasp the magnitude of His presence or His actions in my life right now. 

I didn’t read the Bible on a daily basis, and I didn’t have a desire to. I didn’t go to Him in prayer. Even though I believed in God, I relied fully on myself. I didn't see myself as a sinner in need of salvation. I controlled my life, and by most people’s standards, I was pretty good at it. I was successful in every area. I was a good person. What did I have to worry about?

It took everything falling apart and me hitting rock bottom—plus years after that with God continually pursuing my heart—for me to finalize realize what I was missing and Who I needed. 

I needed Jesus. When I began to see that, my life began to change.

Grace came into the picture, and I finally realized I could experience a deep sense of hope every single day. I didn't have to be perfect because I have a God who is perfect, a God sees me as perfect in Him. 

I had to understand the full picture of the resurrection of Jesus Christ to enter into a saving relationship with Him. You see, the resurrection changes everything! Jesus was fully man and fully God. He was perfect; he never sinned. Yet He died the most horrible death imaginable for our sins. Because, like you, I am a sinner. We all are sinners in need of our Savior. 

Jesus died, and on the third day, He rose again! He was resurrected and ascended into heaven so that we might have eternal life. His blood was poured out for us. He was the ultimate sacrifice, and He died the death that we deserve. He is the only way we can have eternal life with Him, rather than eternal separation in hell. Our sins are what nailed Him to that cross. 

As my pastor proclaimed this Easter Sunday, Jesus loves us so much that He went to the cross. He is the only religious leader on the planet who rose from the dead. You can go around the world right now to find the remains of Mohammed, Confucius, Joseph Smith, and every other leader. But if you go to Israel and you look into Jesus’ tomb, you won’t see a thing. No bone, no remnant, no nothing. He is ALIVE. He is alive and active!

“He is not here! For He has been resurrected, just as He said. Come and see the place where He lay.”

— Matthew 28:6

We see in the book of Matthew, as well as the gospels of Mark, Luke, and John, that Jesus rose from the dead. Hundreds of eyewitnesses accounted this. And do you know who the first person the risen Jesus revealed Himself to? A woman. He showed up to Mary Magdalene, a woman who was once possessed by demons and who Jesus healed. She’s someone who society would have looked down upon in every way. Yet Jesus made Himself known to her. This is no ordinary man, and this is no ordinary story. Had a human written this story, written the Bible, I can guarantee you that Jesus would not reveal himself to a woman. Even more so, He wouldn’t have died. He would have instead been the typical hero we picture: strong and mighty and unable to die.

But that’s just it: Jesus is the strongest and the most mighty. And He hasn’t died—not really. He was resurrected on the third day, and He reigns over heaven and earth!

“He demonstrated this power in the Messiah by raising him from the dead and seating Him at His right hand in the heavens, far above every ruler and authority, every power and dominion, and every title given, not only in this age but also in the age to come. He put everything under His feet and appointed Him as head over everything for the church, which is His body, the fullness of the One who fills all things in every way.”

— Ephesians 1:20-22

We have access to God today through His word, through prayer, and through the Holy Spirit. Jesus is not some far-away God in some far-away place. He’s living and breathing in our lives right now. We can open up the Bible, read it aloud, and hear God speaking to us in this very moment.

God’s Word is so clear about what we must do in order to be saved. Baptism doesn’t save you. Repentance doesn’t save you. Going to church doesn’t save you. None of these works will give you a personal relationship with Jesus.

“If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

— Romans 10:9

A personal relationship with Jesus—a saving relationship with Him—comes down to our faith. You know you are a sinner, you believe Jesus is Lord, and know in your heart that the Father raised Him from the dead. That truth changes your whole perspective.

Will you declare that with your mouth? Will you speak it aloud? Will you proclaim Him as Lord and Savior over your life?

You don’t need a pastor to do that. You don’t need a priest. And you certainly don’t need me.

You need Jesus.

You can invite Him into your life right now—and I pray you do. My heart breaks for the lost, and lately I’ve felt particularly burdened for those who live their lives just like I used to—successful, independent, in control, and yet totally oblivious to the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ and how He changes everything. That was me. I was lost. I didn’t have this great hope. I didn’t have absolute assurance that I’d be spending eternity in heaven with Jesus Christ. I kept striving, looking at one thing after the next to fill me up: my job, my body, my relationships, you name it. Here's the thing: Nothing ever did because nothing compares to Jesus.

Jesus' love for us and His call for us to follow Him is summarized so clearly in one of my favorite worship songs, “O Come to the Altar”:

Are you hurting and broken within
Overwhelmed by the weight of your sin
Jesus is calling
Have you come to the end of yourself
Do you thirst for a drink from the well
Jesus is calling

O come to the altar
The Father's arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ

We get to come to the altar. We have access to God right here, right now. We can have a personal relationship with Him, and we can be saved. Every single one of us is welcome. This salvation isn’t for a select few— it’s for the broken and the hurting and the man and woman like you and me.

I’m praying for you. I’m praying you would know and love Jesus. I’m praying you would accept Him into your life and finally receive the peace and hope you’ve been searching for all along. I’m praying your eyes would see and your ears would be open to hear.

If you declare with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and you believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved!

What are you waiting for?

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Still have questions? I’d like to invite you to read these other resources:

• The Good News (Long Hollow Baptist Church)
• How to Know God Personally (Cru)
• What Must I Believe to Be Saved? (John Piper)

If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

For the Woman in the Wilderness

I have talked to a lot of you who right now are in the wilderness. You’re journeying through a really difficult time in your life, dragging a lot of baggage, a lot of dirt, a lot of mess behind you—and the end seems nowhere in sight.

My life feels pretty even-keeled right now, but I have been in your shoes before and I’ll be there again one day. Our lives are a constant ebb and flow. Whatever wilderness you’re in, this post is for you.

For the woman who is struggling to make end’s meet, who doesn’t know where her next paycheck will come from or how she’ll secure a reliable source of income, trust that there is hope.

For the woman who hates her job and longs for something different, know that you’re where you are for now with great purpose.

For the woman whose deepest desire is to be married, but she can’t seem to land a date, believe that your worth stems from something greater than your relationship status.

For the woman who tries again and again to bear children, yet each pregnancy test comes up negative, there is redemption for you.

For the woman who is chasing the next best job, the next highest title, the next largest salary, the next biggest house, you can stop your striving and find peace.

For the woman who believes she is not enough, know that He is.

Jesus is in your wilderness—He himself went through wilderness. He was tempted by Satan, and he needed to rely on His Father to get Him through it.

He actually quotes three very specific passages in Deuteronomy as he battles Satan.

"He humbled you by letting you go hungry; then He gave you manna to eat, which you and your fathers had not known, so that you might learn that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord." (Deuteronomy 8:3)

"Do not test the Lord your God as you tested Him at Massah." (Deuteronomy 6:16)

"Fear Yahweh your God, worship Him, and take your oaths in His name." (Deuteronomy 6:13)

He proclaimed His faith and spoke God’s name out loud—and the Devil left Him.

Jesus has been exactly where you are, and He gets your situation better than anyone else can. He understands pain, longing, betrayal, exhaustion, disappointment, hurt. He sees you. He is working on your behalf.

As I read through the Old Testament, I notice a theme. The Israelites turn away from God time and time again. Not only that, but they worship false gods. They stop teaching their children about Yahweh. They behave in the complete opposite way that God told them to.

God is not blind to their sin; He is a just God after all. His anger comes out, and He releases His wrath. But eventually, the Israelites cry out to God for deliverance. They ask for help. They ask for saving. They ask for a miracle.

Time and time again, God delivers.

Do not be afraid.

Do not be discouraged.

Be strong and courageous.

Stand up.

I am with you.

He is with those Israelites even when they screw things up.

My dear, He is with you, too.

The Promised Land looks like a dream. Milk and honey flow abundantly. The manna is so sweet. But the Israelites don’t get to this amazing place until they’ve spent 40 years journeying through the wilderness.

They consistently ask God to take them a different way. They’d rather be back in slavery in Egypt than deal with the difficulties of the wilderness any longer. But God has a plan and a vision. He sees the entirety of the situation, while they see just a speck.

He promised them redemption, and He doesn’t go back on His promises.

Do you believe that?

Do I believe that?

The redemption comes full circle with Jesus, who died for our sins and rose so that we might have eternal life. We’re not guaranteed a happy life, and we’re not even guaranteed tomorrow. But we can stake our lives on a greater hope and keep our heads held high.

I think lives would be transformed and our world would be a better place if we walked around knowing that truth in our core and living each day with that freedom in our hearts.

Let me put it in a slightly different manner. Remember the 2006 Rodney Atkins country song, “If You’re Going Through Hell”?

"If you're goin' through hell keep on going
Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you're there

I've been deep down in that darkness
I've been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different demons breathin' fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled I'd fall right into the trap
That they were layin'

But the good news is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holdin' out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one's that you've been draggin' for so long
You're on your knees might as well be prayin'
Guess what I'm sayin'..."

He goes on to sing, “face that fire, walk right through it.”

The song might sound cheesy (okay, it totally is), but that’s precisely what we get to do with Jesus! He gives us the strength to walk through fires. He takes us through wilderness before we can reach the Promised Land. We won’t necessarily find that Promised Land here on earth, but we can bank on the fact that it will be the most glorious kingdom we’ve ever set foot in when we do get there.

“Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

— Joshua 1:9

We hear this verse all the time. You’ve probably seen it written on artwork, journals, and coffee mugs. Take a second to recognize the full depth of it: The Lord is speaking directly to Joshua after Moses’ death. It’s now Joshua’s job to prepare the Israelites to cross the Jordan River into the Promised Land. God reminds Joshua He has been with them the entire 40 years in the wilderness, and He will continue to do so.

God doesn’t forget His promises. His Word is true! We need to remember that in our own lives right here today. We have to encourage one another in that. When we’re praying to Him, reading His Word, and listening to His call for our lives, He’s right there beside us. His Spirit dwells within us. We have nothing to fear.

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

Love With All Your Heart

I’m jittery. There are butterflies in my stomach, and I feel somewhat nauseated. My heart is pounding. My palms are slick. A slight sweat forms across my brow (and definitely in my armpits).

I’m totally enraptured. I can't focus on anything else but that one thing. That one person. I think my heart may have actually skipped a beat.

Do you know the feeling I’m talking about? Do you know that sense of excitement and adoration? It’s love, and there’s simply nothing else like it.

“Listen, Israel: the LORD our God, the LORD is One.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates…

Be careful not to forget the LORD who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the place of slavery.”

— Deuteronomy 6:4-9, 12

You’ve probably heard this passage before. It’s quoted all the time. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength.

But as I read it today, the words carried more weight for me. I saw the full context of this command for the first time, and I could grasp why it’s so very important.

Moses spoke these words after God brought the Israelites out of slavery and gave them a new life. He’s about to bring them to the Promised Land! Moses has been leading the people, and he’s instructing them to obey the Lord before they enter the land. He’s telling them the greatest command: Love God. This is no small task. He tells them to feel this deep in their hearts and souls. Teach your children. Wear this feeling proudly for all to see. Display it daily in the way you walk. Let your home be evidence of your love for God. And don’t ever, ever forget the darkness and the slavery that God delivered you from.

This is deep, life-changing, soul-enrapturing love.

This is the kind of love that changes your whole life and forms the core of your very being. This is called the greatest command for a reason.

What’s even more amazing is the fact that God loves us a million times deeper than the kind of love we’re capable of. We’re fickle humans; we love, and we forget. We love other things more than God. But God, He actually is love. He loved us so much that He made His son, Jesus, fully man to take on our sins and die the horrific death we deserved. He took on the cross for us. He rose to heaven and grants us eternal life!

Matt Chandler says,

“Listen to people talk all the time. They fell out of love. ‘I just don't love him anymore.’ In fact, the thing that's probably most frowned upon in predominant culture when it comes to love is someone who loves by will, what the Hebrews called ahava. It was a love of the will. It was ‘I'm not going anywhere.’ Don't romanticize that. That's not rose petals and violin and candles being lit and, ‘Oh, honey, I'm not going anywhere.’ All right? That's something on fire over here, a knife flung past your head, you're hunkered down, there's chaos everywhere, and you say, ‘I'm not going anywhere.’

Ahava says, ‘I've seen the ugly side of you and I'm staying.’”

Ahava is what Jesus did for us, and it’s the love we are privileged to receive if we accept it and believe it.

We have to love Him in return. That’s the greatest command.

I love my family. I love my friends. I love taking walks, I love drinking coffee, I love watching This Is Us. I love all these things, and I’ll talk about them all day long. Where does Jesus fit into that? Are we willing to talk about Him the way we talk about these lesser things? Do we love Him and look at Him with that jittery feeling we do when we’re in love?

I know I often fall short. I get way more excited about stuff that ultimately doesn’t matter. I let my other loves come before my love of God. There’s nothing wrong with loving your family, your friends, or even This Is Us. But when the order of our loves is upside down, we’ve made a mistake. We’ve forgotten the ultimate commandment.

With the world we live in, it’s so easy to get caught up in cultural commands. Man’s commands tell us to make money. Be successful. Find a spouse and have a nice family. Be healthy. Be pretty. Be strong. And make sure you have it “all together.” Achieve balance.

I don’t see those commands in the Bible. I see God telling us to love Him and to let our love for Him pour of our lives in everything we do.

Remembering the darkness that the Lord redeemed me from is what allows me to love Him first and foremost. He brought me, just like the Israelites, out of slavery. He made me into a new creation. Praise God for that. He loves me with ahava love. He changed my life; He called me into His Kingdom. I want to tell about His goodness all the day long!

My prayer is that I never forget the love God shows me and the freedom He gives me. I pray you won’t either. Think about the depths He called you out of and the new life He’s granted you. If we realize God loves us that much, how could we not love him with all our hearts, all our minds, and all our strength?

And if you are reading this and you’re thinking, I don’t know if I have been given a new life, then will you tell God that? Will you ask Jesus into your heart right here, right now--will you profess Him as Lord and Savior, and let His love transform you from the inside out?

Read my story. Read the stories of these beautiful women. Watch my pastor’s story. God is powerful, and He changes people’s lives every single day.

He loves you, and He wants your love in return.