Our Love Story

Charles, my fiance, is the love of my life. He is God’s greatest gift to me, and we cannot wait to get married this June. Our story is a direct testament to the grace of Jesus Christ. He is the sole reason we met, dated, and will soon come together as husband and wife.

Charles and I met on October 31, 2015, at a wedding in Waitsfield, Vermont. I was there to watch my roommate, Ashley, get married—my roommate who just happened to be Charles’ sister. Ashley and her husband, Dave, and I had become friends that year. She told me about her cute brother, Charles, but I didn’t think much of it. Charles knew about me, too, but neither of us knew what the Lord had in store.

We met on the dance floor somewhere between Randy Travis and Justin Bieber. And the rest is history.

Just kidding.

The truth is that while we did dance the night away, we didn’t think a relationship was going to come out of that night. Charles went back to the South; I went back to New York City. We talked and texted over the course of the next few months, and Charles came to visit Ashley and Dave—and me—in New York City that January of 2016. We went on our first date (the best first date of my life!) and had such a fun weekend just the two of us and double-dating. I loved showing him around my home.

Yet when we said goodbye, I pretty much assumed that was going to be the end of anything between us. Yes, we had fun. Yes, we had chemistry. Yes, he was interested. But I didn’t really know this guy. He didn’t live in the same city as me. And I was closed off to the idea of someone new.

I had been in previous relationships, and the summer before meeting Charles was the first time I felt okay in my singleness. I really wasn't expecting to meet someone or get married until my 30s. I truly wanted to be able to get to know myself better as a single woman, and I wanted to grow in my faith on my own. I was at peace. I had told myself I wouldn’t step into another relationship unless I knew where the guy’s head was at. Only if I knew that he had the same desire for marriage as I did and that he was just as strong in his belief in Christ as I was. Only then would I consider a relationship.

There’s no way that could be Charles, I told myself.

He lives in Savannah, Georgia, and I’m in New York City.

He’s younger than me.

He’s not going to want a real relationship or to pursue marriage.

What’s the point?

I was discounting Charles before I ever gave us a chance.

So when he called me up and asked me to come visit him in Savannah, I told him I’d have to think about it. Then I did what I do best: I wrote to him. I wrote him a 1,043-word email. Yes, really.

I explained how my past relationships crumbled. That I was thankful to God that He ended them but also much more cautious now to start anything new. I explained how God had been working in my heart and called me into a deep, personal relationship with Him. I told Charles that I knew what I desired in a relationship and how I wanted one leading to marriage.

And then I included a bulleted list of my reservations as to why a relationship between us wouldn’t work.

Yikes.

Before ending my email, I wrote:

What I do know, Charles, is you are the kind of man I have prayed for for so long. You love the Lord. You are kind and caring. You are respectful. Your family is more important to you than your work, although you work hard, too. You make me laugh! On top of all that, you’re super cute.

I sent that and waited for his reply. Waited to see if he still wanted me to visit, fully anticipating him to think I was way too much to handle.

Five days later, Charles' reply was in my inbox. I remember it so clearly because I read that email on my phone and, in the midst of a busy NYC subway, I started crying. He addressed all my concerns and then wrote words I'll never forget:

God has brought us together for a reason and I think it's too soon to end things. You are a beautiful, brave, kind, Christian woman. Your heart is for the Lord. You have all the traits I desire in a wife. I already thank God for putting you in my life, even if I am unable to see you ever again. You are a soldier for the Lord. I love and admire how you are able to use writing to bring glory to God and reveal Him to others. Your blog takes so much courage and I know it does great good. So keep it up!

Charles’ words brought me to tears, and I knew then that this could be something special. I went to visit him in Savannah a few weeks later. We shared our testimonies with one another, and we talked about how the Lord had led us both out of darkness and into the light. We shared our hopes and dreams, and for the first time, we started falling in love.

As we parted ways at the Savannah/Hilton Head International Airport, we decided to make things official as boyfriend and girlfriend. It felt like something out of a movie.

Much of our relationship really has been like something out of a movie. Charles loves me in a way I didn’t know was possible. He loves me deeply, gently, and selflessly.

The only way he’s able to love me like this is because he loves Jesus Christ first and foremost.

I have to be honest with you, though: not all of our relationship is like a movie. My Instagram feed reads like a highlight reel, and while, we love each other so much, we argue and bicker like any other couple. We get annoyed with each other. We struggle with the typical male/female tension points. He’s overly practical, too direct, too detached. I’m overthinking, too emotional, too sensitive.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

— Genesis 1:27

But how sweet is God to redeem those characteristics and set up the covenant of marriage between the (very different) male and female to complement one another. God created us to reflect His own image, and marriage is one of the many things He uses to further show us His glory and make us more like Him.

Whatever relationship stage you are in, God can use that to refine you. He will mold you, shape you, and draw you closer to Himself if you let Him in. God did that mightily in my dating experiences, my breakups, and my singleness. I didn’t realize at the time how much he was using those situations and seasons to transform me. I started this blog as a single woman, after a breakup that gave me the motivation I needed to put my words on the Internet. And this blog is one of the biggest reasons Charles continued to pursue me long-distance even when I wrote him a laundry list email of all my hesitations about why he wouldn’t measure up.

Before we ever met, he and I had to learn individually that we are only saved by grace through faith alone, not by our works or good deeds. We had to realize the depth of our own brokenness, our own sins, and how much we desperately need a savior in Jesus Christ. We had to individually come to the recognition that nothing in this world will ever truly fulfill—including marriage—but that a relationship with Christ brings us hope. And we had to see the value in dating God’s way. Friends and family had been praying for us before we even knew each other existed.

God was preparing my heart for Charles—and preparing his heart simultaneously.

So even when we butt heads, we have never stop being on the same team. I never for one second doubt that he is praying for me, praying to be the leader God has called him to be, and loving me with his whole heart—while putting God above me.

We have dated across five different states in two years, with nine months of both living in Nashville. Throughout those 730 days, we knew we could count on the other. We knew we were in this thing together. We knew we wanted to point the other person to Christ.

Charles encourages me and my giftings. He has helped me step into my true identity while healing from my eating disorder. And I do my best to speak life into him, respecting him and building him up. I remind him of the man God has called him to be.

When Charles asked me on December 21 to be his wife, the answer was a no-brainer. (For all of you wondering, yes, I did say “yes!”) We are so excited to spend the rest of our lives together. It’s not going to be perfect or without its trials, but it is going to be the absolute sweetest gift. We know God has been writing this story for a long time. Thanks for joining with us on the journey!

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

By Grace Through Faith

PART ONE.

I love this photo. If I had to use only one word to describe it, that word would be peace.

To me, it's the perfect depiction of peace, rest, and total awe at God's creation. The boats are docked for the night, the sun is gently setting, and a storybook pink glow is spreading across the water. 

This picture of peace is what I think of when I think about salvation. When I think about Jesus and calling Him the Lord and Savior of my life, I feel a deep sense of peace. I am assured of my salvation; I know where I’m going when this life ends.

I don’t have assurance because I did X amount of good deeds, read the Bible X minutes a day, or prayed X number of prayers. I don’t have assurance because I've been baptized, because I led X people to Christ, or because I write a blog about God.

Those things don’t save me. 

Those are what the Bible refers to as “works,” and while they can help lead me closer to God and grow in my relationship with Him, they are not the reason I have an eternal hope.

Salvation is not something I earn. It’s something God freely gives to me through faith by His grace.

If you want to look at one text in the Bible to understand this better, look no further than the book of Romans. Over and over again, Paul writes to Rome that the righteousness He has comes by faith in Jesus Christ. Grab a pen and circle how many times in Romans that Paul says “faith” or “by faith.” Paul is sharing the Gospel—that means Good News—with the people of Rome, and he does not mince words. Paul is clear that we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. 

Think about it; even children lie and manipulate. We all sin, even when we don’t want to. Our sin nature is a direct result of the fall—that time Adam and Eve listened to Satan and ate from the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden. Sin is innately within us. 

“Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin,in this way death spread to all people, because all sinned. In fact, sin was in the world before the law, but sin is not charged to a person’s account when there is no law. Nevertheless, death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who did not sin in the likeness of Adam’s transgression. He is a type of the Coming One.”

— Romans 5:12-14

But wait before you click away, feeling defeated—the story doesn’t stop there. 

Jesus is the One who is perfect, who has no sin within Him. He died the death that we deserve and rose again. He did this so that all might be reconciled to Him. The whole world! His message isn’t for the “good” people or those who seem holy. His message is for every single one of us.

Jesus came for me, while I was (and am) a sinner. While I was still dead in my trespasses, a slave to sin, He saved me. 

“ And you were dead in your trespasses and sins in which you previously lived according to the ways of this world, according to the ruler of the power of the air,the spirit now working in the disobedient. We too all previously lived among them in our fleshly desires, carrying out the inclinations of our flesh and thoughts, and we were by nature children under wrath as the others were also. But God, who is rich in mercy, because of his great love that he had for us, made us alive with Christ even though we were dead in trespasses. You are saved by grace! ”

— Ephesians 2:1-5

Salvation comes from accepting Christ and repenting, a big word that simply means to turn away from. When I repented, I turned away from my sin. I acknowledged that I am a sinner, and I will continue to sin even when I don’t want to. To accept Him, I declared Jesus Christ the Lord and Savior of my life. I invited Him in. I told Him my life is His. 

And by doing that, God’s Word tells me that I am saved. Saved by grace through faith, and this is not of ourselves but it is God’s gift. Not from works so that no one may boast. For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works that He prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:8-10)

When we accept Christ, we get to fully claim our new identity in Him. The Holy Spirit dwells within us. The old self is gone; the new self remains. Will we still struggle? Of course. Yet we’re no longer slaves to sin. We have a new identity as holy saints, as servants to the King. 

Think about the person you love the most: your spouse, your child, your sister or brother, your best friend. Picture them, and now think of everything you would do for them. You want them to know and feel how deeply you love them. You’d do anything for them.

The way Jesus loves us is like that, except to a greater degree like we can’t even imagine. So when we put our life in His hands, when we’re “saved,” good works are a natural outpouring of the love we have for Him. They’re not what guarantee we’ll one day spend eternity with God. They’re the visible, external fruit of the amazing transformation and hold He has on our hearts.  

“Do you have passion for Jesus Christ? Do you have a love affair for the Word of God?”

My pastor asked us those questions this Sunday. They're questions I have to ask myself on a regular basis. I have to continually ask God that I would become less and He would become more.

So ask yourself, what’s the fruit of my life?

Do you want to spend time with God, in prayer, in His Word, and living a life for Him? That’s what living a “saved” life looks like. It’s not about doing a certain number of good deeds to tip the scales in your favor. If you’re living a life based on deeds and good works, you’ll never be satisfied. You’ll never not be sinful, and you'll never know what's going to happen on the day you laid to rest.

Knowing we are saved doesn't mean we don't do good works or that we live our lives however we want because we're guaranteed to go to heaven. If we're truly a Believer, then we're fully living in our new identity. When we're saved, we can't help but do good works to serve God with every ounce of our being. 

“And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day. ”

— Genesis 1:31

God looked at His creation and declared it to be good. He looked at man and declared him to be very good. Did you catch that? He looks at you and me and says we are very good. He loves us in a way we cannot even comprehend. We are worth Jesus to Him—the only perfect man who ever lived, fully man and fully God. That is how much God loves us.

“But the gift is not like the trespass. For if by the one man’s trespass the many died, how much more have the grace of God and the gift which comes through the grace of the one man Jesus Christ overflowed to the many… So then, as through one trespass there is condemnation for everyone, so also through one righteous act there is justification leading to life for everyone. For just as through one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so also through the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous. The law came along to multiply the trespass. But where sin multiplied, grace multiplied even more so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace will reign through righteousness, resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

— Romans 5:15, 18-21

When we are Believers, we are no longer under the law but grace. Grace multiplied even more through Christ Jesus.

That is the most freeing, joyful news possible, friends. That should bring us peace that warms us to our very core. We get to have life beyond this one, a life with Jesus in eternity. And when craziness ensues in the world around us, we can be sure of the kingdom that awaits us. You're invited to His table. All you have to do is surrender to Christ. By grace through faith. 

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

He Is Risen

If you’ve been around Christians long enough, you’re probably heard or been asked, “Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus?”

Maybe you've even been asked, “Have you been saved?”

And maybe you’re wondering what on earth these people are talking about. I’m going to be as real as possible with you and try to explain that the best way I know how.

To me, having a personal relationship with Jesus means He is the center of your life. He is everything to you. You live your life for Jesus, to become more like Him every single day. You know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you’re going to spend eternity in heaven with Him. You believe He rose from the dead, and that one day, you too will be raised from the dead by Him.

Having a personal relationship with Jesus means more than saying God is real. It’s more than thinking there’s someone up in the clouds making the world go around. It’s more than believing in heaven and hell. And it’s a lot more than going to church every Sunday.

A personal relationship with Jesus Christ changes everything.

I know this because I’ve experienced that radical change in my own life.

A few years ago, while I believed in God—even the trinity of Jesus, the Father, and the Holy Spirit—I had no idea how much He could change my life. I didn’t grasp the magnitude of His presence or His actions in my life right now. 

I didn’t read the Bible on a daily basis, and I didn’t have a desire to. I didn’t go to Him in prayer. Even though I believed in God, I relied fully on myself. I didn't see myself as a sinner in need of salvation. I controlled my life, and by most people’s standards, I was pretty good at it. I was successful in every area. I was a good person. What did I have to worry about?

It took everything falling apart and me hitting rock bottom—plus years after that with God continually pursuing my heart—for me to finalize realize what I was missing and Who I needed. 

I needed Jesus. When I began to see that, my life began to change.

Grace came into the picture, and I finally realized I could experience a deep sense of hope every single day. I didn't have to be perfect because I have a God who is perfect, a God sees me as perfect in Him. 

I had to understand the full picture of the resurrection of Jesus Christ to enter into a saving relationship with Him. You see, the resurrection changes everything! Jesus was fully man and fully God. He was perfect; he never sinned. Yet He died the most horrible death imaginable for our sins. Because, like you, I am a sinner. We all are sinners in need of our Savior. 

Jesus died, and on the third day, He rose again! He was resurrected and ascended into heaven so that we might have eternal life. His blood was poured out for us. He was the ultimate sacrifice, and He died the death that we deserve. He is the only way we can have eternal life with Him, rather than eternal separation in hell. Our sins are what nailed Him to that cross. 

As my pastor proclaimed this Easter Sunday, Jesus loves us so much that He went to the cross. He is the only religious leader on the planet who rose from the dead. You can go around the world right now to find the remains of Mohammed, Confucius, Joseph Smith, and every other leader. But if you go to Israel and you look into Jesus’ tomb, you won’t see a thing. No bone, no remnant, no nothing. He is ALIVE. He is alive and active!

“He is not here! For He has been resurrected, just as He said. Come and see the place where He lay.”

— Matthew 28:6

We see in the book of Matthew, as well as the gospels of Mark, Luke, and John, that Jesus rose from the dead. Hundreds of eyewitnesses accounted this. And do you know who the first person the risen Jesus revealed Himself to? A woman. He showed up to Mary Magdalene, a woman who was once possessed by demons and who Jesus healed. She’s someone who society would have looked down upon in every way. Yet Jesus made Himself known to her. This is no ordinary man, and this is no ordinary story. Had a human written this story, written the Bible, I can guarantee you that Jesus would not reveal himself to a woman. Even more so, He wouldn’t have died. He would have instead been the typical hero we picture: strong and mighty and unable to die.

But that’s just it: Jesus is the strongest and the most mighty. And He hasn’t died—not really. He was resurrected on the third day, and He reigns over heaven and earth!

“He demonstrated this power in the Messiah by raising him from the dead and seating Him at His right hand in the heavens, far above every ruler and authority, every power and dominion, and every title given, not only in this age but also in the age to come. He put everything under His feet and appointed Him as head over everything for the church, which is His body, the fullness of the One who fills all things in every way.”

— Ephesians 1:20-22

We have access to God today through His word, through prayer, and through the Holy Spirit. Jesus is not some far-away God in some far-away place. He’s living and breathing in our lives right now. We can open up the Bible, read it aloud, and hear God speaking to us in this very moment.

God’s Word is so clear about what we must do in order to be saved. Baptism doesn’t save you. Repentance doesn’t save you. Going to church doesn’t save you. None of these works will give you a personal relationship with Jesus.

“If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”

— Romans 10:9

A personal relationship with Jesus—a saving relationship with Him—comes down to our faith. You know you are a sinner, you believe Jesus is Lord, and know in your heart that the Father raised Him from the dead. That truth changes your whole perspective.

Will you declare that with your mouth? Will you speak it aloud? Will you proclaim Him as Lord and Savior over your life?

You don’t need a pastor to do that. You don’t need a priest. And you certainly don’t need me.

You need Jesus.

You can invite Him into your life right now—and I pray you do. My heart breaks for the lost, and lately I’ve felt particularly burdened for those who live their lives just like I used to—successful, independent, in control, and yet totally oblivious to the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ and how He changes everything. That was me. I was lost. I didn’t have this great hope. I didn’t have absolute assurance that I’d be spending eternity in heaven with Jesus Christ. I kept striving, looking at one thing after the next to fill me up: my job, my body, my relationships, you name it. Here's the thing: Nothing ever did because nothing compares to Jesus.

Jesus' love for us and His call for us to follow Him is summarized so clearly in one of my favorite worship songs, “O Come to the Altar”:

Are you hurting and broken within
Overwhelmed by the weight of your sin
Jesus is calling
Have you come to the end of yourself
Do you thirst for a drink from the well
Jesus is calling

O come to the altar
The Father's arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ

We get to come to the altar. We have access to God right here, right now. We can have a personal relationship with Him, and we can be saved. Every single one of us is welcome. This salvation isn’t for a select few— it’s for the broken and the hurting and the man and woman like you and me.

I’m praying for you. I’m praying you would know and love Jesus. I’m praying you would accept Him into your life and finally receive the peace and hope you’ve been searching for all along. I’m praying your eyes would see and your ears would be open to hear.

If you declare with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and you believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved!

What are you waiting for?

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Still have questions? I’d like to invite you to read these other resources:

• The Good News (Long Hollow Baptist Church)
• How to Know God Personally (Cru)
• What Must I Believe to Be Saved? (John Piper)

If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.