6 Ways to Make Friends in a New City

We moved to Denver at the end of 2019, leaving behind three years of building up our community in Nashville. Colorado is a completely new environment for us, and we’re in the process of making it our home. We are creating new rhythms for our family and so thankful for this fresh start here. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of waking up to see the mountains each day!

Part of making this our home means making friends. But, how on earth do you do that as a stay-at-home mom? Or in my husband’s case, when you work a busy full-time job? 

I’m no longer sharing a commute with my roommate or chatting with my co-workers at lunch. In fact, my bestie happens to be about 10 months old and likes to nap twice a day. He’s a whole lot of fun, although it is a little hard when he can’t talk back to me (😉). 

Jesus, God himself, had friends—12 disciples in his core group. But three of those men, Peter, James, and John, were his best friends. They were present for moments that the other disciples were not, and they knew Jesus intimately. God demonstrates for us the importance of friendship and reminds us to “stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25) 

A word of hope if you feel lonely right now: God wants to be your friend.

It might sound cliche, but it’s true. You’ll always have a friend in Jesus. In fact, He said it himself:

“This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my father. You did not choose me, but I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce fruit and that you fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he will give you. This is what I command you: Love one another.” (John 15:12-17)

I find that so encouraging. We’re never alone when we have Christ.

Maybe you’re in a new place or a new season of life like me. So let’s get out there together! Here are six ways to make new friends:

1. Check out the local library.

Okay, the library has been my jam. If you’re a mom or dad, you’ve got to get in on the free weekday story time. My son adores the stories, music, and time with other littles. I’m loving the selection of books, audiobooks, and magazines, as well as the discounts on local museums, zoos, restaurants, and businesses. Our library facilitates a number of book clubs for various interests that I’d love to join once Charlie is a little older. Oh, and did I mention it’s all free? 

2. Get involved at your church.

We recently found our church home and are excited about all the opportunities to form community. I’ve been attending a weekly Bible study while my son hangs out in the nursery. There are a lot of other groups at all times of the day and for all life stages, such as Celebrate Recovery, Financial Peace University, and even a Bible journaling class. Being involved in the local church is such a core part of our lives as Christ followers, and how awesome we get to make friends that way, too.

3. Sign up for the YMCA.

You can sign up for any gym, but I really like the YMCA for its plethora of programs and Christ-fueled mission. A family membership is super reasonable and includes the gym, workout classes, a pool, and more, depending on your location. They also offer childcare, which is great if you’re a mom of young children. I’m looking forward to taking some yoga and barre classes and enrolling our son in swim lessons this summer. 

4. Take a class or join a group.

Consider taking a class for something you’ve always wanted to learn. Piano? Cooking? Knitting? There’s a class for that. I’ve had my eye on a pasta-making class at Whole Foods for a while now, and what better friends are out there than fellow Italian food lovers? Eventbrite has no shortage of local events and groups, and I’ve also heard good things about Meetup.com.   

5. Volunteer.

Volunteering is good for you and good for others. Your church is likely connected to various ministries that can use your help. You can also reach out to your local food bank, pregnancy care center, or parks department for more opportunities. Meet others, and live out God’s command to love your neighbor. It’s been a long time since I’ve volunteered, but I’m ready to use my time and giftings to give back.

6. Hang out at the park.

If you have little ones, take them to the park. They’ll get some fresh air and physical activity, while you can chat with other parents. This one may take some stepping outside of your comfort zone. But I’d be willing to bet the other moms or dads are looking for friends just like you. 

How do you make new friends? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below.

My Word of the Year

My nine-month-old son wakes up every morning full of joy. He still cries and fusses most nights for at least a little bit, but come morning, he is happy. Come morning, he is excited and ready to start the day. He’s babbling and rolling all around in his crib. As soon as he sees his mom or dad, he squeals with excitement. His delight is contagious.

When was the last time you woke up like that?

It’s certainly not my tendency.

Lately I seem to wake up feeling exhausted, not wanting to get out of bed, it’s cold, it’s dark, why was my son up so many times last night, I’m still tired, I’m not ready for this day…

The list rolls on.

What if I started the day with a grateful heart?

I’ve noticed that attitude is everything. I can choose to be thankful. I can choose to be positive. I can choose my reaction to situations. I can choose to worship God, even when I’m tired or anxious or simply don’t feel like it.

I too easily allow my hormones, the amount of sleep I got, and how much coffee I drank to affect my entire mood. I quickly snap at my husband with words that cut deep. I complain about my work as a stay-at-home mom, even though it’s a job I love and know I’ve been called to. I grumble at the dirty dishes and laundry piles. I berate myself not writing enough, not exercising enough, and even not praying enough. My peace is quickly shaken by my circumstances.

For the past four years, I’ve picked a word as we head into a new year. Rather than set a new year’s resolution, I’ve chosen a word that I’ve prayed about. It’s a word that I’ve felt God put on my heart. Sure enough, for four years, as each of those 12 months go by, I’ve seen God use that word in my life and show me more of Him through it.

That’s why, this year, I’m choosing a word that’s been right in front of me for a long time, and I’m finally claiming it for myself as we head into this new decade.

Joy.

For years, I’ve had a virtual sticky note on my desktop with James 1:2-12:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”

I recently took a moment to read this when I opened my laptop. James said we should consider sufferings, of any kind, as pure joy. What was he talking about? How could he say that?

James knows that all who would read the Word of God would have the story of Jesus.

We would be offered eternal hope in the Kingdom of God, saved by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8). James understood that no matter what we faced on this earth, we as believers in Christ would have eternal life to look forward to. We’d have an unshakeable hope, a future that’s secure, and victory over the enemy.

That’s pure joy.

I want that, and I’m committing to choose a life of joy in the Lord this year. It’s time I live in light of my salvation, remembering all God has done for me. Living in light of His promises as the free woman and the new self that I am. Maybe it’s time for you to do the same.

Colossians 3:1-17 says:

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. or you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

That passage is worth meditating on, friends. I’m choosing joy because I want to put off anger and obscene talk. I want to fight back against the lies of the enemy who tells me I’m not good enough and who tries to take away my contentment. I want to put on a compassionate heart, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Forgiveness. Love. I want to give thanks to God in all that I do.

So this year I’m praying for continual joy in this life God has given me and called me to. Pure, unadulterated joy in all circumstances. I have a living hope! And I’m ready to rejoice in it, with inexpressible and glorious joy.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. You are being guarded by God’s power through faith for a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. You rejoice in this, even though now for a short time, if necessary, you suffer grief in various trials so that the proven character of your faith—more valuable than gold which, though perishable, is refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him; though not seeing him now, you believe in him, and you rejoice with inexpressible and glorious joy, because you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”

— 1 Peter 1:3-9

Giving Thanks Before the Miracle

Over the past few weeks, I have spent a lot of time thinking about how much I am praising God for bringing us into a new chapter of life. He’s given our family a fresh start, and we are overwhelmed with gratitude. He is good, gracious, and generous. He gives us far more than we deserve, and I want thanksgiving and praise to be the rhythm of my life, always.

I want to say, without hesitation, “God, you are so good.”

I want to say that when faced with struggle. Those struggles and difficulties can take many forms. In our family, we struggled when my husband worked long hours on a night shift. We struggled with exhaustion, anger, and questioning God.

In the midst of every situation, Lord, let me shout to the heavens and all the ends of the earth that you are good. You are faithful. You are forever working for Your glory.

This fall, I was involved with an incredible mom’s group in Nashville called MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). The group was a wonderful opportunity to meet and befriend moms in a similar life stage, and it was also a chance to study the Word with each other. During each meeting, we’d discuss a different “I am” statement about God in the Bible. (If you’re interested in learning more, I’d encourage you to check out Lysa Tyerkeurst’s Bible study Finding I Am.)

One week stood out to me in particular as we studied John 6—Jesus feeding the 5,000. It’s where Jesus boldly declares, “I am the bread of life.” Let’s take a look:

After this, Jesus crossed the Sea of Galilee (or Tiberias). A huge crowd was following him because they saw the signs that he was performing by healing the sick. Jesus went up a mountain and sat down there with his disciples.

Now the Passover, a Jewish festival, was near. So when Jesus looked up and noticed a huge crowd coming toward him, he asked Philip, “Where will we buy bread so that these people can eat?” He asked this to test him, for he himself knew what he was going to do.

Philip answered him, “Two hundred denarii worth of bread wouldn’t be enough for each of them to have a little.” One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, said to him, “There’s a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish—but what are they for so many?”

Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.”

There was plenty of grass in that place; so they sat down. The men numbered about five thousand. Then Jesus took the loaves, and after giving thanks he distributed them to those who were seated—so also with the fish, as much as they wanted.

When they were full, he told his disciples, “Collect the leftovers so that nothing is wasted.” So they collected them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces from the five barley loaves that were left over by those who had eaten. When the people saw the sign he had done, they said, “This truly is the Prophet who is to come into the world.” Therefore, when Jesus realized that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, he withdrew again to the mountain by himself.

I want to stop right there for a moment. We see that a huge crowd is following Jesus. John writes that there are 5,000 men. When you factor in all the women and children, there are actually more like 15,000 people present. For my Nashville friends, that’s like an almost full Bridgestone Arena during a Predators game. It’s no small number! And it seems that the crowd is relatively subdued. There’s no mention of riots or discourse. The people are following Jesus, submitting to his authority and power. They can tell this man is different. This man is God.

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity”

— 1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV)

Jesus tests Phillip—He already knows what He is going to do. I love that He turns to a young boy for help. This boy has two fish and five loaves, which Jesus uses to perform this miracle. You are never too young in age or too new in your faith to be used by God.

Through the other gospel writers, we learn that Jesus has previously withdrawn with his disciples to rest and pray. He’s spent time with the Father before addressing the crowd. He has compassion on them because they are like sheep without a shepherd. He teaches them about the kingdom of God. He also cures their sick.

Notice what happens before Jesus’ miracle. After spending time with God and welcoming the crowd, He has everyone sit down. Then He gives thanks (verse 11).

Matthew says, “He took the five loaves and the two fish, and looking up to heaven, He blessed them.” (Matthew 14:19)

Next, He takes the loaves and fish, and He miraculously creates more food. This was something that I never fully understood until a few months ago, when our pastor in Nashville, Jeremy Rose, preached on Luke 9. He taught us that Jesus created more fish and bread because He is our Creator. He created the heavens and the earth, as well as everything in them. (Genesis 1:1) Jesus shows His power and prayed first to the Father to let everyone know this power came from Him.

We cannot place limitations on what God can do. Jesus can be trusted. He uses what the disciples have, and He makes it into what He needs. Jesus can truly do anything. He is our provider.

After feeding the crowd—which remember is about the size of a packed Bridgestone Arena—the disciples collected 12 baskets of leftovers. It’s no coincidence the 12 disciples gather 12 baskets of leftovers. We as God’s disciples are called to make more disciples. (Thanks, Pastor Robby, for that insight!)

Evening arrives, and Jesus’ disciples set off across the lake for Capernum. Jesus had not yet joined them. They’ve sailed about three or four miles, it’s dark, and a storm is coming. Suddenly, Jesus is walking across the water toward them. Seriously, is there anything this man can’t do? (Nope. He’s God!) The story continues:

When they found him on the other side of the lake, they asked him, “Rabbi, when did you get here?”

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill. 27 Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.”

 Then they asked him, “What must we do to do the works God requires?”

Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”

So they asked him, “What sign then will you give that we may see it and believe you? What will you do? Our ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written: ‘He gave them bread from heaven to eat.’”

Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven, but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.”

“Sir,” they said, “always give us this bread.”

Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all those he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”

At this the Jews there began to grumble about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” They said, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven’?”

“Stop grumbling among yourselves,” Jesus answered. “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day. It is written in the Prophets: ‘They will all be taught by God.’ Everyone who has heard the Father and learned from him comes to me. No one has seen the Father except the one who is from God; only he has seen the Father. Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life. I am the bread of life. Your ancestors ate the manna in the wilderness, yet they died. But here is the bread that comes down from heaven, which anyone may eat and not die. I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever. This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.”

Then the Jews began to argue sharply among themselves, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?”

Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.” He said this while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum.

This passage fires me up. There’s so much goodness we can take away from Jesus' miracle. He is our great provider, the bread of life. He is worthy of praise in every situation.

I need to be constantly reminded of this truth.

In 2018, two months into our marriage, my husband started a job working nights—consistently 60 to 80 hours a week, including many major holidays. The very same weekend he started his job, we found out we were expecting! (You can read more about that here.) For the next 16 months, he got up every day and went into work at that job. Through our first year of marriage, through my pregnancy, and through our son’s newborn stage, he went to work at a job that slowly sucked the life out of him and greatly challenged our relationship. Ultimately, it challenged our trust in God.

When he got a new job—with a normal day schedule—this past October, we praised God with all our might. We cried tears of joy for His provision of a great job, great company, and great location. We felt God writing a new chapter. We felt peace and excitement.

For the first time in over a year, I felt like I could exhale. This was an opportunity for our family to finally be together and experience quality time with one another. We could make friends together. Get involved with church. Sleep and wake up at the same time. I felt so much relief and gratitude with this job opportunity.

And then I felt conviction.

What if God didn’t provide this job? What if He kept us in that difficult season? Would I still be able to say, God is good? Would I still praise Him?

I pondered that a lot. I so wanted things to work out my way, to go according to my plan. I felt like a year and a half was too long for that struggle to go on. I continually asked God why, and I began to doubt Him.

But Jesus’ actions in John 6 showed me that God is worthy of all praise—in all situations.

Jesus is our provider. He thanked the Father before the miracle. He spent time alone with Him in prayer before feeding the crowd. He gave glory to God before pursuing His ministry.

“Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.”

— James 1:2-4 (CSB)

I want to have a heart like Christ. I want to thank my dad above for all He that He provides, even when it looks a lot different than what I desire. Jesus is the bread of life, and He alone can care for our every need.

God knew I needed this hard season to help me trust Him more. He used it to strengthen my faith in Him, as well as to strengthen my marriage. I now have more empathy for others. I have also seen firsthand that the deep satisfaction and contentment of my soul can only come from Christ alone. I won’t find that in my marriage, my children, my home, my work, my bank account, or even in my sleep schedule.

Only in the bread of life.

A Weary World Rejoices

Advent is a season of waiting. In fact, the very definition of advent explains it perfectly.

Advent (n.): the arrival of a notable person, thing, or event; the coming or second coming of Christ.

If you’re like for me, you probably hate to wait. But in Advent, our waiting is special. It’s different. We wait for the arrival of Christ, knowing that He has already come as a man, died as the spotless lamb, and risen for us so that we might have eternal life. During Advent, we remember what it was like for the world thousands of years ago, waiting on the hope of the Messiah—a baby boy, born in a manger amongst animals in quiet Bethlehem.

We are waiting for peace and joy, and the promise of our Savior come alive. We’re tired of the death, destruction, and rampant sin in this world. Whether we realize it or not, we need Jesus.

I’m blown away by how God orchestrated the birth of Jesus. He used Mary and Joseph, and He planned every detail of His coming. He used ordinary people with incredible obedience for His extraordinary purpose.

Do you stop to think God wants to do the same thing with us ordinary people today?

Waiting feels like such a chore. It seems tedious and unnecessary. With all the technological advances around us, why on earth would we want to wait? We’re almost always rushing toward something. (Maybe I’m only speaking for myself here.) Yet Scripture instructs us, both in the Old and New Testaments, to do that very thing: to wait.

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

— Isaiah 40:31

We’re told to stay dependent on God, and He will honor our waiting. I’ve written before that waiting feels passive. Weak. Helpless. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. It’s one of the strongest and most courageous choices you can make.

Here’s the deal: We are all always waiting for something, whether it’s for a job or a home, for marriage or a baby. We will wait throughout our lives, ultimately waiting for the return of the Kingdom or eternal life beyond this earth. Most of our life is waiting.

Waiting means choosing to say every single day, Jesus is better.

Don’t forget: Our God is a Crock-Pot kind of guy. He’s not a microwave God. He is good and faithful. He fulfills His promises to us. But He works slowly—often much more slowly than we would like.

“Dear friends, don’t overlook this one fact: With the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. The Lord does not delay his promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance.

But the day of the Lord will come like a thief; on that day the heavens will pass away with a loud noise, the elements will burn and be dissolved, and the earth and the works on it will be disclosed. Since all these things are to be dissolved in this way, it is clear what sort of people you should be in holy conduct and godliness as you wait for the day of God and hasten its coming. Because of that day, the heavens will be dissolved with fire and the elements will melt with heat. But based on his promise, we wait for new heavens and a new earth, where righteousness dwells.”

— 2 Peter 3:8-13

When you feel like God is moving slowly in your life, take heart. He does not delay His promise! His timing is perfect. He works in our waiting, and He is patient with us.

Advent reminds us of the beauty of waiting. God began telling His people about Jesus a full millennium and a half before His birth. God really was before all things, is in all things, and is the future of all things. He is making everything new, and His thread of redemption is woven throughout history.

The precious baby Jesus grew into the man who showed the world a new way, who died the death we deserve, and who rose again to offer redemption for all people! Christmas is the beginning of the story of Jesus, but Christmas continues with us. We wait in excited anticipation of Him. We get to wait in the hope of the Gospel, knowing He is true and faithful. Thank you, Father, for sending Your Son! Thank you for preparing the way.

“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to people he favors!”

— Luke 2:14