I started this morning in a real mood. Do you know the kind I’m talking about? I felt like immediately things weren’t going my way, and that before the sun was up, it was going to be a long day.

It’s amazing how the silliest little things can set us off track. Like I’m just looking for a fight, looking for something to push me over the edge.

Yikes.

What do you do in those moments?

I’m sad to say that I let myself stew for a while. I let myself feel annoyed, frustrated, angry. I even let out a few tears. I was honestly feeling sorry for myself. And for what? For the fact that the morning hadn’t gone exactly my way?

Life wasn’t meant to go our way. In fact, Jesus tells us that He is the way, the truth, and the life. When I’m caught up in my own way, I need to remember Christ. I need to confess my frustration, my pettiness, my anger. I need to surrender it all to my Father above, who is always ready to forgive me and love me through my brokenness.

This week marked the start of a new Bible study with my church on the book of Jonah. We’re going through Priscilla Shirer’s book, so aptly subtitled “Navigating A Life Interrupted.” A quick summary:

Interruptions. They're aggravating. Sometimes infuriating. But how we handle interruptions actually tell us more about ourselves. What do we do when God interrupts our lives? Many times, like Jonah, we run! Priscilla redefines interruption and shows that interruption is actually God's invitation to do something beyond our wildest dreams. When Jonah was willing to allow God to interrupt his life, the result was revival in an entire city.

This year has brought more interruptions and unplanned circumstances than I could have ever anticipated. We’re all navigating a global pandemic as well as unrest in our country. This year, my husband and I have been sharing one car. I’ve honestly been feeling bitter about it, even though I know we are still so fortunate and privileged to have it. Also this year, the various groups and activities that my son and I were involved in have changed to virtual—hardly the same as in-person when you're trying to make friends and have a little bit of adult conversation. And one of the biggest surprises of my year was a falling-out with my best friend. I’m still not sure what went wrong in our relationship. So, yes, I’m familiar with interruptions.

And I’m sure you are, too. Health problems, financial difficulties, job changes or disappointments, broken relationships, unmet desires and expectations.

Interruptions—whether good or bad—are nothing new. Throughout the Bible, we see men and women face unexpected situations. Noah was asked to build an ark before God sent a flood over the earth. A teenage Mary was asked to be the mother of Christ, and she humbly obeyed. Jesus told Peter and Andrew to leave behind their fishing nets because he would make them “fishers of men.” Saul—persecutor of Christians—is confronted by God and becomes Paul, one of the greatest missionaries of all time.

As believers, it’s so comforting that we have this “great cloud of witnesses” who’ve gone before us, and the Holy Spirit within us to encourage us.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…”

— Hebrews 12:1

The question is: What are we going to do with interruptions? What are we going to do when life doesn’t go our way? Or even when we’re given good things but they’re unexpected?

Satan wants to use them to bring us down by making us question God. He wants us to have a negative attitude and long for control apart from God. The enemy’s subtle tactics will slowly but surely distract us, disable us, and ultimately divide us from God.

We need to be willing to fight for contentment. We need to fight for our joy and trust that God is for us, no matter what our circumstances look like.

I’m preaching this to myself as I write it here. Are you with me?

The song below from Bethel Music is on repeat in my home these days. I need the truth of the Gospel constantly in my mind when the world wants to tell me the opposite. It’s the only way I can have joy and peace. So, “from the moment that I wake up, until I lay my head, I will sing of the goodness of God.”

The best vacation of my life ended one week ago. After nine wonderful days in Ireland, my body is finally re-adjusted to the Eastern timezone, and I’ve had a few days to reflect on the time that was.

I loved spending time with relatives, and I loved my lack of phone service. I didn’t check my work email at all. I checked my personal email maybe twice. I sent a few iMessages and made two FaceTime calls, but that was it. I disconnected as best as I could. So while I had a jam-packed trip with plenty to do and plenty of people to see, I actually felt like I had a chance to breathe for the first time in a long time.

I could finally exhale.

I could relax. I had a break from real life, and with 3,000 miles between me and NYC, I could more easily see how gosh-darn hectic my life in the city really is.

I believe that right now New York City is precisely where God has me. He uses us where we are, with what we have, regardless of where that puts us on the map. Our God is not in the accidents business; He knows what He’s doing. I see Him doing big things here, within my church, my community, my apartment, and even this blog.

It's why I want to continue to invest and root myself in this place, as I have been doing the past three years, for the amount of time I have left here—however long that may be. But the relief I felt and the weight that was lifted off of me by a little more than a week in Ireland is a clear sign that I need to cultivate more rest in my regular rhythms of life in New York.

My relatives in Ireland live life more simply. I recognize this is partly because they live in a more rural area than I do. Yet ultimately, they know what’s important: family, friends, faith. They cook together and spend hours gathered together, eating the freshest farm-to-table food you’ve ever tasted, drinking cups upon cups of Barry’s tea, and telling stories that will make you laugh until your side hurts.

That’s not to say they don’t work. In fact, the Irish work very hard. They have their day jobs and still many come home to tend to their livestock and farms at night. A major difference I noticed between their lives and mine is that they leave work at work. Each home is a little oasis. They don’t have their phones, tablets, and computers out all the time. They're aren't glued to their screens. (Unless they’re 15 years old and using Snapchat.) They were present. So I was present, too.

I am working on being more in tune to the current moment and living a simpler life in New York. I pray each activity I do is life-giving and allows me to become more like Christ. I want to start focusing on the activities that help me grow into a more Godly woman, and the activities that I truly enjoy, not the ones that I think I have to do in order to look accomplished or to be accepted. I will spend my time with friends who I love, and who love me in return. Friends who challenge me and call me out when I need it. Friends who encourage me and who I can in turn speak truth to.

If there’s anything else Ireland taught me, it’s how to give up control. Letting go of control was what my week in the countryside was all about. I had to surrender my wants and my plans—to my family, my hosts, the weather, the travel. I had to be flexible and adapt. People say never give up, but in reality giving up can be a very good thing. And what do you know? Letting go lets me enjoy the present, too. (Those Irish sure know what they're doing.)

Unpredictability and shattered plans are two of my least favorite things. So, yes, there were certainly times in Ireland when I wasn’t as flexible as I wished I would have been. I remember a Sunday night when my sister and I were hungry and couldn’t find a place open for dinner after 5 p.m. I became, ahem, hangry. How could nothing be open? I resolved myself to trail mix and a Guinness. But my dad, being the logical one (thanks Dad!), asked our hotel concierge if there was any food left in the kitchen—within minutes, he arrived with freshly made sandwiches for my sister and me. Problem solved. I didn’t need to control the situation or figure out the perfect solution. It all worked out.

I didn’t plan out my itinerary, or my social calendar, or even my blog posts while in Ireland. For 90 percent of the time, I went with the flow—and it was good.

I let other people take the wheel (figuratively and literally, no way am I driving on the left side of the road). I let people pick out the restaurants and coffee shops and attractions.

Relinquishing my control was healthy and provided the opportunity to be aware, to enjoy the now.

From where I stand today, I am the exact same woman I was before going on vacation—except I feel brighter and refreshed. I didn’t lose myself. My experience was probably the opposite. I gained clear perspective and freedom, something I set out to do at the beginning of this year. I think God wants the same thing for each of us, to give up. Give up our worries, our fears, our concerns. Give over our hopes and our dreams. I have a hard time doing that. It requires a great deal of courage, and a whole lot of trust to know that having His hand in control is way better than my own.

The Lord is continuing to show me the fruits of surrender, the fruits of letting go. He did so with my new apartment, with my new relationship, and now with Ireland. He’s helping me to loosen my grip and enjoy all He has provided for me in this very moment.

Giving up means I can let go of the things that end up controlling me. My life looks simpler, and my day-to-day includes more rest, more restoration, more presence in the present. I can let go and let God.

I’m going to need you to check in with me on this, though, okay? I can guarantee situations will crop up that test my new-found ease and trust. Your prayers for continued surrender are always appreciated.

My own prayer as of late is short but sweet:

God, don’t give me what I want but give me Your best.

I’m giving up to get His best, to be fully engaged in the life He's given me right now, and I am more than okay with that.

If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life.

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.