Is It Right for You to Be Angry?

“Jonah was greatly displeased and became furious. He prayed to the LORD: ‘Please, LORD, isn’t this what I thought while I was still in my own country? That’s why I fled toward Tarshish in the first place. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger, abounding in faithful love, and one who relents from sending disaster. And now, LORD, take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.”

“But the LORD replied, ‘Is it right for you to be angry?’” (Jonah 4:1-4)

Most of us have heard the story of Jonah and the big fish. But not as many of us know how his story continues. Jonah has spent three days in the belly of the fish, finally delivered God’s message to Ninevah, and now he throws a fit that God is going to do exactly what he expected Him to do all along. He feels like traveling to Ninevah was a waste of his time. Not to mention, the Ninevites were evil, Jonah’s worst enemy. How could God save them? 

So Jonah sets up camp alone on a hill beside Ninevah. God provides a plant to give him shade. And when God appoints a worm to kill the plant the next day, Jonah is angry enough to die.

“Then God asked Jonah, ‘Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?’

‘Yes, it’s right!’ he replied. ‘I’m angry enough to die!’ (Jonah 4:9)

Jonah cares more about a plant—that God created, and God took away—than a sinful city of 120,000 people. Ultimately, Jonah cares more about himself. And that’s the end of Jonah’s story. I don’t know what happens after this incident. 

What I do know is that I’m a lot like Jonah sometimes. I’ve been studying his story this fall using Priscilla Shirer’s bible study book, and God keeps reminding me that I’m right there in the mess with Jonah. 

My pulse quickens, my eyes get hot with tears, and I start to sweat. I feel like I’m going to explode. Anger can stem from the silliest little things to the biggest scary things to everything in between. Can you relate?

Maybe you’re angry your 1-year-old still won’t sleep through the night or that your child clogged the toilet (again). Maybe you’re angry about COVID and the election. Maybe you’re angry with a friend or family member. Maybe you’re angry that your boss (still) won’t give you that promotion. Maybe you’re angry about your health. Maybe you’re angry that your life doesn’t look the way you always expected it would. 

Whatever is causing your anger, please know that you are not alone. We all experience anger. We’re sinful humans, and we are bound to have negative feelings in this life. It’s in those moments that we need to turn to scripture. We need the truth of God to wash over us and remind us of who we are in Him.

I’ve been wanting to write this post for some time because I know there are so many others out there, particularly other moms, who feel the same way. We carry so much “mom guilt” about our anger. We consider this the greatest job in the world, and we feel awful that sometimes we take it for granted or lash out in anger. I want to write this because I think it’s time for us to be honest, repent, and then turn the page moving forward. 

While I might turn angry quickly, God does not. God is slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. (Here are four verses that proclaim this truth.) 

“...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The law is not against such things. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passion and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” (Galatians 5:22-26)

God warns us that outbursts of angry are a work of the flesh (Galatians 5:20). He calls us to love our neighbor as ourself (Galatians 5:14), to live at peace.

We can only do this through the grace of Christ. We need God’s patience to reign in our hearts. We need His example of compassion and great love when He went to the cross for us. So, too, we must crucify our own flesh with its passions and desires. 

This is not an easy task!

It’s an ever-evolving process. I have to keep trusting in God and surrendering my anger to Him. He is the living water, and He offers an overflowing well of joy and peace for me if I choose to receive it.

Below are some questions I’m pondering as I examine my own anger and whether it’s right for me to be angry. I hope they’re helpful for you as well. 

1. Is this a righteous anger or a self-righteous anger?

2. Does whatever makes me angry also make God angry?

3. Can I reframe and see the blessing in this?

4. Am I willing to let Him soften my heart if I’m still angry? Will I turn to God and trust Him?

A few books that might also be helpful to read are Emotions: Can You Trust Them? by Dr. James Dobson, For the Tough Times by Max Lucado, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst, and True Feelings by Carolyn Mahaney.

Draw near to the Lord, and He will draw near to you (James 4:8). 

When Things Don't Go Your Way

I started this morning in a real mood. Do you know the kind I’m talking about? I felt like immediately things weren’t going my way, and that before the sun was up, it was going to be a long day.

It’s amazing how the silliest little things can set us off track. Like I’m just looking for a fight, looking for something to push me over the edge.

Yikes.

What do you do in those moments?

I’m sad to say that I let myself stew for a while. I let myself feel annoyed, frustrated, angry. I even let out a few tears. I was honestly feeling sorry for myself. And for what? For the fact that the morning hadn’t gone exactly my way? 

Life wasn’t meant to go our way. In fact, Jesus tells us that He is the way, the truth, and the life. When I’m caught up in my own way, I need to remember Christ. I need to confess my frustration, my pettiness, my anger. I need to surrender it all to my Father above, who is always ready to forgive me and love me through my brokenness.

This week marked the start of a new Bible study with my church on the book of Jonah. We’re going through Priscilla Shirer’s book, so aptly subtitled “Navigating A Life Interrupted.” A quick summary:

Interruptions. They're aggravating. Sometimes infuriating. But how we handle interruptions actually tell us more about ourselves. What do we do when God interrupts our lives? Many times, like Jonah, we run! Priscilla redefines interruption and shows that interruption is actually God's invitation to do something beyond our wildest dreams. When Jonah was willing to allow God to interrupt his life, the result was revival in an entire city.

This year has brought more interruptions and unplanned circumstances than I could have ever anticipated. We’re all navigating a global pandemic as well as unrest in our country. This year, my husband and I have been sharing one car. I’ve honestly been feeling bitter about it, even though I know we are still so fortunate and privileged to have it. Also this year, the various groups and activities that my son and I were involved in have changed to virtual—hardly the same as in-person when you're trying to make friends and have a little bit of adult conversation. And one of the biggest surprises of my year was a falling-out with my best friend. I’m still not sure what went wrong in our relationship. So, yes, I’m familiar with interruptions.

And I’m sure you are, too. Health problems, financial difficulties, job changes or disappointments, broken relationships, unmet desires and expectations.  

Interruptions—whether good or bad—are nothing new. Throughout the Bible, we see men and women face unexpected situations. Noah was asked to build an ark before God sent a flood over the earth. A teenage Mary was asked to be the mother of Christ, and she humbly obeyed. Jesus told Peter and Andrew to leave behind their fishing nets because he would make them “fishers of men.” Saul—persecutor of Christians—is confronted by God and becomes Paul, one of the greatest missionaries of all time.

As believers, it’s so comforting that we have this “great cloud of witnesses” who’ve gone before us, and the Holy Spirit within us to encourage us.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us…”

— Hebrews 12:1

The question is: What are we going to do with interruptions? What are we going to do when life doesn’t go our way? Or even when we’re given good things but they’re unexpected? 

Satan wants to use them to bring us down by making us question God. He wants us to have a negative attitude and long for control apart from God. The enemy’s subtle tactics will slowly but surely distract us, disable us, and ultimately divide us from God. 

We need to be willing to fight for contentment. We need to fight for our joy and trust that God is for us, no matter what our circumstances look like. 

I’m preaching this to myself as I write it here. Are you with me? 

The song below from Bethel Music is on repeat in my home these days. I need the truth of the Gospel constantly in my mind when the world wants to tell me the opposite. It’s the only way I can have joy and peace. So, “from the moment that I wake up, until I lay my head, I will sing of the goodness of God.”