Last fall, I bought a pair of Madewell jeans, easily the most expensive jeans I’ve ever purchased. They were perfect. High-rise, skinny legs, dark wash, contrast stitching, and a slight crop at the ankle. They had these “magic pockets” that made everything look smooth and sleek, not to mention some extra stretch in the cotton so I could move without feeling restricted. “Legs-for-days” was how they were advertised.

I discovered them at the back of the store on the sale rack; even still, I had to decide whether I could swing this purchase. I think my internal monologue went something like:

Hmm, they were originally $128. Now they’re marked down 20 percent. They are so comfortable. They look great on me. I’ll wear them all the time, so my cost per use is going to be low. Yes, they’re totally worth it. Okay, I’m doing it!

I handed over my card to the saleswoman, and within seconds I walked away with my first pair of designer denim.

I bought them for a price. I knew I wouldn’t be able to buy other clothes that month or even the next month. This was splurge purchase for me, and I had to make them worth it.

For 12 solid months, those jeans were totally worth it. But now, they no longer fit. It’s time time to remove them from my wardrobe and pass them on.

Maybe you could care less about jeans. Maybe you think I’m crazy for spending that much money on fashion. (And maybe I am.) But more than likely, you have saved for something at some point in your life. You’ve made a big purchase. A new iPhone. A car. Sports equipment for your kiddos.

Or maybe you’re trying to simply make it through the week, stretching every dime to keep a roof over your head, pay those bills, and put dinner on the table each night.

All these things have a cost. We buy them for a price, and we have to weigh the cost-benefit to us. What will I have to give up to purchase this? Is the price worth it?

My boyfriend shared 1 Corinthians 6 with me recently, and it really hit home as I took that pair of jeans out of my closet.

“‘All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything. ‘Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food’—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.’ But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

— 1 Corinthians 6:12-20

I bought those jeans for a price. That was nothing compared to what Christ did.

Jesus, himself, bought us for a price.

When we’ve repented, when we’ve recognized Him as Lord and given our lives to Him, he brings us into the fold. He doesn’t question whether we are worth it, whether we’re the right fit, whether he can find something better. He loves us, and He accepts us into His kingdom.

And when we keep sinning—and keep crying out to Him as our Savior and the only answer to our brokenness—He forgives us. His Spirit is still within us. In all our mess, our sin, and our mistakes, he doesn’t dispose of us. We are worth it. We are priceless to Him.

I’m reading through parts of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) right now, learning about Jesus’s life on this earth, as fully man and fully God. Everywhere He went, He went in peace. He spoke the truth, and He shared the light of the Father with people. He was completely devoted to the Father and fulfilling the mission God had for Him. He was perfect.

He loved us so much that He died for us, as sinners and broken people. Our sins are what nailed Him to the cross, yet He still took on the most horrible death imaginable in order to give us a way out. He gives us hope and an opportunity for life eternal through faith in Him.

Christ bought us with a price—and we are not our own.

Our bodies, our possessions, our whole lives belong to God. Thinking about what He went through in order to give us life and to entrust us with the Holy Spirit really puts things in perspective. He will never dispose of us or outgrow us like a pair of jeans. He’s not looking for the next best thing. He’s with us for the long haul.

Is He as priceless to us as that thing we saved our money for? Is He as priceless to us as we are to Him? The big question for me is whether I live like I’ve been rescued from death, purchased by the blood of Christ, and extended mercy, grace, and life eternal.

Knowing and fully understanding the fact that I am not my own helps me cast off the weight of sin. It helps us order our lives with God in His rightful place, most high.

My body is God’s; that includes the physical, emotional, and mental. When I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit began to dwell within me. Remembering that empowers me against temptation. God is right there within us, so it’s no wonder Satan so often tries to attack the body. Think about it: drunkenness, pornography, sexual immorality, and disordered eating and exercise seem so common. They’re sins against our own bodies and against Christ within us. And Satan is too sneaky to let the emotional and mental sins gets past him. Hate, lust, anger, jealousy, and greed are just as much of an assault on the body.

Yet we are no longer slaves to sin.

“For he who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called as a free man is Christ’s slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of people. Brothers and sisters, each person is to remain with God in the situation in which he was called.”

— 1 Corinthians 7:22-24

Our bodies are now members of Christ because we were bought at a price. This amazes me. Jesus paid the ultimate price for me, and He paid the ultimate price for you, my friend. That price is way more than a pair of trendy jeans that I may grow out of get tired of after a year or two.

I pray I live my life in a way that’s reflective of my being bought by the King of Kings.

We were created to live each day for Him and to glorify God with our bodies. He has us in this very moment and at this very place with great purpose. Jesus paid the price that you couldn’t in order to give you new life in Him.

What will you do with it?

If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life.

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

I’m not really into new year’s resolutions. I usually hear resolutions like “lose 10 pounds” or “run a marathon” or “cut out dessert”—you get the gist. For a lot of people, making resolutions such as those is super helpful, motivating, and inspiring. But for me, a recovering perfectionist (yes, that’s a thing), it's harmful. It can set be down the path of striving and pushing myself in a way that becomes detrimental. I have the personality where when I set my mind to something, I achieve it. I am my own harshest critic.

At the same time, I believe change is one of the most beautiful parts of life. Setting goals and dreaming big are two beautiful ways we can live our lives to the fullest. I hope to be continually growing and changing throughout the year. Transforming into a better person, not because of a new year's resolution but because of God's grace in molding me into His image.

So instead I’ve adopted a new way to take on the new year: with a word or phrase that I’m holding close as I live out the coming 12 months.

I’ve thought about a number of words that could fit.

Courage.

Strength.

Peace.

Freedom.

This one seems to have stuck. With word after word floating around, this is the one I come back to. Freedom. Freedom to make mistakes. Freedom to be vulnerable. Freedom from the slavery of depression, anxiety, worry, comparison, addiction. Freedom from judgment. Freedom from fear. Freedom to write on this blog and share my story as it unfolds. Freedom to be myself. Freedom to be who God created me to be. Freedom to have ups and downs and know God is still good.

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.”

— 2 Corinthians 3:17

I'm continuing to be set free from the idols I've held too close, the things I've let control me. That freedom has come after a lot of struggle. As I look back on 2015, I see how much change I've experienced. I moved apartments and neighborhoods. I gained two new roommates. I attended a new church congregation and joined a new community group. I was baptized and gave my testimony in front of more than a hundred people. I started a new job in a new industry. I closed the chapter on a relationship and felt the pain of a broken heart. I met someone new and began to heal—and when that season ended, I was able to stand firm by myself, just as I am.

I struggled, and I hurt. Yet I learned how to hope again. I grew more this year than I ever thought possible. I saw that I could suffer—and still be free. God is at work in all the mess. Truly, greater things are at stake. I get to be free from the expectations and desires I have because there's so much more to life than what happens here on earth. This life is fleeting; knowing that sets everything into perspective. It frees me up to be exactly who I am, in this very moment.

A current of freedom has made waves in my life these past few years. I didn't notice it in the moment, but I see it so clearly as I look back on my old journals. Last night I opened up my journal from 2012. I had recently graduated college, took an internship in a tiny Pennsylvania town, and then I packed up my whole life in a rusty black 2001 Ford Taurus to relocate to New York City. I was chasing my dreams and working so hard to make them come true. On the surface, everything was exactly how I envisioned it should be. I had everything I thought I ever wanted. But deep down, I was lost. Living for things that would never really satisfy. Idolizing success, status, my body, my relationships.

I didn't realize how I was living my life until now that I can look back on it, and I see I've been freed from my past. Reading the words from 2012, 2013, and 2014 sound like a different person. I’ve been freed from the yokes of perfection and performance. Those old journals tell such a different story than today’s does. And it's a continual process, happening day after day, year after year. So please hear me: I still wrestle with perfection and performance. I still desire approval and affirmation. I still want to control the path of my life.

But when I see how much God has moved and shaken my life in the last three years, I get excited. If He can do all that He has done in such sweet and unexpected ways during this time, I cannot wait to see all He will do in the next three years. I have freedom to not plan everything or have it all figured out.

I have freedom to trust Him, even when it is hard.

That's the sentiment I want to carry with me into the new year. I hope true freedom will permeate my life in 2016—freedom to know I am right where I am supposed to be.