My Word of the Year

My nine-month-old son wakes up every morning full of joy. He still cries and fusses most nights for at least a little bit, but come morning, he is happy. Come morning, he is excited and ready to start the day. He’s babbling and rolling all around in his crib. As soon as he sees his mom or dad, he squeals with excitement. His delight is contagious.

When was the last time you woke up like that?

It’s certainly not my tendency.

Lately I seem to wake up feeling exhausted, not wanting to get out of bed, it’s cold, it’s dark, why was my son up so many times last night, I’m still tired, I’m not ready for this day…

The list rolls on.

What if I started the day with a grateful heart?

I’ve noticed that attitude is everything. I can choose to be thankful. I can choose to be positive. I can choose my reaction to situations. I can choose to worship God, even when I’m tired or anxious or simply don’t feel like it.

I too easily allow my hormones, the amount of sleep I got, and how much coffee I drank to affect my entire mood. I quickly snap at my husband with words that cut deep. I complain about my work as a stay-at-home mom, even though it’s a job I love and know I’ve been called to. I grumble at the dirty dishes and laundry piles. I berate myself not writing enough, not exercising enough, and even not praying enough. My peace is quickly shaken by my circumstances.

For the past four years, I’ve picked a word as we head into a new year. Rather than set a new year’s resolution, I’ve chosen a word that I’ve prayed about. It’s a word that I’ve felt God put on my heart. Sure enough, for four years, as each of those 12 months go by, I’ve seen God use that word in my life and show me more of Him through it.

That’s why, this year, I’m choosing a word that’s been right in front of me for a long time, and I’m finally claiming it for myself as we head into this new decade.

Joy.

For years, I’ve had a virtual sticky note on my desktop with James 1:2-12:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”

I recently took a moment to read this when I opened my laptop. James said we should consider sufferings, of any kind, as pure joy. What was he talking about? How could he say that?

James knows that all who would read the Word of God would have the story of Jesus.

We would be offered eternal hope in the Kingdom of God, saved by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8). James understood that no matter what we faced on this earth, we as believers in Christ would have eternal life to look forward to. We’d have an unshakeable hope, a future that’s secure, and victory over the enemy.

That’s pure joy.

I want that, and I’m committing to choose a life of joy in the Lord this year. It’s time I live in light of my salvation, remembering all God has done for me. Living in light of His promises as the free woman and the new self that I am. Maybe it’s time for you to do the same.

Colossians 3:1-17 says:

“If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. or you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

That passage is worth meditating on, friends. I’m choosing joy because I want to put off anger and obscene talk. I want to fight back against the lies of the enemy who tells me I’m not good enough and who tries to take away my contentment. I want to put on a compassionate heart, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Forgiveness. Love. I want to give thanks to God in all that I do.

So this year I’m praying for continual joy in this life God has given me and called me to. Pure, unadulterated joy in all circumstances. I have a living hope! And I’m ready to rejoice in it, with inexpressible and glorious joy.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. You are being guarded by God’s power through faith for a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. You rejoice in this, even though now for a short time, if necessary, you suffer grief in various trials so that the proven character of your faith—more valuable than gold which, though perishable, is refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him; though not seeing him now, you believe in him, and you rejoice with inexpressible and glorious joy, because you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”

— 1 Peter 1:3-9

A Word for 2017

New Year’s Resolutions.

That phrase seriously makes me cringe. When I hear it, I usually think of health or fitness-related goals that end up tossed to the wayside by March. I also think of the years I spent setting goals and pursuing them in search of perfection, rather than trusting The Lord or letting His will be done.

So last year I settled on a new tactic. Rather than set goals to somehow better myself, I adopted a different way to take on the new year. I chose a word that I held close and prayed about for twelve months.

That word was freedom.

I wrote about having freedom to not have my life completely figured out:

“... when I see how much God has moved and shaken my life in the last three years, I get excited. If He can do all that He has done in such sweet and unexpected ways during this time, I cannot wait to see all He will do in the next three years. I have freedom to not plan everything or have it all figured out.

I have freedom to trust Him, even when it is hard.

That's the sentiment I want to carry with me into the new year. I hope true freedom will permeate my life in 2016—freedom to know I am right where I am supposed to be.”

Well God totally showed up.

I think, in so many ways, freedom did permeate my life in 2016. I felt free from things I’d previously been enslaved to—free from the yokes of perfection and approval. Free from my own control. In 2017, I’ll continue to pray for freedom and restoration. I can now truthfully say full freedom rests in Him alone.

Praying and thinking about freedom as much as I did helped bring it to light in my life.

A move to Nashville! A communications and ministry job! A relationship founded in Christ! The words we use to make requests to God have power. And that’s why I’ve spent the past week journaling about my word for 2017.

To help me do so, I’ve been following along with Lara Casey’s goal-setting series on her blog. Girlfriend is amazing. I recently discovered her blog and ministry, and I am so very encouraged by the way she lives out her faith through her work. It turns out she, too, believes in picking a word for the year ahead. She talks a lot about living on purpose rather than chasing perfect. That idea could not resonate more with me.

Armed with Lara's advice, I’ve looked at the challenges from this past year, as well as the blessings and the lessons I’ve learned. Where do I hope to be in the year ahead? How do I want to grow? What do I need to say yes to—and what to do I need to say no to?

Lara suggests looking for themes in the midst of all this journaling. Jot down some possible words of the year and take time to pray about the word God has actually laid on your heart.

I did just that, and I kept seeing themes of growth and depth. Nature was a common thread. Stillness, quiet, and peacefulness were all on the page.

Yet none of those words seemed quite right. I knew God would impress the right word upon my heart.

It only took a few days. I wrote down a few prayers earlier this week, and the word flowed out.

“God, I pray for depth this year. Fewer commitments, fewer things, and greater focus on you. Help me to grow deep rather than wide. You will guide me. I pray I listen and obey. Strengthen my relationship because we’re both going deeper with you. Help me to do good work at my job and on my blog because I am growing deeper in you. Let all I do be an outpouring of that depth; let it continually point back to you. I pray for deeper health, healing, courage, and freedom. Let the roots grow deep, Lord.

Rooted in you, watered daily with Scripture and prayer so that I may grow and blossom. Rooted in you, Father.”

Rooted.

That’s my word. My goal and focus for 2017. I want all that I do to be rooted in Him.

A seed is planted, and its roots slowly settle in. With water, sunlight, and proper care, the roots will grow deep. The seed will spring up into a plant and grow stronger, blossoming and flourishing in the way it was created to be all along.

Like a plant, when we’re rooted in Christ and live for Him, we, too, will grow stronger and flourish into who He has designed us to be.

“Therefore, as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in faith, just as you were taught, overflowing with gratitude.”

— Colossians 2:6-7

My biggest desire for this year ahead is to stand firmly rooted in Him and to walk with Him. Growing deeply in Jesus is the first step; everything else follows suit. We can hope and dream, trusting that our Father is in control, leading us no matter what, and working all things for our ultimate good. We are blessed to live from victory of Christ rather than live for victory of our own.

As I went back to work this week, “rooted” was on my mind. It suddenly became obvious that this word came from the Lord. We as a church are going through a “Growing Up Challenge” together, learning spiritual disciplines for daily life and how to be a disciple. We even use study books called Growing Up, Firmly Planted, and Foundations. Everything points back to “rooted.” It's come full circle. 

Living out my word of the year in daily life in 2017 will take a lot of prayer. “Rooted” means saying yes to stillness, quiet, and rest. To time alone with Christ. To stepping out of my comfort zone trusting Him and knowing my foundation cannot be shaken. To gratitude, to generosity, to service. “Rooted” means saying no to comparison and selfishness. No to busyness and hustle, and definitely no to doubt and distrust. Over and over and over again.

No matter what changes occur over the next 12 months, my identity is rooted in God. My roots are unshakeable. I pray they grow deeper and stronger than I ever thought possible. I pray they remind me of exactly who I am and whose I am. 

I believe God will use "rooted" within me this year, even if in the smallest and most unexpected of ways. I'm challenging you to set your own word for 2017. Send me an email or reply in the comments below. Share it with your friends. Pray about it and offer it up to Jesus. And together, let's watch as He shows up yet again.

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

Why I Won't Resolve To Lose Weight In 2017

Every December, the chatter is the same. Wherever I turn, I hear women discussing how to say no when holiday treats abound. How to stay in shape when winter is in full force. How to eat clean and drop a few l-bs as the new year rolls around.  

You know the discussions I’m talking about. The get healthy slash be fit slash lose weight mentality is inescapable. Everywhere you look or listen, you’re sure to find someone discussing it. New Year’s Resolutions are synonymous with it. Magazine cover lines are all about it—as are Instagram posts, Pinterest boards, website banners, television commercials, bookstore windows, you name it. Weight loss is a major part of our culture, and each impending January 1 only amplifies that mentality a hundred fold.

“I feel so fat; I need to cut out carbs.”

“I can’t believe I ate [fill-in-the-blank]. I definitely need to go for a run tomorrow.”

“If I could just lose ten pounds, I’d feel so much better about myself. My life would be better, too.”

Hear me when I say: I won’t resolve to lose weight this year. Or next year. Or the year after that.

I won’t resolve to eat clean. Clean food is food that’s been washed and prepped.

And I won’t resolve to burn more calories by spending endless hours at the gym.

What I will do is resolve to accept and love my body, and to nourish it body, mind, and soul.

This goal is not going to be easy, and that’s why I’m publishing it here on my blog. I want us to hold each other accountable. It’s time to speak truth to our dear girlfriends, sisters, and daughters. It’s time to speak truth to ourselves. You are beautiful, and you were designed by the greatest artist of all time. Your curves, your soft belly, your strong thighs—those are no mistake. God made you exactly the way you are. He knew what He was doing, and He created you in His image. He crafted your personality. Your strength, your sensitivity, your gentleness, your boldness. All designed by the One above. The best part: He gave you a heart and a soul and the opportunity to live life eternally long after your physical body has passed away.

Thinking about that gives me confidence. Know that the Lord actively created you and continues to pursue you. Put your faith in Him. Rest secure in that.

Today, I feel beautiful and worthy. I am happy. My walk through body image and health has been a long one. I’ve made great strides, but I’m still a work in progress. Believe me, I still have days when I worry about the way I look or the food I eat. I still let those annoying messages about “health” bother me sometimes. That’s why I see an awesome nutrition counselor on a regular basis here in Nashville. She has helped me understand that I’m in a season of restoration.

Since moving here, I’ve learned about the importance of rest. I’ve entered into a restoration both physical and spiritual as I embrace the full woman God has designed me to be. My physical restoration includes weight gain. It’s uncomfortable, challenging, and anxiety-provoking. And it’s the complete opposite of what culture tells me to do. So I have to turn away from the prevalent New Year’s resolutions talk and preach the truth to myself.

In reality, health is different for every single person. For me, health means eating more calories than what a magazine tells me to and not worrying about whether my food is organic or free of refined sugars. Health means doing yoga and taking walks rather than running a half marathon or doing high-intensity interval training. Health means trusting my body and living free of the rules I was once enslaved to during the height of my eating disorder.

And I recognize this country has an obesity epidemic. You may be reading this right now and thinking, Yeah but two-third of Americans are overweight. This is true. Naturally, the message we constantly hear is one of weight loss. But we are not often told about the other side of this problem. Did you know at least 30 million Americans of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder? That number only encapsulates the people who report it. In addition, anorexia is the deadliest of all mental illnesses.

Clearly, with this many people suffering on both ends of the spectrum, we are doing something wrong. The message of weight loss and dieting is a failure.

We need to find a way to focus on treating our bodies well—whatever that looks like. Cooking together, enjoying real food, moving because it feels good, and developing spiritual fitness so that we can run with endurance the race that lies before us.

“Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of God’s throne. For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, so that you won’t grow weary and lose heart.”

— Hebrews 12:1-3

There is no easy answer, but God has given me a heart for this, and I simply must speak up. I am passionate about being a good steward of the body God has given me, and I want to encourage others to do the same. I strive to treat my body the way Christ would want me to—to utilize it to the full potential of the gifts He has given me! I pray and hope this for you, too.  

Take a second to think about the amount of time you spend focused on food, your body, your weight, your exercise routine. How much time do you spend working out? How much energy do you put into dieting attempts? How much brain space do you give to negative body image thoughts and restrictive food rules?

Now how much time do you spend with God? In prayer or in the Word?

“For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.

If you point these things out to the brothers and sisters, you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, nourished on the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed. Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe.”

— 1 Timothy 4:4-10

Physical fitness is great⏤but it cannot compare to godliness and time with the Lord.

Don’t let the continual chatter about weight loss goals distract you or bring you down. Don’t use such talk to justify harmful behaviors or set produce negative thoughts. Filter out the unhealthy, unhelpful, and unproductive voices. Don’t follow them and don’t engage with them. Preach the truth to yourself and find the different voices that remind you your identity stands in Him alone.

Ultimately, we have to fix our eyes on Jesus. I really believe that’s the only way to achieve true health.

Forget resolving to lose weight or get fit. Resolve to enjoy your life! Enjoy food and enjoy moving because you have a body that can. I pray all of you who are struggling with any aspect of food, fitness, or body image let Jesus reign supreme in your heart instead. God has a mission for us and it doesn’t involve flat abs, clean eating, or record-setting weight loss. Spend more time with Him. Follow His call for you. And ask Him to reshape your heart and instill confidence in your body and the woman He’s made you to be. 

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

A Word For 2016

I’m not really into new year’s resolutions. I usually hear resolutions like “lose 10 pounds” or “run a marathon” or “cut out dessert”—you get the gist. For a lot of people, making resolutions such as those is super helpful, motivating, and inspiring. But for me, a recovering perfectionist (yes, that’s a thing), it's harmful. It can set be down the path of striving and pushing myself in a way that becomes detrimental. I have the personality where when I set my mind to something, I achieve it. I am my own harshest critic. 

At the same time, I believe change is one of the most beautiful parts of life. Setting goals and dreaming big are two beautiful ways we can live our lives to the fullest. I hope to be continually growing and changing throughout the year. Transforming into a better person, not because of a new year's resolution but because of God's grace in molding me into His image. 

So instead I’ve adopted a new way to take on the new year: with a word or phrase that I’m holding close as I live out the coming 12 months.

I’ve thought about a number of words that could fit.

Courage. 

Strength.

Peace.

Freedom.

This one seems to have stuck. With word after word floating around, this is the one I come back to. Freedom. Freedom to make mistakes. Freedom to be vulnerable. Freedom from the slavery of depression, anxiety, worry, comparison, addiction. Freedom from judgment. Freedom from fear. Freedom to write on this blog and share my story as it unfolds. Freedom to be myself. Freedom to be who God created me to be. Freedom to have ups and downs and know God is still good.  

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.”

— 2 Corinthians 3:17

I'm continuing to be set free from the idols I've held too close, the things I've let control me. That freedom has come after a lot of struggle. As I look back on 2015, I see how much change I've experienced. I moved apartments and neighborhoods. I gained two new roommates. I attended a new church congregation and joined a new community group. I was baptized and gave my testimony in front of more than a hundred people. I started a new job in a new industry. I closed the chapter on a relationship and felt the pain of a broken heart. I met someone new and began to heal—and when that season ended, I was able to stand firm by myself, just as I am.

I struggled, and I hurt. Yet I learned how to hope again. I grew more this year than I ever thought possible. I saw that I could suffer—and still be free. God is at work in all the mess. Truly, greater things are at stake. I get to be free from the expectations and desires I have because there's so much more to life than what happens here on earth. This life is fleeting; knowing that sets everything into perspective. It frees me up to be exactly who I am, in this very moment. 

A current of freedom has made waves in my life these past few years. I didn't notice it in the moment, but I see it so clearly as I look back on my old journals. Last night I opened up my journal from 2012. I had recently graduated college, took an internship in a tiny Pennsylvania town, and then I packed up my whole life in a rusty black 2001 Ford Taurus to relocate to New York City. I was chasing my dreams and working so hard to make them come true. On the surface, everything was exactly how I envisioned it should be. I had everything I thought I ever wanted. But deep down, I was lost. Living for things that would never really satisfy. Idolizing success, status, my body, my relationships. 

I didn't realize how I was living my life until now that I can look back on it, and I see I've been freed from my past. Reading the words from 2012, 2013, and 2014 sound like a different person. I’ve been freed from the yokes of perfection and performance. Those old journals tell such a different story than today’s does. And it's a continual process, happening day after day, year after year. So please hear me: I still wrestle with perfection and performance. I still desire approval and affirmation. I still want to control the path of my life.

But when I see how much God has moved and shaken my life in the last three years, I get excited. If He can do all that He has done in such sweet and unexpected ways during this time, I cannot wait to see all He will do in the next three years. I have freedom to not plan everything or have it all figured out.

I have freedom to trust Him, even when it is hard.

That's the sentiment I want to carry with me into the new year. I hope true freedom will permeate my life in 2016—freedom to know I am right where I am supposed to be.