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Reflections From the Snow

January 25, 2016 Maggie Getz

A snow-blanketed Central Park may just be my favorite place on earth.

Not only does it look like Narnia, but it also feels more serene than any other time of the year. There’s a sense of stillness that covers the Park along with the snow. Fewer people are walking or running. Biking is nearly impossible. Even the dogs have stayed indoors. The whole Park seems suspended in a moment in time. Everything moves at a slower pace—it’s one of those rare times where you can actually hear the wind whistling through the tree branches. And call me crazy, but the Park even smells better with the snow. Fresh, clean, crisp.

It is truly magical.

During this weekend’s epic winter storm Jonas, I spent my Saturday morning reading and writing in bed while watching the snow fall outside my window. As I sipped on my coffee, I kept hearing the words:

Be still and know that I am God.

The snow forces me to stop.

To just be.  

To know that I am not in charge.

That is really hard for me to do. I had three different activities planned for Saturday, and I had no choice but to cancel all of them. Being able to do nothing for an entire day in New York City is truly a practice, one I’m only just starting to get the hang of.

Resting is the opposite of the world's current favorite mantra: hustle. Take a look at Etsy, and you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about.

"Good things happen to those who hustle."
"Hustle today. Enjoy tomorrow."

And my personal favorite:

"Pray, hustle, repeat."

I looked up hustle in the dictionary—“to quickly move or push someone often in a rough way.” Also see, “to make strenuous efforts to obtain (money or business).” That actually doesn’t sound fun at all.

We're told to work harder, and even to play harder. We have apps that satisfy our every needs: from dry-cleaned underwear on-demand to people who will wait in line for Cronuts for you. We’re busy, and we have more important items to cross of our lists than undergarments and pastries. We're generally expected to get stuff done and to be aggressive if that will make us more efficient. Being busy is something to strive for; being busy is an accomplishment.

We wear busy like a badge of honor.  

Maybe I’m just preaching to myself here. Maybe you are able to set aside all the invitations, goals, and tasks to simply be still. Maybe you have a backyard with a hammock where you spend quiet time every day. In that case, I salute you. I hope to be more like you. Feel free to skip over the rest of this article.

But if you’re like me, you can easily get caught up in the allure of busyness. It’s a constant cycle of more, more, more.

So I have to ask, at what point is life simply enough? When we can we finally stop to take a breath?

After three years in New York City, I can tell you that the hustle will never truly satisfy.

Rest is ultimately so much better. Thankfully, we can find rest wherever we are—even in the city that never sleeps. We always have the choice to lift our heads and look to Him for true restoration.

The snowstorm reminded me of that this week. It was a gift. Whenever I see snow, it feels as though a bit of heaven has floated down for all God’s creation. We get to appreciate it and enjoy it until it melts away. We’re left with the comfort of knowing it is just a glimpse of the beauty that is to come one day.

We’re given a season of hibernation and quiet during the winter months— an opportunity to do less with the shorter daylight hours. It’s yet another way God cares for us, so much so that he naturally provides periods of rest like this one.

Not every day will be a snow day—I’m working on cultivating more stillness in my everyday. Fewer events on my social calendar, fewer freelance projects, fewer Instagram posts. I’m figuring out what my life looks like when there are moments to simply be.

I’ve started taking a slightly longer commute. By taking a different train than usual and spending 10 more minutes travelling, I am able to almost always find a seat. That means I can read, listen to a sermon, or close my eyes. I used to use those 45 minutes to catch up on emails and start the work day before I had reached my desk. Now I make a point to leave my phone in my bag until I am in the office.

In the same vein, I’ve gone back to using a real alarm clock. My body was so accustomed to waking up to the iPhone “marimba”—the sound of a mallet hitting wooden keys that we all know so well—that it took a little time to get used to the classic alarm clock beep again. I set my work phone and my personal phone on “do not disturb” mode (total game changer) and tuck them in my purse around 9 or 10 p.m. The hope is that’s where they’ll stay until 9 a.m. the following day.

Separating from my phone gives my hard-working thumbs a break; it also allows my brain to actually focus on the here and now. I noticed that while I’m excellent at multitasking, my comprehension level has gone way down. I miss the things that are right in front of me. If I’m reading or writing but continually glancing at the light or the vibration of my phone, then I’m only half-tuned in to what I’m reading and writing. For me, fostering rest often comes with setting boundaries and saying no. I’m still learning how to do that, but the times when I have, I’m refreshed.

This January, I began a Bible in a year plan. Mornings look like waking up a bit earlier so I can read and reflect on the passage for the day as I eat breakfast. I’ll be honest: Sometimes I am scrambling to get out the door and don’t read until I hit my bed that night. Sometimes it’s the next day. And that’s okay. When I’m digging into the Word, though, I feel more at ease for the day ahead.

I’m rooted in the reality that peace comes from Him alone.

I see how I’m much more content when I build real rest throughout my week. I can catch my breath and think clearly. It’s good for my body, mind, and soul.

This weekend, I’m heading back to Central Park to take in the snowy scene while I still can. I want to breathe in that cold, fresh air and listen to the peaceful sounds of nature, completely insulated from the rushing city streets just a short distance away. Who knows, I may even take off my watch, turn off my cell phone, and walk for as long as my feet can carry me.

Less hustle. More stillness. More grace.

In faith Tags snow, winter, rest, stillness, be still, snowstorm, peace
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A Word For 2016

December 29, 2015 Maggie Getz

I’m not really into new year’s resolutions. I usually hear resolutions like “lose 10 pounds” or “run a marathon” or “cut out dessert”—you get the gist. For a lot of people, making resolutions such as those is super helpful, motivating, and inspiring. But for me, a recovering perfectionist (yes, that’s a thing), it's harmful. It can set be down the path of striving and pushing myself in a way that becomes detrimental. I have the personality where when I set my mind to something, I achieve it. I am my own harshest critic. 

At the same time, I believe change is one of the most beautiful parts of life. Setting goals and dreaming big are two beautiful ways we can live our lives to the fullest. I hope to be continually growing and changing throughout the year. Transforming into a better person, not because of a new year's resolution but because of God's grace in molding me into His image. 

So instead I’ve adopted a new way to take on the new year: with a word or phrase that I’m holding close as I live out the coming 12 months.

I’ve thought about a number of words that could fit.

Courage. 

Strength.

Peace.

Freedom.

This one seems to have stuck. With word after word floating around, this is the one I come back to. Freedom. Freedom to make mistakes. Freedom to be vulnerable. Freedom from the slavery of depression, anxiety, worry, comparison, addiction. Freedom from judgment. Freedom from fear. Freedom to write on this blog and share my story as it unfolds. Freedom to be myself. Freedom to be who God created me to be. Freedom to have ups and downs and know God is still good.  

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.”
— 2 Corinthians 3:17

I'm continuing to be set free from the idols I've held too close, the things I've let control me. That freedom has come after a lot of struggle. As I look back on 2015, I see how much change I've experienced. I moved apartments and neighborhoods. I gained two new roommates. I attended a new church congregation and joined a new community group. I was baptized and gave my testimony in front of more than a hundred people. I started a new job in a new industry. I closed the chapter on a relationship and felt the pain of a broken heart. I met someone new and began to heal—and when that season ended, I was able to stand firm by myself, just as I am.

I struggled, and I hurt. Yet I learned how to hope again. I grew more this year than I ever thought possible. I saw that I could suffer—and still be free. God is at work in all the mess. Truly, greater things are at stake. I get to be free from the expectations and desires I have because there's so much more to life than what happens here on earth. This life is fleeting; knowing that sets everything into perspective. It frees me up to be exactly who I am, in this very moment. 

A current of freedom has made waves in my life these past few years. I didn't notice it in the moment, but I see it so clearly as I look back on my old journals. Last night I opened up my journal from 2012. I had recently graduated college, took an internship in a tiny Pennsylvania town, and then I packed up my whole life in a rusty black 2001 Ford Taurus to relocate to New York City. I was chasing my dreams and working so hard to make them come true. On the surface, everything was exactly how I envisioned it should be. I had everything I thought I ever wanted. But deep down, I was lost. Living for things that would never really satisfy. Idolizing success, status, my body, my relationships. 

I didn't realize how I was living my life until now that I can look back on it, and I see I've been freed from my past. Reading the words from 2012, 2013, and 2014 sound like a different person. I’ve been freed from the yokes of perfection and performance. Those old journals tell such a different story than today’s does. And it's a continual process, happening day after day, year after year. So please hear me: I still wrestle with perfection and performance. I still desire approval and affirmation. I still want to control the path of my life.

But when I see how much God has moved and shaken my life in the last three years, I get excited. If He can do all that He has done in such sweet and unexpected ways during this time, I cannot wait to see all He will do in the next three years. I have freedom to not plan everything or have it all figured out.

I have freedom to trust Him, even when it is hard.

That's the sentiment I want to carry with me into the new year. I hope true freedom will permeate my life in 2016—freedom to know I am right where I am supposed to be.

 

In faith Tags freedom, new year's, new year's eve, new year's resolution, word of the year
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The Reason For The Season

December 21, 2015 Maggie Getz

I’ve been wanting to write this post for a while, yet I haven’t been able to make my words stick. I type… and then I backspace. Writing about this makes me uncomfortable. In fact, I’ve been procrastinating like no other. I have about 10 tabs open on my computer right now so I can keep clicking off my page, distracting myself, and leaving this article behind. I’ve scrapped multiple version of this post already. But I think the piece I’m about to write is so important to put out there, which is why I’m giving you my unfiltered words straight from the heart.

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s are supposed to be times of celebration and cheer. Except for many of us, the holidays bring up sadness, loneliness, brokenness.

A season that is meant to be merry and bright can feel so far from it.

We’re reminded of family members and friends who we have lost. We’re reminded of how much everything has changed since we’ve grown up, and not always for the better. We’re reminded of the utter imperfection of our lives as we attempt to buy the perfect gifts, to cook the perfect meals, to host the perfect parties, to score the perfect invites, to wear the perfect outfits. We’re faced with a whole lot of mess.

For years, I had an especially hard time around the holiday season. As someone who’s struggled with an eating disorder, being confronted with party after party and feast after feast proved challenging. Think about it: Most celebrations revolve around food in some way. Once I went through recovery, I wanted to make sure family and friends saw that I was doing well and that I could take good care of myself. I would put an inordinate amount of pressure on myself to minimize any sort of scrutiny around my health and my body. That meant eating the right things and wearing the right clothes. I couldn't bear the thought of others gossiping about me or questioning my choices. I couldn't look too thin, or eat too little. At the same time, I would battle the faulty idea in my head that I needed to enjoy everything in moderation and not go overboard just because it’s the holiday season.

That cycle was straight-up exhausting.

It’s not just food that made the holidays tough for me. It was seeing and thinking about the past. Coming home meant thinking about the friendships that have faded and even completely dissolved. It meant driving past the houses of the girls I’d known since age five—the same girls whose falling out with took me literally years to heal from. Coming home served as a stark memory of the person I once was. Home is where I got sick. Home is where life fell apart. Home is where everything changed.

And so for years, I stayed isolated and, even though I loved the idea of Christmas and all it stood for, I felt this nagging sadness around it all.

You may not face the same struggles and sins that I do, but chances are some part of you can relate to what I’m talking about. Maybe you lost your mom and Christmas isn’t the same without her. Maybe you come from a family of divorce. Maybe you face depression or anxiety. Maybe you deal with infertility, and you can’t seem to escape everyone’s babies and pregnancy announcements this time of year. Or maybe you’re just tired of being the only single one at your holiday parties and wondering when it’s going to happen for you. We can easily forget the reason this season is meant to be merry and bright at all. 

It doesn't help that the whole world seems to be on go-go-go mode. November hits, and life suddenly feels like a whirlwind. There are happy hours and holiday parties and cookies exchanges. There's shopping, plus cleaning and cooking and traveling. The calendar fills up with event after event. The to-do list grows longer and longer. Every minute feels precious. 

We want to give great gifts, ones that don't need a gift receipt because there's no way they are getting returned. We want to score invites to the best events. We want to tell people our calendars are booked and wear busyness as a badge of honor. We want to present ourselves in the best light possible because, darn it, cousin Jane needs to know that I am successful and happy and have the greatest life ever!

Before we know it, January is here, the Christmas tree has come down, and the past two and half months flew by without much thought or concern. In the end, the hustle leaves us feeling empty and lonely. It doesn’t bring joy at all. 

But, praise God, the holidays don’t have to feel this way.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this.”
— Isaiah 9:6-7

It’s taken me a quarter of a century to figure that out. I can finally let out a deep breath at Christmastime. The season feels different to me now. Christmas signifies hope. It means thinking about the girl I used to be and knowing I am someone else now. I have been made anew. I can come back home and think about the girl I once was and know that Jesus has redeemed her. I can drive past the houses of my former best friends and think of the good memories we had together, rather than the hurts and mistakes. I can eat extra Christmas cookies and pie and thank the Lord that I don’t pretend to not want them anymore. Home is where my heart is. I spend time with my family. I sleep in the same twin bed in the same house where I grew up, and I come downstairs on Christmas morning to the same tree I have always loved.

The past doesn’t get to haunt me anymore. My imperfections are part of what make me me. I am offered an undercurrent of joy, and all I have to do is latch onto it. Whatever we face in this season, we are given hope and peace. Our Savior is born! He's come down as a man on this earth to walk among us, to struggle with us, to face the same temptations that we do. Jesus is not just some figurehead. He is God and man, and He gets it. He's born so that one day He can die for us and bring us salvation. If that’s not cause for celebration, then I don’t know what is. 

Christ's birth brings true joy into the world.

It's an overflowing kind of joy that won't ever result from a packed social calendar or expensive presents or fun vacations. It's a joy that's available no matter what else changes in our lives. If the holidays are tough for you, it's okay. As my best friend likes to say, it's okay to not be okay. Because you know what? God still accepts us, still redeems us, and still brings everlasting peace, joy, hope, and love. Remember that, and I know the holidays will feel different for you, too. He is the reason for the season. To that, I say amen.

In faith Tags christmas, joy, advent, christmastime, holidays
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When Oceans Rise

October 13, 2015 Maggie Getz

What a weekend. I escaped to the beach for three glorious is-it-really-October days, complete with plenty of rest and reflection. Most of the time was spent in an old white house mere steps away from the Atlantic Ocean. I could not have asked for a better spot.

I've always loved the ocean. I think part of that is because I grew up in the Midwest. We have the great plains, long-stretching forests, and incredible lakes. As wonderful as all these things are, they’re not the ocean. The ocean is different. It feels special. I've been fortunate enough to take vacations on multiple occasions to both the Atlantic and the Pacific, and I can tell you that the thrill of these adventures never fades.  

I love walking through warm sand. I love when the cold waves wash up to your ankles and your feet start to sink down into the muck. I love the sound of the tide hitting the shore. And I love looking out at that deep blue hue for as far as the eye can see.

I’m in complete awe of the ocean. I’m intrigued and impressed by it. I marvel at its beauty and wonder at its seemingly never-ending reach.

At the same time, I’m afraid of it. It extends beyond my understanding. It’s powerful, and it’s virtually unknowable. It’s a giant beast that can overtake me at any moment.

The ocean is a lot like life. Some days it’s calm and peaceful. The waves are quiet and gently lap against the shore. Other days the water is choppy and rough. The current is strong, and the undertow doesn’t play games. The tide can change without warning, leaving a path of utter destruction in its wake.

As I thought about this weekend, I realized I’m in a season where the tide is rising. The water is getting tougher, and I can’t quite see where to navigate. Life feels choppy, unexpected, ever-changing. I’m wrestling with fear and loneliness, and I’m looking out at this giant blue abyss in anger and frustration. Why am I feeling this way? Why am in this place yet again? Why do I have to struggle?

“The disciples went and woke him, saying, ‘Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!’ He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?’ Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, ‘What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!’”
— Matthew 8:25-27

Yet in the struggle—in all the fear and all the shame—I haven’t been overtaken. I’ve been shown goodness and mercy. I’ve been loved well by friends and family, and I’ve been reminded of truth: The same God who masters the vast ocean is involved in the intricacies of our lives. The ocean is one amazing piece of evidence of God’s powerful hand. If he can calm the wind and the waves, just think what He can do in our own lives.

Often we’re faced with a rising tide and rough waters so that we turn to Him. I have to keep reminding myself that He is ever present; He won’t let me drown.

Since coming back to the city, I’ve been listening on repeat to Hillsong United’s “Oceans.” It brings tears to my eyes when I hear it. I'm meditating on the words over and over. There's something so comforting about even humming it to myself. With more than 44 million YouTube views, it's safe to say I'm not the only one who has been affected by this song. 

It's become my prayer in recent weeks. I’m asking for help to embrace the unknown and the struggle, and to walk out upon the waters wherever I am called. And, ultimately, I'm asking for faith.

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep

My faith will stand

 

And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

 

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand

Will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed and You won't start now

 

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

 

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

 

Oh, Jesus, you're my God!

 

I will call upon Your name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours and You are mine

In faith
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