Beauty Is... Becoming

This week's post is one very close to my heart. In January, I had the honor to write for The Refined Woman as part of their "Beauty Is" series. I'm talking about real beauty, worth, and being made for so much more than our physical appearance. Head over to their site to read the full story.

God works in mysterious and wonderful ways, guys. I may not have written this post and connected with The Refined Woman had I not moved to a new neighborhood, or gone through a breakup, or started a new job. We see God's faithfulness all the time in His word, but it's encouraging to see it through my own life, here and now, even in the midst of things that I didn't understand when they happened.

I've read and admired The Refined Woman for a long time, and I'm so grateful to have the opportunity to contribute today. Although I met The Refined Woman's co-founder Katherine Harris during my time at Verily, I had not really gotten to know her. But after I went through a breakup last year, I began investing more time and energy into my writing and learning about who I am, on my own and with God. I attended an event on singleness last fall with the incredible Marian Jordan Ellis, and Kat happened to be there photographing. Turns out she and Marian are friends. I was able to reconnect with Kat after the event, and shortly thereafter I wrote this post. 

My view of beauty and worth has changed a lot these past few years. Beauty means becoming who we were created to be, fully embracing the unique creation that we are. I'm grateful for all the ways I've been refined, and I'm excited to continue growing in 2016 and beyond.

Reflections From the Snow

A snow-blanketed Central Park may just be my favorite place on earth.

Not only does it look like Narnia, but it also feels more serene than any other time of the year. There’s a sense of stillness that covers the Park along with the snow. Fewer people are walking or running. Biking is nearly impossible. Even the dogs have stayed indoors. The whole Park seems suspended in a moment in time. Everything moves at a slower pace—it’s one of those rare times where you can actually hear the wind whistling through the tree branches. And call me crazy, but the Park even smells better with the snow. Fresh, clean, crisp.

It is truly magical.

During this weekend’s epic winter storm Jonas, I spent my Saturday morning reading and writing in bed while watching the snow fall outside my window. As I sipped on my coffee, I kept hearing the words:

Be still and know that I am God.

The snow forces me to stop.

To just be.  

To know that I am not in charge.

That is really hard for me to do. I had three different activities planned for Saturday, and I had no choice but to cancel all of them. Being able to do nothing for an entire day in New York City is truly a practice, one I’m only just starting to get the hang of.

Resting is the opposite of the world's current favorite mantra: hustle. Take a look at Etsy, and you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about.

"Good things happen to those who hustle."

"Hustle today. Enjoy tomorrow."

And my personal favorite:

"Pray, hustle, repeat."

I looked up hustle in the dictionary—“to quickly move or push someone often in a rough way.” Also see, “to make strenuous efforts to obtain (money or business).” That actually doesn’t sound fun at all.

We're told to work harder, and even to play harder. We have apps that satisfy our every needs: from dry-cleaned underwear on-demand to people who will wait in line for Cronuts for you. We’re busy, and we have more important items to cross of our lists than undergarments and pastries. We're generally expected to get stuff done and to be aggressive if that will make us more efficient. Being busy is something to strive for; being busy is an accomplishment.

We wear busy like a badge of honor.  

Maybe I’m just preaching to myself here. Maybe you are able to set aside all the invitations, goals, and tasks to simply be still. Maybe you have a backyard with a hammock where you spend quiet time every day. In that case, I salute you. I hope to be more like you. Feel free to skip over the rest of this article.

But if you’re like me, you can easily get caught up in the allure of busyness. It’s a constant cycle of more, more, more.

So I have to ask, at what point is life simply enough? When we can we finally stop to take a breath?

After three years in New York City, I can tell you that the hustle will never truly satisfy.

Rest is ultimately so much better. Thankfully, we can find rest wherever we are—even in the city that never sleeps. We always have the choice to lift our heads and look to Him for true restoration.

The snowstorm reminded me of that this week. It was a gift. Whenever I see snow, it feels as though a bit of heaven has floated down for all God’s creation. We get to appreciate it and enjoy it until it melts away. We’re left with the comfort of knowing it is just a glimpse of the beauty that is to come one day.

We’re given a season of hibernation and quiet during the winter months— an opportunity to do less with the shorter daylight hours. It’s yet another way God cares for us, so much so that he naturally provides periods of rest like this one.

Not every day will be a snow day—I’m working on cultivating more stillness in my everyday. Fewer events on my social calendar, fewer freelance projects, fewer Instagram posts. I’m figuring out what my life looks like when there are moments to simply be.

I’ve started taking a slightly longer commute. By taking a different train than usual and spending 10 more minutes travelling, I am able to almost always find a seat. That means I can read, listen to a sermon, or close my eyes. I used to use those 45 minutes to catch up on emails and start the work day before I had reached my desk. Now I make a point to leave my phone in my bag until I am in the office.

In the same vein, I’ve gone back to using a real alarm clock. My body was so accustomed to waking up to the iPhone “marimba”—the sound of a mallet hitting wooden keys that we all know so well—that it took a little time to get used to the classic alarm clock beep again. I set my work phone and my personal phone on “do not disturb” mode (total game changer) and tuck them in my purse around 9 or 10 p.m. The hope is that’s where they’ll stay until 9 a.m. the following day.

Separating from my phone gives my hard-working thumbs a break; it also allows my brain to actually focus on the here and now. I noticed that while I’m excellent at multitasking, my comprehension level has gone way down. I miss the things that are right in front of me. If I’m reading or writing but continually glancing at the light or the vibration of my phone, then I’m only half-tuned in to what I’m reading and writing. For me, fostering rest often comes with setting boundaries and saying no. I’m still learning how to do that, but the times when I have, I’m refreshed.

This January, I began a Bible in a year plan. Mornings look like waking up a bit earlier so I can read and reflect on the passage for the day as I eat breakfast. I’ll be honest: Sometimes I am scrambling to get out the door and don’t read until I hit my bed that night. Sometimes it’s the next day. And that’s okay. When I’m digging into the Word, though, I feel more at ease for the day ahead.

I’m rooted in the reality that peace comes from Him alone.

I see how I’m much more content when I build real rest throughout my week. I can catch my breath and think clearly. It’s good for my body, mind, and soul.

This weekend, I’m heading back to Central Park to take in the snowy scene while I still can. I want to breathe in that cold, fresh air and listen to the peaceful sounds of nature, completely insulated from the rushing city streets just a short distance away. Who knows, I may even take off my watch, turn off my cell phone, and walk for as long as my feet can carry me.

Less hustle. More stillness. More grace.

I Want To Make My Name Known

Last week the Forbes 30 Under 30 list came out. I saw all the tweets, Facebook posts, and LinkedIn statuses. I read through the multiple lists (yes, there are more than one), and I made a mental note of all the young women in media, marketing, communications, and tech. The 25-year-old head of marketing at a rising company. The 28-year-old co-creators of a brilliant email newsletter. The 18-year-old founder of a magazine.

They’ve done so much in their short lives. They made the cut. They’ve been recognized and carved into history.

My heart so badly desires what these under-30s have: acknowledgement, approval, achievement, success, influence. They are making an impact, and the world knows about it. Forbes makes sure you’re aware of it:

“From an initial screening list of more than 15,000 of the best of the best, the 600 women and men featured in the Forbes fifth annual 30 Under 30 are America’s most important young entrepreneurs, creative leaders and brightest stars. Name a business sector, social issue or essential institution, they are taking it on and changing the rules of the game– or creating entirely new playbooks.”

In the past, youth was a handicap to professional success. Getting older meant more resources, more knowledge, more money. No more. Those who grew up in the tech age have way bigger ambitions—perfectly suited to the dynamic, entrepreneurial and impatient digital world they grew up in. If you want to change the world, being under 30 is now an advantage.”

I want to change the world and be one of America’s brightest stars, too.

How can I do that?

How am I going to get there?

I’ve got approximately four years left to make the cut…

The wheels start turning. I begin to get a bit anxious. I look at my own life and feel suddenly inadequate. I need to do more, work harder, make moves!

These movers and shakers have made their names known. I want to make my name known.

Maggie Niemiec.

Published author. Blogger. Expert Marketer. Social Media Strategist. Influencer.

I want to see my name in lights—on bookstore shelves and computer screens and Instagram follow lists.

And then it hit me: I wasn’t made to make my name known.

No.

I was made to make His name known.

Jesus.

The son of God who was 30 years old when he started his ministry. He was about 33 years old when he died for our sins, saving all of humanity from death if they simply believe.

Jesus wouldn’t have made the 30-Under-30 list.

He also wouldn’t have wanted to. He lived a life of obedience in order to exalt His Father and bring glory to the kingdom.

“Jesus, who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

— Philippians 2

I let that truth wash over me. I’m ambitious and driven. I like to set goals and achieve them. I bet if you're reading this right now, you can probably relate. As Millennials, we may be a part of the selfie generation, known for self-absorption and binge-watching. But we’re also a generation who's witnessed 9/11 and an economic recession firsthand—we’re deeply optimistic and we work hard, believing we can achieve whatever we conceive. These qualities are not inherently bad. We should work hard and work well. We should have dreams.

Except for me, my heart bends much too quickly toward the ever-elusive “success” and away from Christ. I give a lot of weight (like, a lot) to my perceived recognition in the world. I didn’t see the extent of my ambition and approval-longing until recently. That Forbes list stirred something deep within me and reminded me, Oh wow this is where my struggles with body image and perfectionism are actually rooted. In being known and successful and admired.

But these things that I desire are never going to fully satisfy. There will always be another rung of the ladder to climb, another accolade to achieve, another way to improve. The definition of success will continue to evolve—I know because it already has. 

What if I started to make his name known instead? 

To acknowledge the names of these 30-Under-30ers, acknowledge my own name and my own goals, and know that ultimately the name Jesus is above them all.

I want to start viewing my life and viewing my dreams in light of what really matters. I’m getting there. I’ve come a long way since college and first moving to New York City. I’ll have to keep admitting to you, dear readers, that my natural inclination is toward my own success and fame. I still want to make an impact with my words. I want to write a best-selling book, give a TED Talk, and speak to young women about my life and my faith. If I’m honest, I still want those things badly. Except they’re not my everything anymore.

I’m learning to release the white-knuckle grip I’ve had on my plans and goals. I’m trying to live in a way that makes Him known. To cultivate humility, meekness, patience, obedience. These aren’t usually the qualities you read in a 30-Under-30 listing. But I think they’re the qualities that lead to something so much better than what the world tells us is worth living for.

In the words of Frances Chan, I don’t want to “stand before a holy God and rob Him of the glory that was rightfully His.”

I’d like to take a step back from my own striving and goal-checking-off. I’d like to practice surrendering a bit more. I’m going to pray for a humble heart and the ability to remember, at the end of the day, it’s not about me at all. Life just isn’t about my success or whether my name sits on a bookshelf. I’m so glad I have sweet friends who remind me of this on a daily basis. 

So I hope this blog—whether it has 1 view or 1 million views—is a light for you. But more than that, I hope when you read my posts, you walk away thinking of Him, not of me.

Some of Your Favorite Posts This Year

Can you believe this blog is less than a year old? The above photo was taken last winter (by my girl Haruka), when this blog was still just a thought and not something I felt I had the time, energy, or talent to really do. Oh how things can change!

I've been so encouraged by everyone who has reached out to me with support, advice, and above all love. I took a leap by starting this website and committing to being truly vulnerable with you. I can tell you it has been so, so worth it. From connecting with fellow writers during a digital writing intensive to meeting with social media friends in NYC coffee shops, I've been able to share more of my heart this year than any other year yet. And you've shared right back! You've given me bigger hopes and dreams, and I am excited to see what God has in store for each of us in 2016.

In the meantime, catch up on some of my most read posts of 2015 below. Feel free to send me a note if you want to chat. Cheers to 2016! 

Finding Purpose in the Wait

We are all always waiting for something. Waiting for a new job, waiting for a relationship, waiting for health and healing. I'm beginning to see that waiting is an act of utmost faith. 

Meaghan's Story: Famous In His Eyes

My sweet friend Meaghan guest-blogged back in August, opening up her heart and sharing a whole lotta truth bombs. For more of what she's up to, be sure to check out her blog and her Instagram.

But Who Are You?

If someone asked, "Who are you?" what would you say? Answering that question was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Let's set aside the many titles, accomplishments, and possessions we carry and focus on our identity at the core. 

Elise's Story: Strength Through Him

Elise was the first person to reach out to me about sharing her story for my site. She and I talked for hours about her battle with lyme disease and how she's finding true joy in Christ alone. When you're done reading, head to her blog for even more.

The Reason for the Season

The holidays and the new year can be really hard for some of us. I have totally been there! But there's a reason we can have great hope instead.