A Gentle and Quiet Spirit

November 19, 2019 Maggie Getz

Let’s talk about a gentle and quiet spirit.

I can’t really remember a time in my life when I was called “quiet.” Nor have I really been deemed “gentle.” Adjectives like “talkative,” “outgoing,” “independent,” and “ambitious” more typically fit the bill. To this day, I can vividly recall the moment in my freshman high school classroom in which I leaned over in my desk to talk to a friend in the row next to me. My desk promptly fell over, with me still in it, much to my teacher’s and my own dismay.

Talkative? Check.

So you can imagine why in all the years I’d heard the phrase “gentle and quiet spirit,” I simply brushed it aside.

I’ve been slowing reading through 1 Peter the past few weeks, and In 1 Peter 3, the apostle Peter talks about the inward characteristics that make a woman beautiful. Rather than focusing on the physical and the external, Peter emphasizes how much God cares about the heart. In fact, he names one quality in particular:

“Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the weaving of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes.”

— 1 Peter 3:3-4

I like looking at how other versions of the Bible translate this same passage:

“... You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within…” (NLT)

“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” (NKJV)

“... Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit…” (NIV)

Real beauty isn’t defined by a great haircut, jewelry, or clothes. Real beauty is what’s inside the heart—the incorruptible gentle and quiet spirit.

Here's where I think we get tripped up. Peter isn’t saying women cannot wear jewelry. He isn’t saying women cannot be perceived as physically pretty. What he’s saying is that your beauty cannot rule you. Our physical attributes fade away. They die with our bodies on this earth.

God is after the internal.

Godly womanhood is imperishable. It’s the kind of beauty that lasts a lot longer than any waterproof mascara.

But, How on earth can I measure up to this gentle, quiet woman? That’s not me. I’m the chatty one, the one who got in trouble for talking too much at school.

You might be saying the same thing. Or maybe you’ve never thought of yourself as having a gentle and quiet spirit because you’re a driven career woman, you speak your mind, and you love talking to other people.

Peter’s description absolutely can be us, extrovert or not.

If we think of the woman Peter describes as simply one who is introverted, soft-spoken, and not ambitious, then we totally miss the point. Gentleness and quietness are qualities you can practice and grow into. They’re traits I’m learning to appreciate more as I get older. Gentleness and quietness are strengths. They’re characteristics of a strong woman of the Lord. Jesus was described as gentle. And gentleness is a fruit of the spirit.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

— Galatians 5:22-23

Recently God’s been showing me why gentleness and quietness are beautiful—and how I can actually be that while still being chatty and outgoing.

At the core, these characteristics are defined by a reliance on God.

A quiet soul trusts the Lord. A quiet soul gives control to God and knows His ways are best. A quiet soul is not anxious or worried. A quiet soul is content in Christ alone. A quiet soul submits to the Father.

If you look back a few verses in 1 Peter 3, you’ll see how Peter describes the beauty of submission: submitting to your husband and ultimately submitting to the Lord.

That is the quietness that makes us beautiful.

I can easily fixate on outward beauty. I enjoy fashion and makeup. I like physical activity and eating well. I know God wants us to steward our bodies responsibly and in a way that honors Him. But we’re not to honor our physical bodies more than Christ. When clean eating, exercise routines, meal planning, and my shopping budget get bigger than God, it’s a problem. When my hair, makeup, clothing, shoes, and the definition of my ab muscles take up more brain space than Christ, I have a major issue.

Where is my heart in all of this?

When I’m concerned with those above things, I’m a woman striving, competing, and placing hope in my physical body. That doesn’t sound like a gentle and quiet spirit at all. That sounds like a woman who’s stressed out and worried way too much about the temporal. God doesn’t see that as beautiful.

Beauty is a woman whose heart loves, trusts, and finds full satisfaction in the Lord.

What if we lived in a world where Instagram likes were determined solely by a person’s heart? Where holiness outweighed physical beauty every single time?

I think we can start to create that kind of world. But we have to encourage one another. We have to keep returning to God’s Word to know the truth when we’re bombarded with everything but. The culture we live in doesn’t want to equate beauty with a gentle and quiet spirit. You can’t sell a gentle and quiet spirit.

Framing beauty in the way Peter describes is so much better. There’s something incredibly freeing about it. We don't have to get stuck on the merry-go-round of culture's ever-changing beauty ideals. God's definition of beauty isn't changing. It's from the heart.

We can pray for a heart that matches the Lord's. A heart that rests in Him. A woman fully at peace because her hope is in her King. There's nothing more beautiful than that.

If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life.

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

Why I'm Not Losing Weight for My Wedding

May 29, 2018 Maggie Getz

*Photo by my lovely sister, Katie Niemiec*

We are 2 weeks away from getting married as I write this post. I've lost all hope of focusing on anything else during the next 14 days. We are so very excited and cannot wait to be husband and wife.

According to most bridal magazines, women's websites, and social media influencers, I should be hard at work to make sure I'll look my very best on the big day. I should be amping up my workout routine, focusing especially on my arms, shoulders, back, abs, and butt. I should be changing my diet, eating "cleaner" and preventatively dropping the weight that I'll surely put on as a newlywed. By now, I should have already considered fillers for my forehead lines, chemical peels to eradicate any acne, and regular facials to ensure my skin is on-point.

Oh, and one week before my wedding, a popular beauty magazine instructs that I should:

"Cut out salt, dairy, sugar, and bread. Oh, and booze. Sorry! It is all in the name of depuffing."

Okaaaaay then.

I should feel completely overwhelmed with the number of to-dos I'm supposed to be managing.

Praise God, I don't.

I have adopted a waxing schedule, and I've been getting regular haircuts. Other than that, I haven't done much outside of the ordinary. I definitely felt the pressure when we first got engaged to start working on myself. I'd be lying if I said I don't want to look my best on June 8. I want to look and feel my most beautiful, of course!

Today I feel the most beautiful I've ever felt, and I've done the complete opposite of almost all the "suggested" courses of action. After years of struggling with an at-one-point life-threatening eating disorder, I've experienced healing and restoration in so many ways. The thing that could have derailed my entire life is what God used to set me on the right track. His track.

Since moving to Nashville a year and a half ago, I feel like I've been coming back to life. I never expected to move here, but God plucked me out of NYC, brought me here, and connected me with the most amazing eating disorder dietitian and counselor. He placed me at an incredible church, grew my relationship with Charles, and brought more freedom into my life than I knew was possible.

If you go back to 2015 and read this blog when I first started, I think you can see it. This blog was my diary of sorts. it still is, but today God gives me the words from His word. I was a different person at 25... and certainly at 24, 23, and 22... than I am today at 28. The woman I was then was not in a place to get married. Today I am prepared and beyond excited to make this covenant with Charles. God has grown me in amazing ways.

For this growth to happen, I've had to let go. one of the biggest things I've had to let go of is my weight. Surrender my weight and that number, surrender my jean size, my food choices, my grocery list, my exercise routine, my innate tendency to be go go go. I've had to give up the things I held tightly to for so long and things I let define me in many ways.

I liked when people said, "You're so skinny," and "You could be a model" and "I wish I could look like you. What's your secret?"

My secret was a life-threatening eating disorder called anorexia.

I held those affirmations very closely. That was part of my identity.

But when Jesus enters your life, there's no room for double identities. To know who I am, I have to look to Him. This isn't something that happened overnight. This is years of God knocking on the door of my heart:

"Hey, Mags, I have better for you. This isn't you. I have a whole full life for you. But you've got to give me all of you."

Slowly, I gave Him pieces of my life. Leaving NYC and the active lifestyle that helped keep me at an artificially low weight, as well as an environment that rewarded that, was a huge step. Now, my recovery is the best it has ever been. I know the Lord has been building me up, and the only way I've begun to be the woman He's designed me to be is by gaining weight.

Weight restoration has brought life behind my eyes again. Weight restoration has cleared my brain fog and provided clarity in my thoughts. Weight restoration has given me confidence, self-esteem, and empowerment. Weight restoration has brought joy to my life. It has prepared me to be a wife to Charles—to serve him and serve God, not be mastered by the eating disorder. Weight restoration is setting me up to hopefully have a baby and be a mom one day.

So today I'm not losing weight for my wedding. I'm restoring it. I'm putting on any of the weight I was always designed by God to have. I'm continuing to push forward in my recovery even when the world is telling me to to do the opposite. And it's tough! But I know He didn't create me to be obsessed with my body, my plate, my wardrobe. He created me for far greater things than that. My pride pales in comparison to the beauty God has in store.

I believe I would never have experienced this abundant life without saying to God,

"Okay, Lord. You can have this. Take the weight, take my body, my life. I'm Yours. If an abundant life means 5, 10, 20, or however many more pounds, then, God that's what I want."

When I stand next to Charles and before Christ on our wedding day, I will praise Him for the eternal life we have in Him. We have a great hope and a future that's secure—that has nothing to do with my body size or shape.

If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life.

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

Beauty From the Inside Out

August 2, 2017 Maggie Getz

Let’s talk about a gentle and quiet spirit.

Talkative? Check.

So you can imagine why in all the years I’d heard the phrase “gentle and quiet spirit,” I simply brushed it aside.

“Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the weaving of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes.”

— 1 Peter 3:3-4

I like looking at how other versions of the Bible translate this same passage:

“... You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within…” (NLT)

“... Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit…” (NIV)

Real beauty isn’t defined by a great haircut, jewelry, or clothes. Real beauty is what’s inside the heart—the incorruptible gentle and quiet spirit.

God is after the internal.

Godly womanhood is imperishable. It’s the kind of beauty that lasts a lot longer than any waterproof mascara.

But, How on earth can I measure up to this gentle, quiet woman? That’s not me. I’m the chatty one, the one who got in trouble for talking too much at school.

Peter’s description absolutely can be us, extrovert or not.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

— Galatians 5:22-23

Recently God’s been showing me why gentleness and quietness are beautiful—and how I can actually be that while still being chatty and outgoing.

At the core, these characteristics are defined by a reliance on God.

If you look back a few verses in 1 Peter 3, you’ll see how Peter describes the beauty of submission: submitting to your husband and ultimately submitting to the Lord.

That is the quietness that makes us beautiful.

Where is my heart in all of this?

Beauty is a woman whose heart loves, trusts, and finds full satisfaction in the Lord.

What if we lived in a world where Instagram likes were determined solely by a person’s heart? Where holiness outweighed physical beauty every single time?

We can pray for a heart that matches the Lord's. A heart that rests in Him. A woman fully at peace because her hope is in her King. There's nothing more beautiful than that.

If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life.

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

What Does The Bible Say About Body Image?

May 9, 2017 Maggie Getz

I’ve been thinking about this blog post for a long time. I haven’t written it because, well, there’s so much to say. I’ve written plenty on body image in the past, but not always from a Biblical standpoint. I’ve written about honoring our bodies and how to talk to a friend who has an eating disorder. I’ve encouraged us to quit dictating the morality of food and to forget about weight loss resolutions.

But talk about the Gospel and how that affects body image?

It’s a tougher topic entirely.

A writer at Christianity Today had this to say about the issue:

“Every time a woman turns on the television, strolls past a magazine aisle, watches the numbers rise on the scale, or spots that first gray hair, the battle wages on.

I cannot speak to the experience of men, but studies show that men fight this battle too. Images of six-pack abs, athletic builds, trendy clothes, and perfectly styled hair are all over the media…and if we're being honest, in many an evangelical pulpit.

For these two reasons—physical and spiritual—Christians need pastors to talk openly and thoughtfully about body image. The problem is, very few are doing this.

I can only speculate about why church leaders are largely silent about body image. Perhaps it's seen as a ‘women's issue,’ whereas the majority of pastors are men. Perhaps the topic is just too sensitive. Perhaps it speaks to a theology more concerned with the spirit than the body. Or perhaps it is an idol so entwined in Christian culture that we hardly even notice it.”

I definitely notice it, and if you’re reading this, I bet you do, too.

I thought moving from New York City to the Nashville area would mean I’d escaped the pressures of an image-focused and success-hungry society. That has been true to some extent. But the reality is the same across America: We are hyper-focused on our bodies. We are bombarded with images and headlines on a daily basis that tell us what to look like, what to eat, and how to work out.

Christians are not immune to this. I’ve heard beautiful, Godly women many times compare their diets and discuss the things they don’t like about their bodies. Men may not be talking about their body dissatisfaction in the same way, but body image is still a part of their lives.

So while I am not a pastor, I am a woman of the Word and a woman who loves the Lord. I’m also a woman who has experienced the deep pain and destruction of an eating disorder and poor body image—and the immense healing a relationship with Christ brings.

Throughout my years of struggle with food, exercise, and body image, the thing that has brought me the most comfort and encouragement is the Word of God. My identity is rooted in Him. When we accept Christ and live our lives for Him, that changes everything—including body image.

Paul writes in his first letter to Timothy,

“for the training of the body has a limited benefit, but godliness is beneficial in every way, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. ”

— 1 Timothy 4:8

This verse always stands out to me. It’s been helpful for me whenever I think “I just ate [insert “bad” food here] so I better [insert strenuous exercise] to burn those calories.” That sort of thinking is not the way God created us! I cannot stress this enough. That thinking comes straight from the devil. It tempts us and tricks us; it certainly doesn’t make us more like Christ.

Exercise is an amazing thing when done with a joyful heart and a true approach to health. But when exercise impedes your holiness, it’s time to take a step back. Reading the Word and praying has to come before time at the gym. Physical fitness and clean eating are not number-one priorities in God’s book, despite what culture may have us believe. We don’t need to work out six days a week, or sculpt six-pack abs, or force ourselves to run a 10K when we don’t even enjoy running. Those actions don’t make us healthy. God has created us with a beautiful mind, body, and spirit. Physical training of the body can only go so far when it comes to eternal life. I don’t know about you, but I don’t picture weight machines in heaven. Godliness, on the other hand, is with us for forever.

How much time do we think Jesus spent meal prepping, pondering his next workout, or deciding what He was going to wear? If I had to guess, I’d say approximately zero percent of His time was spent on this. He knew His Father would provide. He was concerned with His ministry and fulfilling the Father’s will. He wasn’t stressing about such relatively insignificant things as weight and clothing.

We know through through the book of Matthew that Jesus said,

“This is why I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky: They don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they? Can any of you add a single cubit to his height by worrying?... For the idolaters eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you. Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6: 25-27, 32-34)

I love this picture Jesus gives us so much. Life is more than food and the body more than clothing. And God provides what we need.

Over and over in the Bible, we see God using the small and the weak. He picks the most unexpected people and utilizes them to advance His kingdom. He’s not looking for the people who look good and seem successful by societal standards. He’s looking for the people who love Him with all their heart.

Think of David, who becomes King of Israel and whose line leads to Jesus.

“But the LORD said to Samuel, ‘Do not look at his appearance or his stature, because I have rejected him. Man does not see what the LORD sees, for man sees what is visible, but the LORD sees the heart.’”

— 1 Samuel 16:7

One of David’s seven older brothers would have been the logical choice for King. Yet the Lord chose David, the youngest and smallest, who was out tending to sheep at the time. David, the one who no one took a second look at.

We don’t have to look a certain way for God to see us or use us. What God cares about more than anything is our hearts. When I find myself tempted to restrict my food intake or believe the lie that I am weak because I don’t adhere to a regular exercise routine, I try to remind myself of this verse. What is my heart motivation behind eating healthy and exercising? What drives me to do these things—godliness or something else like public perception, approval, physical beauty?

Don’t you yourselves know that you are God’s sanctuary and that the Spirit of God lives in you? (1 Corinthians 3:16)

I pray I honor the Spirit within me by treating my body with love, kindness, and respect. I know that when I stand before God on judgment day, He won’t ask me about my dress size or how fast I can run a mile.

From the very first book of the Bible, we see that:

“God created mankind in His own image; in the image of God He created them, male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27)

God created us in His image.

The Creator of the universe, the almighty, all-knowing, and all-powerful Father, is perfect. He created us to reflect His image. That means He created us perfectly, too.

He created us in a remarkable and wonderful way. He knit us together in our mother’s womb before we were born. Psalm 139 reminds us of how much the Father cares for us in the way He created us. Our bodies, our minds, our personalities are all from God. They are not an accident. I believe God designed us exactly as we are—what we view as flaws are precious in His eyes. That extra skin around the waist of your jeans, those strong and muscular calves, that thick and curly hair, those smile lines around your mouth and eyes—all are beautiful in His eyes.

If God sees us as precious and beautiful, and we care about His opinion more than anyone else’s, then why wouldn’t we see ourselves as precious and beautiful, too?

If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life.

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.