For When You're Feeling Anxious

I’ve been a worrier for as long as I can recall. Back in middle school, I sometimes would have a difficult time falling asleep because I was too worried about the next day’s test or presentation. I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. There was one time a few classmates and I supposed to go on a special field trip downtown; I was so nervous to go that I literally made myself feel sick the day of the trip. High school brought a whole new set of worries, with sports and college and boys. I was even worried I’d be bad at the whole dating thing, and I stopped dating a nice boy because of it. (Don't worry—it worked out for the best.)

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me. He delivered me from all my fears.”

— Psalm 34:4

Worry and anxiety have been a big part of my story and how Christ drew me to Himself. 

I’ve had to learn how to manage my stress levels. Living in New York City for four years presented its own set of challenges, and while I live in a more peaceful environment now, I know anxiety may be something I’m always prone to if I’m not mindful of it.

We all face anxiety. Many of us are often managing worry and fear on a daily basis. The reality of stress is hard to escape. We talk so much about taking care of our health by eating well and exercising, yet we practically glorify stress. Being busy is a badge of honor. And honestly, the whole “hustle” mentality sounds great until your body breaks down.

I heard once that worry is an insult to God. It’s so true. Worry, at its core, reflects a sense of pride. Worry says, “I’m worried because I’m in control and I know what’s best.”

The only way to stop worry in its tracks is to recognize we are not in control. 

We can’t figure it all out.

And we don’t have to.

If you are a Believer—if you’ve repented and called Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior—then you have a hope greater than this world. 

(If you’re not sure where you’re at with Jesus, would you take a minute to read this? He wants a relationship with you, and that’s the only way your worry will ever truly subside.)

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ this is The Lord’s declaration. ‘Plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’”

— Jeremiah 29:10

Even as Christians, we are going to struggle. We live in a broken world, so naturally we still face worry and anxiety. Yet with Christ, we can trust He has us in His hands. He has a plan. He gives us a future, even when our future here on earth looks bleak. Life is more than what we can currently see.

We’ll face stress, no doubt. But Jesus is the difference-maker. He allows us to cope and defeat these feelings so they don’t knock us out.

When I’m feeling especially anxious, I have to remind myself to talk to God.

I say something like this:

“Father, I thank you so much for your truth that helps me stay grounded when I’m struggling. Your Word is so clear that we are not to be anxious about anything. We are to run to you! I am so grateful you are a God who cares deeply and intimately about all the details of our lives.

I confess I get anxious. I worry. I fear. That fear is not of you. That’s my own distrust of you and selfish focus on my own ways. Right now I’m anxious about these things...”

Then I write down every little thing that’s on my mind and has my stomach in knots. Truly everything: My to-do list. My job responsibilities. My bills. My savings account. My health. My living situation. My relationship status. My family. My friends. My pesky rosacea. (Yes, you can add skin conditions to your list, too.)

The things that worry you might be similar to what worry me, or they might be completely different. All that matters is that you examine that list and realize how small each of these things is in light of God. In light of eternity. In light of our great commission. That list seems big and long and stressful. But guess what?

God knows the answers to all of these things we worry about.

He is paving the way.

Pray that God would give you a spirit of trust not of fear. Pray for patience and a full reliance on Him. Pray for a heart that’s more like His.

This is a process and a practice. I have to continue confessing and taking my worries, however big or small, to the King. I have to ask that He keep my eyes fixed on Him. I look at my list and find comfort in the fact that God has a plan for all of it.

These stressors force me to turn to Him. He’s the perfect One, not me. Stress and anxiety keep me reliant on Him rather than myself. They remind me I cannot do it all, and I cannot live this life alone. 

The more I focus on Him, the better I sleep, the less intimidating my list looks, and the more content I feel. Think about Jesus, all He's done for you, and the life He guarantees you when you run to Him. Do that, and I know your worries will subside. 

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

The Best Books and Studies For Whatever You're Going Through

I'm always on the hunt for new books and enjoy settling in for a good read. The titles below are ones that have helped me through many different seasons of life. I hope they are as encouraging and challenging for you as they have been for me. 

Any books you've read recently that I should add to my list? Let me know in the comments below!

Deepen Your Relationship

The Meaning of Marriage

I recommend this book to everyone I know, whether single, dating, engaged, or married. My boyfriend and I read through it together when we first starting dating, and it's a game-changer. You can also purchase the corresponding study guide. 

Mingling of Souls

Matt Chandler's marriage book focuses on Song of Songs, an Old Testament book often referred to for its teachings on sex. You'll learn about God's design for sex, dating, marriage, and much more in an easy-to-read (yet thought-provoking) format. 

Move Forward After a Broken Heart

It's Not You, It's God 

Technically not a book or a study, but this article from Desiring God really helped me experience healing a few years ago and recognize that a true sense of closure comes from the Lord alone.

Passion and Purity 

Elisabeth Elliot's life story is a remarkable one. Definitely look it up if you're not familiar. She's written countless books, and this one is specifically for singles (both men and women) on surrendering your relationships to Christ's control. 

Heal from Destructive Behaviors

How People Change

I went through a chunk of this workbook during my time in counseling in New York City. If you're looking for Biblical-based help to turn from sin and start anew, this is it.

Grow in Community

Life Together

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote this book based on his time in an underground seminary during the Nazi occupation of Germany. Life Together instilled in me the importance of Christian fellowship and the reminder we cannot do this life alone. 

Make Disciples

Growing Up

Become a disciple who makes disciples. Pastor Robby Gallaty (my pastor) wrote this practical guide to growing in your faith and starting a discipleship group for the very first time. It includes a Bible reading plan, accountability questions, how to share your faith, and more. You'll find even more resources and tools online here. 

Live in Freedom

Wild and Free

I read and helped lead a women's study on this book last summer. The book helped each of us experience encouragement and hope and step into the women that God created us to be. Click here to download the leader's guide. 

Strengthen Your Prayer Life

Prayer

Another favorite from Tim Keller, this one helped me structure my prayers and make them more meaningful. It's a book you'll want to read with complete focus and attention. 

A Praying Life

I haven't read this book yet, but I've heard it's an incredible way to help you connect with God and experience great joy in prayer.

Act Courageously

Anything

Jennie Allen is the real deal. If you want to live out your faith and step boldly into what God might be calling you to, then this is the book for you. Be sure to take advantage of the study guide at the back, too. 

Practice Evangelism

Turning Everyday Conversations into Gospel Conversations

We're reading through this book at work and each week, practicing what it looks like to share the Gospel. The "three-circles method" explained here can help you transition your daily conversations into more meaningful discussions about Christ.  

Understand How Faith and Work Intersect

Every Good Endeavor

How does my career fit into God's design for my life? What's the point of work? How do I serve God if I'm not called into full-time ministry? Pick up this book to get answers to these questions and more.

Recognize God's Love for You

Crazy Love

God loves you relentlessly, and He wants a relationship with you. If you're continually striving for things and nothing ever seems to satisfies, maybe it's time to fall in love with the Lord. 

Study the Bible More Effectively

Women of the Word

The book's subtitle is "How to Study the Bible with Both Our Hearts and Our Minds," and I can't describe it any better than that. Jen Wilkin is a powerhouse Bible study leader; I recommend this book to men and women alike.

A Few More Recommendations

The Broken Way (This one's been on my list for a while! Ann Voskamp is amazing.)

Disciplines of a Godly Man (Obviously have not read this one myself.)

Gospel in Life studies

How to Read the Bible for All It's Worth

Seamless (I heard Angie Smith speak at a women's conference this year. She became a Christian later in life, and I love her honesty, humor, and the way she always points back to the Word.)

What Is the Gospel?

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

Look at the Wildflowers

Seek first His kingdom.

Jesus’ words in Luke 12 struck me as I read them this past week. You may recognize the passage, often labeled “The Cure for Anxiety.” Do not worry, do not be anxious. God will provide. 

The way The Message paraphrases* verses 22-32 really hits home for me. 

“He continued this subject with his disciples. “Don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or if the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your inner life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the ravens, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, carefree in the care of God. And you count far more.

“Has anyone by fussing before the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? If fussing can’t even do that, why fuss at all? Walk into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They don’t fuss with their appearance—but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the wildflowers, most of them never even seen, don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?

“What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself.””

For life is more than food and the body more than clothing… Seek first His kingdom.

That sounds great and all, but do I live my life like that? Do I believe this to be true?

I’m working on it, but it can definitely be a struggle for me. 

We’re not born worrying. We’re not born fussing about the things of life, afraid that we won’t be provided for. When do we go from trusting to thinking that we have to figure everything out for ourselves? When does this shift happen in our lives? 

During my week at camp this summer, I learned a lot from the 15-year-old girls in my cabin. Yes, these girls had worries and anxiety. They worried about the things most high schoolers worry about: grades, sports, boys, college, the future. I could relate to them in that way.

But there was something different about them. These girls had just finished their freshman year of high school. They’d experienced more adult situations and more pressure than I ever did at their age, and yet, they still had this untouched quality about them. A childlike faith. 

They believed, and they trusted. 

The place where I noticed this the most might surprise you. 

Whenever we went to the cafeteria, I noticed a difference between these girls and some of the adult leaders. The girls weren’t worried about the quality of the food prepared, the calories consumed, or the nutritional content of what they were eating. They ate what was provided for them, recognizing we were only at camp for a week and if that meant eating a PB&J sandwich every day at lunch, then so be it. 

Meals at the adult table tended to look a bit different. Complaints over the taste of the food. Concern over eating too much fat or carbs or sugar. The decision to eat a meal separate from what was provided in order to stick to a diet or disordered eating habits, or to quiet the fear of consuming whatever food had been provided. 

Eventually I ate all my meals with my high school girls. I wanted their ease; I didn’t want to “fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes.” To do so would have been a waste of energy and brain space. 

Yet we do the exact same thing in life.

We let fear hold us captive.

We complain, we fret, and we stress. We fail to trust God with our day-to-day. We think we know what’s best, and we like to be in charge. 

The camp cafeteria is one small example of how fear and worry can lead us astray. 

Please don’t interpret this as me saying that you should not eat healthy or that you should not spend any time thinking about what to serve for dinner. Steward the physical body you’ve been given well. But remember that it’s temporal. We cannot control all of our health outcomes by the food we eat—just like we cannot control our life outcomes solely by our five-year plan. 

Has anyone by fussing before the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? If fussing can’t even do that, why fuss at all?

Has worrying about your bank account caused it to increase? Has worrying about your next job willed it to happen? Has worrying about your singleness made a husband or wife fall into your lap?

When I'm stressed about whether I've eaten "healthy," when I'm worried about what my body looks like, when I'm fearful about the amount in my savings account, when I'm anxious about next steps in my career—my first instinct is to figure it out myself. To put a plan of action into place and see to it that my way comes to fruition. 

I'm learning to say instead, "God, thy will be done." His will, not mine. 

And it's a process. I want to trust myself first. The root of my fear and worry is pride. Heck, the root of every sin is pride. As a certified worrywart, that's something I've had to come to terms with recently. My worry is a lack of trust. It's relying more on myself than on God. 

It's believing I can be perfect, and I can check off every box, rather than me choosing to serve the only One who is perfect. 

But God reminds me to look at how the wildflowers grow. They don’t labor or toil. He knows what the flowers need. How much more will He do for you and me?

“The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the Word of our God remains forever.”

— Isaiah 40:8

I’m praying for a childlike faith—a craving for the pure spiritual milk of the Word and growth into the woman God wants me to be. The more time I spend talking to God and reading what He has to say, the more I see what really matters—a relationship with Him—and that my worrying about X, Y, or Z doesn’t change a thing.

Look to the wildflowers, friend. Look to the wildflowers and trust.

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*Please note: I called The Message version of the Bible a paraphrase because that’s really what it is. I like it, and I’ve used it many times. I think it can be a useful tool to understand the Bible in today’s context. It’s also great way to get started reading the Bible. 

My bit of advice is that you don’t let it be your only exposure to God’s Word. Utilize commentaries and study Bibles, but first, take God’s Word on its own and soak it up. Think about how it applies to you, rather than automatically asking someone or something else how it should apply. 

Looking for a solid Bible? I am a big fan of the new She Reads Truth Bible, which is the Christian Standard Bible (CSB) version, one that scores high on both readability and accuracy. Not to mention it’s the most beautiful Bible I’ve ever seen! With maps, charts, and reading plans, it’s well worth the $40 price tag.

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

The Time Is Now

“If you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will come to the Jewish people from another place, but you and your father’s family will be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this.” (Esther 4:14)

Perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this.

Have you heard this phrase before? It's one that tends to be thrown around and shows up on a variety of mugs, towels, and graphic prints. During this past year or so where I've consistently read the Bible and really fallen in love with God's Word, I've learned the stories behind popular verses like this one. My friend Laurel is an incredible artist, and one of the things I love so much about her work is that she never throws a phrase onto a product just for the heck of it. She prays over everything she hand-letters, and she explains the "why" behind it.

Because these words are not simple words. They're God-breathed and given to us divinely through scripture.

Those two sentences in the book of Esther hold so much more weight once we know the story.

Esther is a beautiful—yet ordinary—young Jewish woman. After King Xerxes disposes of Queen Vashti, he begins the search for a new queen. He's completely floored by Esther, and without knowing her true ethnic identity, he gives her a place of honor as new queen. She wins his favor, and he dotes on her with gifts, beauty treatments, and gourmet food. This ordinary woman is now living a life she could have only dreamed of.

The story starts to shift in chapter three. Haman, the king’s adviser, develops a plot to kill the Jews—all men, women, and children—due to their ethnic identity and their worshipping the Lord over the king. (Think about it: This is still happening today. Christians are killed all over the world for their faith.)

Mordecai, a Jewish man and Esther’s cousin, stands firm against Haman. In Chapter 4, he encourages Esther to do the same. Mordecai tells Esther that as a Jewish woman she will not be safe, even as the queen. The palace walls cannot protect her from the massacre Haman is planning. He implores her to act:

“Don’t think you will escape the fate of all the Jews because you are in the king’s palace. If you keep silent at this time, liberation and deliverance will come to the Jewish people from another place, but you and your father’s house will be destroyed. Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this.” (Esther 4:12-14)

Esther rises up and tells Mordecai to assemble all the Jews to fast. After three days of fasting, she will go to the king and talk to him.

“If I perish, I perish,” she says.

She prepares a banquet that both the king and Haman attend, and she boldly asks that both she and her people would be spared. Esther tells the king of Haman’s plot, and Haman is hanged. She then begs the king to revoke Haman’s evil plot against the Jews. King Xerxes allows her to sign an edict in his name declaring that the Jews can defend themselves and be ready against their enemies.

“In every province and every city, wherever the king’s command and his law reached, joy and rejoicing took place among the Jews. There was a celebration and a holiday. And many of the ethnic groups of the land professed themselves to be Jews because fear of the Jews had overcome them.” (Esther 8:17)

Mordecai and Esther take a stand for the Lord. My study bible points out that Esther is a parallel to Jesus. She comes alongside her people and intervenes. And at this time, in the Old Testament, she did not even have the example of Jesus Christ yet! She stands up based on faith and trust in God’s grace.

How much more should we take action having the knowledge that Jesus came, died, and rose for us?

I am not facing death like Esther. Most of us are not. Most of us live quite comfortable lives. God has called us to exactly where we are for His great purpose. We’re called to be bold and to serve others right here, right now.

In Every Good Endeavor, Tim Keller uses the story of Esther to illustrate how our work is not for ourselves. If we work and build, and we stay in that palace we build, we become slaves to it. It's a terrible place to be. Our work and our gifting are given to us to serve others and ultimately the King.

We have to remember that Esther is an ordinary woman. She’s not a minister or teacher. Yet God used her mightily. He wants to do the same with us.

What does that look like practically in your life right now?

I’ve been thinking about the book of Esther and her character throughout this summer. Her story applies to my current season in a few different ways. I've set four goals as I face the second half of 2017:

1.  Work with excellence and with a mindset of service.

Make the time count. My work is not about my resume, my recognition, or my success. It’s about other people and the Lord. Whether your work is in full-time ministry or not, it is meant for service. Think about how your gifts at work and beyond can be used for God.

2. Actively pursue health in mind, body, and spirit.

I want to be the full woman God intended me to be. I pray I surrender total control to him in every area of my life. Give anxiety and worry over to Him, trusting that He has a plan and provision. I want to steward my physical body well and feed my emotional health through time with Him. 

3. Pray with focus, meditate on God’s word, and fast.

Esther assembled her people to fast before she spoke to the King. I won’t be fasting from food given my medical history, but I can fast from other things. I can fast from social media and my phone, for one. Take one day a week to step away. Fasting means intentionally saying no to myself to say yes to more of God. We often see great men and women of God fasting in the Bible. That’s not a coincidence. They were putting their heart and head in a place to hear from God by shutting out the distractions that would get in the way.

Praying with focus goes beyond a quick grace before dinner. Praying with focus is specific conversation with the Lord to help me align my heart with His. This won’t happen unless I’m practicing prayer on a daily basis. And it really is a practice.

4. Take bold steps to share Jesus.

Let us speak the Truth! Sometimes I like to stay in my comfortable bubble where everyone around me is a Christian. I know the Good News of the Gospel, and I desire other people to know it, too. To have a relationship with Jesus that changes their life. Our great commission is to make disciples. I’m praying I would confidentially and without fear share the Name above all names.

The time is now. What will you do with it?

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.