maggie getz

Back in July, when my son was almost four months old, I officially resigned from my full-time marketing job. I had proposed a remote work arrangement with my bosses, but they turned me down. As much as my pride was hurt, I knew in my heart that their decision was for the best. Frankly, I didn’t want to go back to work, and after having five different bosses in a year and a half, I felt my time there had come to a close.

“Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this. ”

— Esther 4:14b

Charles and I had prayed about what I would do once the baby came, and the decision became abundantly clear as I spent weeks at home with our little love. I couldn’t imagine leaving him at home with someone else or enrolling him in daycare.

I knew without a doubt that God called me into motherhood, at this specific time, for His specific purpose. And I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.

I love being a SAHM. I love staying home with my son, and I feel incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to do so. I know this isn’t the case for many moms who desire to stay home but need two incomes to support their families. While, yes, we’ve had to make some financial sacrifices—like continuing to rent rather than buying a home and driving one car rather than two—the choice has been easy. This is what is best for our family.

Yet the prideful, approval-loving part of my heart still felt wounded when I was straight-up told no to my offer to work remotely. Since handing in my resignation letter, I’ve reached out to my editorial contacts to begin writing again, something I very much love to do. I’ve either been denied or ignored, and it’s frustrating.

Working is what I’ve done my whole life—from school to college to full-time career woman in NYC and Nashville. It’s what I know. It’s what’s comfortable. I enjoy working, and I am constantly striving to be “successful.” (Goodness, whatever that means.) I also tend to compare myself to others, so when I’ve been asked what my son and I do all day, I instantly turn from confident to sheepish.

“Well, we wake up, and I nurse him. Then I eat breakfast and try to read the Bible. He usually wants to nap by the time I finish, and he’ll do that for an hour or two. That’s my chance to finish reading, maybe journal, shower, and get ready. Depending on the day, we’ll go to a Bible study or mom’s group, or we’ll stroll Target or hit the grocery store. Pretty soon, it’s lunchtime, then nap time again, and before I know it, I’m prepping dinner. Evenings can be tough, and my baby is usually extra fussy. I might try to take a walk, I might give him a bath and read him a story, and then I put him to bed around 7:30. I crash by 9 or 9:30 p.m.”

I share my answer and then immediately tick off in my mind all the stay-at-home moms I know who also:

Run successful, money-making blogs
Freelance write
Write books
Consult with clients
Teach yoga
Run a styling business
Work remotely for their company
Host a podcast
Cook gourmet meals most nights
Bake homemade desserts most days
Lead Bible studies or discipleship groups

I want to be like those women, too. I want to be uber-productive and more than “just a mom.” Even though I recognize my job is incredibly important and a gift and something I love, I can still feel that tension.

During the last few months of transition, I have felt like I have to somehow justify the statement: “I’m a stay-at-home mom.”

Why? Why do I feel the need to add that but/and statement following my declaration of stay-at-home motherhood? Why do I want to assure people that I have a blog and I write and I do all these other things in addition to momming full-time?

Oh, my pride runs deep. Perhaps you can relate. It took words from my husband to wake me up and realize the truth:

“Mags, you are productive, simply in a different way. You’re producing our son! What could be more important than that?”

I’ve needed to hear my husband’s words, plus the encouragement of other moms and ultimately the encouragement of God’s Word to wake up and realize this is the greatest job I’ve ever had. My husband is right. I’m more productive than I ever have been—but it looks a lot different than writing articles, producing reports, and leading meetings. I’m not getting words of affirmation from coworkers and bosses. There’s no paycheck coming into my bank account every two weeks, no pat on the back for a job well done.

Instead, my feedback is the sound of laughter from my son. The smiles that are so big his dimples pop. The beginnings of words: “Mama.” And yes, many times I get tears and screams and spit-up and blowout diapers. But there’s so much sweetness in that. I’m growing my son from a baby to a boy. Feeding him (a full-time job in and of itself). Cleaning him. Playing with him. Teaching him sounds and words and movements. I have the rest of my life to work outside the home. These days are fleeting.

“Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation”

— 1 Peter 2:2

Just as God birthed His Spirit within me, now He’s birthed my child. He’s given me the privilege of raising him and teaching Him to walk in the Way of righteousness. God has cared for me and held me. He’s sacrificed for me, and He calls me beloved. He looks at me the way I look at my little one—as precious, fearfully and wonderfully made. He’s showing me more of Himself than I ever knew possible through motherhood.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

— James 1:17

I am watching my son now as I type these. He’s rocking in his swing, chewing on a teething toy, and smiling at me with that adorable gummy grin. It warms my heart in a way I’ve never known before. Thank you, Father, for this good and perfect gift.

Becoming a mother, and a stay-at-home mom at that, has been both the hardest and greatest thing I’ve ever done. Or rather, that God has done for me. God is using motherhood to refine me every single day. He’s molding me and helping me see more of His character. He’s making me more like Him, through all the diaper changes and tears and sleepless nights along the way. God is holding my hand, sustaining me in this new season and reminding me of His goodness to provide this precious child to us.

I am my son’s caregiver, teacher, provider, and nurturer. I am his mother, and I am so, so thankful.

Father, give me joy and peace in my new calling, knowing my identity rests in You alone, Lord. Not a job title or paycheck, not more blog posts or more freelance work. In Christ alone. Thank you for Your faithfulness. Thank you for making me a momma. Help me to trust You in all areas of my life. Help me to disciple my son. Use me to be a light and bring glory to your Kingdom. I pray all this in Jesus’ name, Amen.

God’s bigger picture is so much grander than my small anxieties.

He’s provided in countless ways, and I think sharing that with you is important. I don’t know what you’re going through in life right now. But what I do know is that He is working, even when things look hopeless. Please trust me in that.

Two weeks ago, I was upset with God. My subletter for my NYC apartment decided she was moving out—10 days after moving in. I instantly went to a place of fear and distress. I couldn’t afford to pay rent on that apartment, in addition to my rent here in Nashville. And I got mad at God because all I wanted was to feel settled here. How could I root into my new life when I was still so physically and financially tied to my life in New York?

I did what I do best and strategized my way through the problem. I posted about the apartment on every platform possible, spreading the word to everyone I knew. And the demand was high. Countless women from countless walks of life wanted my room. Still, I worried these women wouldn’t be the right fit for my old roomie. The situation was a dark cloud looming over me.

And the thing is: I could do very little. I had to trust God. I had to let Him work while I prayed and believed in His provision.

I was reminded by those closest to me that the Lord so clearly called me to Nashville. He wouldn’t leave this major piece of the puzzle unsolved. He provided once; he would provide again.

Provide He did. He went above and beyond this time, giving my old roommate a fellow Believer, a sweet girl that she clicked with right off the bat. He provided this within a week of starting the search. I didn’t have to pay double rent because God came through.

Why did I even doubt in the first place?

The Lord keeps showing up. It’s a cycle of me worrying, Him providing, and me being all, Wow, why did I ever distrust Him?

I live alone here in Tennessee. I thought it would be hard to be myself, yet it’s actually been refreshing and fun. My apartment complex has a tennis court. I’ve hit the pavement for the first time in years. And it feels awesome. I also now drive a car—I own said vehicle. I own a car! It is crazy and awesome. God brought me to a dealership full of fellow Christians who truly wanted to help me and not wheel and deal me. I love my car, I love driving, and I no longer fear the road like I did when I first moved here. Huge praise for that.

I am meeting a lot of wonderful people here in Tennessee. They are genuinely kind and welcoming, and I believe strong friendships are on the horizon. I’ve prayed for just one Godly man and one Godly woman to enter my life and my boyfriend’s life. People we can be friends with but who also hold us accountable, challenge us, and strengthen us in our faith. He’s putting people into our lives with the potential to be those very people for us. And he’s put us in a church body of incredibly strong men and women who believe in the Bible and strive to walk in it every day.

Praise God.

One month into my job, and I couldn’t be happier. While working in ministry is a pretty big shift, the transition has been easier than I anticipated. It feels like this is where I was always supposed to be. I’m using my giftings to engage the church, share the Gospel, and be salt and light to the world. I know there will be plenty of challenges in working at a church, but right now I am thrilled to have the opportunity to do God’s work in my 9-to-5.

In transitioning to Nashville, I knew it would be important to have a counselor near by to help me continue on the road to full freedom and be available whenever new temptations and stressors arise. After weeks of frustration over connecting with someone who is qualified, accepting new patients, and the right fit for a counseling relationship, I found someone. A new friend of mine recommended her nutrition counselor to me, and I can already tell meeting with her is going to be a really healthy step for me. She’s an expert in her field, and we connected instantly on the phone. Oh, and she’s a Believer.

I prayed about each of these things. I wanted them to happen on day one of moving here. I wanted to essentially take my New York life and transplant it here. I expected friends, community, a counselor—heck, even a fully furnished apartment—on day one. That’s not how it’s worked out. And that’s okay. Life is slowly coming together. God’s making me turn to Him and abandon my own control. Yes, that can be annoying at times. Of course, I like to be in charge and d0 things my way. But there’s something so sweet about this process. It’s freeing.

Friend, hear me when I say we don’t have to worry because He will come through. We just have to know that His provision often looks different than what we want or expect. It may look different than what we pray for. I can tell you I never would have asked to struggle with an eating disorder, or to enter treatment eight years ago, or miss my first semester of college. But now that I look back, all of that was truly a blessing because it changed the course of my life. God used that terrible pain and suffering to bring me near to Him and shape me into the woman I am today. He used all of it to take me to Nashville, this job, and this place of growth and gratitude. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.