6 Ways to Make Friends in a New City

We moved to Denver at the end of 2019, leaving behind three years of building up our community in Nashville. Colorado is a completely new environment for us, and we’re in the process of making it our home. We are creating new rhythms for our family and so thankful for this fresh start here. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of waking up to see the mountains each day!

Part of making this our home means making friends. But, how on earth do you do that as a stay-at-home mom? Or in my husband’s case, when you work a busy full-time job? 

I’m no longer sharing a commute with my roommate or chatting with my co-workers at lunch. In fact, my bestie happens to be about 10 months old and likes to nap twice a day. He’s a whole lot of fun, although it is a little hard when he can’t talk back to me (😉). 

Jesus, God himself, had friends—12 disciples in his core group. But three of those men, Peter, James, and John, were his best friends. They were present for moments that the other disciples were not, and they knew Jesus intimately. God demonstrates for us the importance of friendship and reminds us to “stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25) 

A word of hope if you feel lonely right now: God wants to be your friend.

It might sound cliche, but it’s true. You’ll always have a friend in Jesus. In fact, He said it himself:

“This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my father. You did not choose me, but I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce fruit and that you fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he will give you. This is what I command you: Love one another.” (John 15:12-17)

I find that so encouraging. We’re never alone when we have Christ.

Maybe you’re in a new place or a new season of life like me. So let’s get out there together! Here are six ways to make new friends:

1. Check out the local library.

Okay, the library has been my jam. If you’re a mom or dad, you’ve got to get in on the free weekday story time. My son adores the stories, music, and time with other littles. I’m loving the selection of books, audiobooks, and magazines, as well as the discounts on local museums, zoos, restaurants, and businesses. Our library facilitates a number of book clubs for various interests that I’d love to join once Charlie is a little older. Oh, and did I mention it’s all free? 

2. Get involved at your church.

We recently found our church home and are excited about all the opportunities to form community. I’ve been attending a weekly Bible study while my son hangs out in the nursery. There are a lot of other groups at all times of the day and for all life stages, such as Celebrate Recovery, Financial Peace University, and even a Bible journaling class. Being involved in the local church is such a core part of our lives as Christ followers, and how awesome we get to make friends that way, too.

3. Sign up for the YMCA.

You can sign up for any gym, but I really like the YMCA for its plethora of programs and Christ-fueled mission. A family membership is super reasonable and includes the gym, workout classes, a pool, and more, depending on your location. They also offer childcare, which is great if you’re a mom of young children. I’m looking forward to taking some yoga and barre classes and enrolling our son in swim lessons this summer. 

4. Take a class or join a group.

Consider taking a class for something you’ve always wanted to learn. Piano? Cooking? Knitting? There’s a class for that. I’ve had my eye on a pasta-making class at Whole Foods for a while now, and what better friends are out there than fellow Italian food lovers? Eventbrite has no shortage of local events and groups, and I’ve also heard good things about Meetup.com.   

5. Volunteer.

Volunteering is good for you and good for others. Your church is likely connected to various ministries that can use your help. You can also reach out to your local food bank, pregnancy care center, or parks department for more opportunities. Meet others, and live out God’s command to love your neighbor. It’s been a long time since I’ve volunteered, but I’m ready to use my time and giftings to give back.

6. Hang out at the park.

If you have little ones, take them to the park. They’ll get some fresh air and physical activity, while you can chat with other parents. This one may take some stepping outside of your comfort zone. But I’d be willing to bet the other moms or dads are looking for friends just like you. 

How do you make new friends? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below.

Sometimes Life Looks Different Than You Expect (Plus, a Major Life Update)

We took this photo on the top of Independence Pass last June, during our honeymoon trip to Colorado. Charles and I were blissfully happy (I mean, hello, it’s our honeymoon), and married life seemed to be going exactly as we hoped and planned. Little did we know what was to come when we returned to Tennessee.

Charles accepted a job working nights—we were thrilled for the opportunity for him, despite our different schedules. We certainly made the best decision at the time for the two of us. We moved into a new place in the city of Nashville, and shortly thereafter we found out we were expecting. Everything felt exciting and wonderful.

What we didn’t expect was how difficult the next 16 months would be. His night shift job became more and more demanding, with some weeks topping out at 80 hours. Sunday to Thursday, we passed each other like ships in the night, and our weekends were reduced to a few exhausted hours together. We struggled to make friends or community within our church, and we were unable to join the groups or classes that we desired to because of our schedule. Holidays and vacation time were almost nonexistent.

We knew we were still blessed in countless ways. Both in good health, with jobs, an apartment, and plenty of food to eat. Plus a baby on the way! We tried to focus on all the gifts in our life, rather than dwell on the negatives.

Yet the truth is that we were processing through our own version of suffering. We were learning what life looked like when it didn’t go according to plan. You know: When you think you’re driving on a straightaway with the windows down, the sun shining, and no other cars around, and instead you’re stuck in a traffic jam on a stormy day, facing flat tires and engine problems and detour after detour with no end in sight.

And then once our son was born, I felt incredibly joyful—I think God revealed His true purpose for me in motherhood—but also more overwhelmed than I admitted at the time. My hormones were up and down. I was exhausted physically and mentally. I worried about my son all the time. In fact, I didn’t sleep at all the first night home from the hospital out of fear something might happen to him. I wasn’t exactly depressed, but I was definitely dealing with baby blues.

Charles and I both knew something had to change. He’d been searching for jobs since before the baby was born. We kept praying and praying and praying God would change our situation.

The months went on, and I continued processing. I wrestled with what it meant to be a stay-at-home mom, when my identity had been wrapped up in career and achievements my whole life. I felt lonelier that I had in a long time, and I didn’t quite know how to express that to people. I just wanted them to be there for me. Then there was the anger. Oh, the anger. I’ve never really been an angry person, but suddenly I was mad, a lot. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was mad at God.

Lord, why is this our situation? Why does everything have to feel so hard?

And Charles was going through a lot of his own processing, too. Sleep deprivation will do a number on you—not to mention, he rarely saw the light of day, or anything, really, outside the four walls of his workplace.

But God has taught us more through this season than we anticipated. He’s shown us that He is always faithful, always loving, and always good. We’ve pressed into Him when we didn’t know what else to do. We’ve cried out to Him with literal tears and shouts. He’s grown our faith in areas we didn’t know we needed, and He’s reminded us that He is forever after His glory.

I’ve learned I’m not the only one who’s faced difficult situations. I have friends whose husbands work equally long hours, friends whose husbands travel all week, and friends whose husbands have been deployed in the Middle East. I have friends who are longing for a husband or a child and are probably reading this thinking I shouldn’t complain. (They’re right.) I have friends who’ve struggled with infertility or miscarriage. Friends who are walking through depression, anxiety, and grief. Friends with cancer diagnoses. Autoimmune disease. Addiction. The list goes on.

I’ve learned there are people all around us and all over the world who are struggling. Everyone is going through something. We have no idea what people might be experiencing, and we all owe each other a bit of grace and the love of Christ.

Through all of this, I now have a greater understanding that sometimes God allows His people to suffer to bring us closer to Him.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we areyet he did not sin.”

— Hebrews 4:15

He wants our whole hearts and our dependence on Him. He wants our ultimate good and His glory. Through suffering, we see that He is God, and we are not. He is in control. Our suffering allows us to empathize with others. It makes us more like Him. When we are suffering, we are reminded of what Christ went through on the Cross for us. We have a great high priest who was tempted in every way, who suffered more than we ever will so that we can have eternal life. We can trust Him in all situations.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

— Psalm 139:13-14

If you take anything away from this blog post, please let it be that. You are not alone in whatever you’re walking through. You have a Savior who knows you and who knit you together in your mother’s womb. He created you with great purpose. Jesus really does love you, and He wants a real relationship with You.

Will you trust Him?

Trusting in God is the only thing that got us through these past months. I honestly don’t know how our marriage would have survived without our shared foundation of faith in Christ. I know there will be trials in the future, too, but I can say with confidence that God will be with us in them.

And so, after many tears, much prayer, and now wonderful thanksgiving, we can confidently say God has brought us into a new season.

He’s given Charles a new job, and our family is about to get a fresh start. We are moving to Denver, Colorado!

The photo at the top of this blog post has been the background on our computer since our honeymoon. It’s a picture that makes us happy every time we look at it and gave us hope that things would turn around again. We had no idea that God would actually send us out west, to the same state that photo was taken.

We are so excited to begin this new chapter in Colorado. We cannot praise God enough. Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement along the way.

Now onto the Rocky Mountain State!

Another Year in Nashville

Two years in Nashville. I knew without a doubt in 2016 when I bought a one-way ticket from New York, New York, to Nashville, Tennessee, that God called me to Nashville. I had been praying about a move away from New York for a while, but I wasn’t sure what that looked like in reality. Leave it to God to make His will abundantly clear in ways I never expected. He plucked me out of the hustle and bustle of The Big Apple and planted me firmly in the suburbs of Nashville, with a job in full-time ministry.

God took me—a Chicago native, journalism school grad, and NYC magazine editor—and called me to Himself. He used my struggles with an eating disorder to reveal more of Himself to me and to push me toward ultimate, glorious surrender. And you know what? He didn’t stop there. He moved me down south and gave me a ministry job with one of the most incredible church families I’ve ever seen.

Friends, the Lord does big things all around us every day. We had only open our eyes to them.

I never thought Nashville would be home, but here we are two years in and I feel at peace here. There are things I miss about New York, sure. And, of course, I miss my family back in Chicago. Yet at the same time, I sense God doing big things here in me, in my marriage, in my ministry. He’s at work, and He keeps showing me more and more glimpses of Himself.

“This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.”

— Isaiah 30:15

Moving to Nashville has helped me see the value of rest. I’m talking true unplugged, soul-renewing rest. Easier said than done, but the theme of rest is a constant one in my life. It often means going against what we hear in our culture. To really rest, I have to disconnect from social media and set aside rules about what I “should” be doing.

Do you ever feel that way, too? In the past two years, God has continually reminded me that what I need is Him. That’s what we all need. Not a new house, a better job, more money, or to finally meet that significant other. When we let our soul rest in Him and Him alone, life finally starts to make sense.

I listened to a sermon from The Village Church today, and Pastor Matt Chandler shared this C.S. Lewis quote:

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” ”

That’s exactly what I feel God’s been teaching me in these 24 months of living in Nashville. Without Jesus, this life means nothing. We were made by Him to live our lives for Him.

Charles and I got married this year—but marriage doesn’t fully satisfy. We moved into a bigger apartment in a better location—but this earthly home doesn’t satisfy. I started a new job at a startup in a role I knew God wanted me to step into—but my career doesn’t satisfy. These things are good things and total blessings. I don’t take them for granted. The truth of the Gospel helps me keep them in their rightful place, well below a relationship with Our Father—the only One who ever truly satisfies.

I’ll continue praying about this for as long as I live in Nashville and as long as I live. Lord, fix my eyes on You and give me that kind of soul-satisfying contentment that only You can.

If you ever doubt where you are in life, feel like you’re falling behind or like you just can’t seem to get it together, know that He already has it together, and He accepts you exactly as you are. He’s got this, my friend. Follow His call, and I promise you the rest will follow.

“The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.”

— 1 Thessalonians 5:24

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

One Year in Nashville

I’ve lived in Nashville for an entire 365 days, and I officially say “y’all” more than “you guys.”

I can’t quite believe I packed my bags, left New York City, and bought a one-way ticket to Nashville, Tennessee, just over one year ago. That simultaneously feels like yesterday and yet also feels like a lifetime ago. I miss many things about New York City. I miss my community there (although many of those friends have now left the city and scattered throughout the country). I miss my ability to walk everywhere and do almost anything at a moment’s notice. I miss the hustle and bustle, the fast pace, the city that never sleeps. I miss the art, culture, and fashion everywhere you turn. I miss the street bagels and falafel. I miss calling myself a New Yorker.

But I don’t for one second regret leaving New York City.

I knew in my heart that God called me to Nashville. It was that simple and that complex.

He brought me here for a whole bunch of reasons, including living in the same city as the man I love and beginning a job in full-time ministry. The Lord brought me here, and He’s shown up for me time and time again. I’ve grown more in the past year than the previous years combined. I’m learning what it looks like to really walk with Jesus on a daily basis, to share truth with others, and to let my faith be the rhythm of my life.

“I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

— Philippians 1:6

In this time, God has revealed to me the sin that’s still within me. The deep desires for control, approval, and pride. He’s shown me I still have work to do when it comes to my own healing and recovery—but that He is faithful to finish the good work He began in me.

He’s helped me see the value of rest and of stillness. That while my type-A, perfectionist personality loves to be on the go at all times, often the best place to hear from God is in the quiet. Sometimes I need to get alone with Him and sit in the solitude.

This is the first time in my life I’ve lived alone. The extrovert in me wants people around who I can continually talk and hang out with. But I also relish the way this space is my own, the way I can connect with God however I want. I love that it provides rest.

I’ve rested more in this past year than I have in a very long time. I’ve traded the crazy city life, the gym, and hot yoga for walking in wide open spaces and practicing yoga at home. I’m working on a restored relationship with both food and exercise, so abandoning the high intensity sweat sesh is what I need right now. I’m learning to move in a way that feels good, to eat what’s enjoyable, and to appreciate my body the way God designed it. It’s been a long road for me, but the support God has provided here in Nashville has helped me so much.

“For the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, has said: “You will be delivered by returning and resting; your strength will lie in quiet confidence. But you are not willing.””

— Isaiah 30:15

This summer a friend of mine from New York also made the move to Nashville. She asked me if my stress level decreased since moving. I immediately and emphatically answered heck yes.

Living stress-free is still totally possible in New York City. It takes a lot of intention and discipline, but it can happen. Yet I now know for me personally, for my optimal health and wellbeing, I needed to step away.

Since moving to Nashville, God has shown me the joy of dating His way. He had to end some previous relationships in order to teach me and show me that something way better was just around the corner. He was preparing my heart while preparing my now-boyfriend’s heart. We’ve both seen firsthand how the love of a significant other is a representation of the Gospel. It’s an amazing thing, and if I had not moved to Nashville, if I had not given this man a chance while living and dating in the same city, I don’t know when I would have learned that lesson. And I would have missed out on this great love.

Most of all, in the past year, the Lord has reminded me that I am made in His image.

I am called to live a holy life. It’s clear the Lord purposely plucked me out of my comfort zone of NYC to do some deep work in my mind, body, and spirit. He has a plan for all of this, and it’s a lot bigger than anything I could plot out on my own.

So wherever you’re at right now—whatever emotion you’re feeling, whatever hopes you’re hoping for and whatever dreams you’re banking on—tell them to God. If you don’t feel like you have a relationship with Him, then ask Him to reveal Himself to you. He’ll show up and rock your word.

I know not everyone has a story of reckless faith or radical salvation. Not everyone has the story they thought they would have. It’s okay.

I am right there with you. I could not and would not have written my story this way. But I honestly wouldn’t change it. I’m convinced that God has authored my life like this because He’s using it for His glory. As Christians, He doesn’t call us to a life of happiness. He calls us to a life of holiness and sanctification. Sometimes that means wading through some really rough waters. But He is still good, and He is still faithful.

I have lofty dreams for this blog and for my ministry. I have a feeling He has even bigger things in store over the next 12 months, and I’m excited to watch Him work. I am privileged to get to write in this space and share what I’m learning with each of you on a regular basis. I love this little blog—it means so much you’ve stuck with me through all the transitions and changes. Thank you for showing up.

Here’s to another year!

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.