Another Year in Nashville

Two years in Nashville. I knew without a doubt in 2016 when I bought a one-way ticket from New York, New York, to Nashville, Tennessee, that God called me to Nashville. I had been praying about a move away from New York for a while, but I wasn’t sure what that looked like in reality. Leave it to God to make His will abundantly clear in ways I never expected. He plucked me out of the hustle and bustle of The Big Apple and planted me firmly in the suburbs of Nashville, with a job in full-time ministry.

God took me—a Chicago native, journalism school grad, and NYC magazine editor—and called me to Himself. He used my struggles with an eating disorder to reveal more of Himself to me and to push me toward ultimate, glorious surrender. And you know what? He didn’t stop there. He moved me down south and gave me a ministry job with one of the most incredible church families I’ve ever seen.

Friends, the Lord does big things all around us every day. We had only open our eyes to them.

I never thought Nashville would be home, but here we are two years in and I feel at peace here. There are things I miss about New York, sure. And, of course, I miss my family back in Chicago. Yet at the same time, I sense God doing big things here in me, in my marriage, in my ministry. He’s at work, and He keeps showing me more and more glimpses of Himself.

“This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.”

— Isaiah 30:15

Moving to Nashville has helped me see the value of rest. I’m talking true unplugged, soul-renewing rest. Easier said than done, but the theme of rest is a constant one in my life. It often means going against what we hear in our culture. To really rest, I have to disconnect from social media and set aside rules about what I “should” be doing.

Do you ever feel that way, too? In the past two years, God has continually reminded me that what I need is Him. That’s what we all need. Not a new house, a better job, more money, or to finally meet that significant other. When we let our soul rest in Him and Him alone, life finally starts to make sense.

I listened to a sermon from The Village Church today, and Pastor Matt Chandler shared this C.S. Lewis quote:

“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.” ”

That’s exactly what I feel God’s been teaching me in these 24 months of living in Nashville. Without Jesus, this life means nothing. We were made by Him to live our lives for Him.

Charles and I got married this year—but marriage doesn’t fully satisfy. We moved into a bigger apartment in a better location—but this earthly home doesn’t satisfy. I started a new job at a startup in a role I knew God wanted me to step into—but my career doesn’t satisfy. These things are good things and total blessings. I don’t take them for granted. The truth of the Gospel helps me keep them in their rightful place, well below a relationship with Our Father—the only One who ever truly satisfies.

I’ll continue praying about this for as long as I live in Nashville and as long as I live. Lord, fix my eyes on You and give me that kind of soul-satisfying contentment that only You can.

If you ever doubt where you are in life, feel like you’re falling behind or like you just can’t seem to get it together, know that He already has it together, and He accepts you exactly as you are. He’s got this, my friend. Follow His call, and I promise you the rest will follow.

“The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.”

— 1 Thessalonians 5:24

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

Help Me Make the Blog the Best It Can Be

There’s nothing like the smell of fall in the air to help revitalize you. I haven’t been writing as much these past few months with our wedding and settling into married life, moving into a new place, and taking on more work in my day job. But I have so many ideas in mind for this space, and I am excited to get back to writing in this new season!

I’d love your feedback in making this blog better than ever. Will you fill out the quick survey below? And as always, feel free to leave me a comment or send me a direct message. I can’t wait to hear from you.

Steadfast in Every Season

Back in January, I wrote about my word of the year and why I chose "steadfast."

steadfast (adj.)

(1) Firmly fixed in place: immovable.

(2) Firm in belief, determination, or adherence: loyal.  

"I pray God cultivates steadfastness in me like His son, Jesus. This year, I pray my faith is resolutely firm. I want to be devoted to God no matter the situation or season. His love for us is unwavering—I want that kind of love for Him in return. I know I am prone to worry and anxiety. I like to be in control. But God, I give that to You.  

Lord, help me to stand firm in the faith. Guard me against sin and temptation and keep me focused on you. Give me steadfastness. Endurance for the fight and total surrender to the King.

That's the life I want to live in 2018: steadfast and true."

Here we are, 7 months later, and I need that steadfastness in my life.

I have felt my emotions running the gamut these past few weeks. Anger, frustration, impatience, irritability. I have felt like a hormonal teenager all the time, getting annoyed by the slightest things and allowing a cloud of negativity to hang over my usual sunny self.

Charles and I recently moved, and I find myself rooting my emotions in the state of boxes in our apartment. When our home feels disheveled, so do I. I let my emotions carry me away, rather than anchoring myself in the Father above and the truth I know in Him.

God loves feelings. Jesus Himself experienced the depth of feelings while here on this earth. He knows deep joy and love, grief, anxiety, and empathy like no one else. He understands feelings because He is the One who created them.  

So my feelings are not a bad thing. My feelings are not a problem in the eyes of God. Instead, my feelings are meant to show me more of Him. When I am upset about a messy apartment or frustrated that I can't do things exactly my way, what does that say about my heart?  

I think about Joseph in the book of Genesis. Joseph, whom God loved, was put through situation after situation in which his faith was tested. Yet he never wavered. He followed God, and he credited all to God's righteousness. Joseph was thrown into a pit by his brothers and left to die. Then his brothers changed their minds and sold him as a slave to men passing by. Why let him die when they could prosper off his pain?

Joseph ends up serving Potiphar. Potiphar’s wife demands the young and attractive Joseph have an affair with her. He denies her, and Joseph ends up thrown in prison, hated by both Potiphar and his wife.

God still follows him.  

“But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keepers of the prison… And whatever he did, the Lord made it succeed.”

— Genesis 39

He's respected and given more responsibility than the other prisoners. He helps the chief cupbearer get out of prison—and the cupbearer forgets about Joseph. Two. Whole. Years. Pass.

Finally, the cupbearer remembers Joseph. He gets him out of prison by telling Pharaoh he could interpret his dreams. Joseph explains how Egypt will have 7 years of abundance followed by 7 years of famine, and he helps Egypt prepare for this impending famine. So Pharoah uses Joseph and exalts him to the highest position in his kingdom.

“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”

— 1 Corinthians 15:58

Throughout his entire story—which spans years—we never see Joseph lose his cool. We don't see him freak out in the prison or complain to God.  

In fact, Joseph is the complete opposite. He is steady, he is faithful, he is true.

God is with him in all that he does. Joseph reflects the steadfastness of God, and he’s a symbol of the Messiah to come. He shows what it truly looks like to have unwavering faith that isn’t disturbed by feelings or situation. His example encourages me in this season where my belief falters. From the pit to the prison to the riches in the house of Pharaoh, Joseph walks with God.

What would it look like for us to walk with God, regardless of circumstance? What if we remembered God walks with us even when we don’t feel His presence? I think our lives would look quite different. Our feelings would become more steady. And our emotions would serve as a way to point us to God, not detract us from Him.

“Lord, give me steadfastness like Joseph, like the Father, like Jesus. Keep me steady, peaceful, grateful. Help me walk with You in every situation and season. I pray all these things in Your name. Amen.”

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

7 Things I've Learned in 1 Month of Marriage

It's been a hot minute since I've regularly written in this space. Our wedding and honeymoon were in early June, and I wanted to settle into newlywed life, enjoying every minute with Charles before heading back to the blog. But lucky for you, dear reader, he loves when I write and is my biggest encourager. I am so thankful for him.

We are officially one month into marriage—I can't believe it! I'm by no means a marriage expert (LOL), and I have a lifetime of learnings to do. But in the past few weeks, I've learned a few things worth sharing with you.

1. Marriage is no greater than singleness in the eyes of God.

While I was single, I remember a married friend sharing with me that marriage is absolutely amazing but that it's not the ultimate end goal. She said as a wife, she could be easily distracted by her husband rather than focused on the Lord. Paul echoes this in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35:

“I want you to be without concerns. The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But the married man is concerned about the things of the world—how he may please his wife—and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.”

I now understand what my friend and Paul mean. I quickly run to Charles first because he's right here next to me, and I look to him for empathy, prayers, solutions. Being able to do this is a blessing. But as believers, whether married or not, we're called to run to Christ first. That's why Paul said to the unmarried, it is better for them to remain unmarried like he is (1 Corinthians 7:8).

To all my single friends: I'm not saying you need to stay single for the rest of your life. What I am saying is you are valuable, you are worthy, and your singleness is an honor in the eyes of God.

2. Sex is a gift.

We didn't sleep together before marriage. And we agree it was one of the hardest and best things we've both ever done. Whether you've already crossed this threshold or not, it's never too late to make a new start. We can honestly say this decision has given our marriage more life and passion than we ever imagined. Waiting means way more excitement, more value placed on the act, and a greater closeness with God than I thought was possible. We had to run to Him when tempted and remember that He loves us even though we are weak:

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we.”

— Hebrews 4:15

Not having sex with each other and not living together before marriage was also the biggest witness to our faith. People often couldn't believe we weren't living together, let alone not sleeping together. But it was never something we felt embarrassed or self-conscious about.

I think that was the Holy Spirit empowering us in our decision and helping us stand firm in God's clear direction for relationships. Saying no to sex before we were married showed us sacrificial love—a sliver of the sacrificial love God has for us. 

3. Pride will destroy your marriage.

I want what I want when I want it. For the past 28 years, I've been doing life my way. Trying to meekly follow The Lord, yes. But also doing it my way. I don't like to be wrong. I don't like to be challenged. I don't like to not be in control. That's where my sinful inclinations lie.

Now I have a husband. This isn't a 50/50 relationship. We are each called to give our marriage 110 percent every day. We're called to love each other, serve each other, and sacrifice for each other. That is no small task, especially for someone like me who enjoys being in charge. We also have to be quick to confess and then quick to forgive. Me stubbornly holding a grudge gets us nowhere, except me being more upset. 

Without humility, joyful servitude, and constant sacrifice for each other, our marriage won't work. No marriage will.

4. There are few things better than sharing homemade breakfast sandwiches and coffee with your husband.

Especially if you're still in your PJs. One of Charles' top love languages is "acts of service," and I'm so thankful he's chosen to utilize this with food! Whether he's cooking or I am, there is something so special about sharing home-cooked meals at the table together. 

(Want to up your breakfast sandwich game? Buy bread from the local bakery and invest in some quality butter. Mmm, mmm, mmm.)

5. Sleepwalking is real.

My husband has dealt with insomnia for years, and his back issues complicate sleeping even more. But his sleepwalking was a strange surprise two weeks into our marriage. Sleepwalking exists, and I've learned this firsthand. I've also learned the power of forgiveness and patience.

Since returning from our honeymoon, we've had to temporarily sleep in separate beds, until we move apartments and a new king mattress arrives.

I can't get mad at him for insomnia and sleepwalking—two unfortunate habits he'd much prefer didn't happen at all. And that's the thing: We're all human. We all have quirks. When you get down to it, sleepwalking (or sleeping soundly) has absolutely zero influence on our character and holiness. How we respond is much more important.

So when Charles is feeling exhausted, we pray God would give him rest and refresh him. When I'm feeling annoyed at the disrupted sleep schedule or at his worn-out demeanor, we pray for patience. God hears our prayers and is faithful.

6. Iron truly does sharpen iron.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

— Proverbs 27:17

In the words of Ron Swanson on Parks and Recreation, "The thing I love about Tammy is she calls me on my crap. Every guy needs that!" 

Really, though. Except in biblical marriage, we can call each other out and then graciously point the other person to Jesus. Marriage isn't an excuse to belittle the other person or maliciously point out wrongs. Marriage was created by God to reflect His glory and to help bring us closer to Him. Marriage is sanctifying. 

7. There's no one else I'd rather go on this journey with. 

I love Charles with my whole heart. We are two broken humans divinely brought together to live out God's call for our lives and help the other look more and more like Jesus with each passing day. He's my partner in ministry, my love, my best friend. There's no one else I'd rather do this life with.

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.