What I'm Listening To

The music, podcasts, and sermons I’m loving right now.

As a stay-at-home mom, there are some days when I miraculously have time to read the Bible, journal, and dig into every word and question for an hour with no distractions. But most days? Most days, I’m scrambling to get a bit of the Word into my heart and mind while taking care of my seven-month-old full-time. That’s when listening to the audio version of the Bible is key, and worship music, podcasts, and sermons come in handy. These resources help pour the truth over me and keep my eyes fixed on the Kingdom.

Here are a few of my favorites right now. I’d love to hear what you’re listening to, too! Leave me a comment below.

Music

“Rescue” by Lauren Daigle

I was a big fan of Daigle’s hit song “You Say” (and wrote about it here), but there’s something different about “Rescue” that I love even more. Whereas “You Say” focuses on what God says about who we are as His sons and daughters, “Rescue” highlights the character of God. He sees us, He knows us, and He is always working for our good and His glory. He will never leave us or forsake us. He’s the good shepherd, and we are His flock.

“Raise a Hallelujah” - Bethel Music

This song is guaranteed to make you turn the volume up. My son and I love dancing around to this, praising God and His faithfulness.

“O Praise the Name (Anastasis)” - Hillsong Worship

I almost always tear up to “O Praise the Name.” This live version is especially powerful. It helps me to meditate on what Jesus Christ did for me. How He died for the world, yes, but for me individually and for you. He died and He rose again with great purpose: to save you and invite you into His kingdom!

“O praise the name of the Lord our God, o praise His name forevermore. For endless days, we will sing Your praise, O Lord, O Lord, our God.”

Podcasts

Risen Motherhood

I discovered Risen Motherhood this year, and I’m officially hooked. I love how the hosts apply the gospel to everything they discuss, from finances to body image to screen time. Each episode is about 20 minutes, making them perfect to turn on while you wash dishes or fold laundry.

In the Market with Janet Parshall

This podcast is also a show on Moody Radio; it comes on here in Nashville during the evening commute. My husband and I so appreciate how Parshall dissects current events and hot-button topics through the lens of the Bible. A must-listen.

That Sounds Fun with Annie Downs

Downs interviews different guests each week—some of my favorite episodes include Sadie Robertson, Rebekah Lyons, Trey Kennedy, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck—and she always makes sure she asks them what sounds fun.

Sermons

The Answer for Anxiety - Long Hollow Baptist Church, Pastor Robby Gallaty

Our former church is going through a series called “Real Life,” and dang, it’s good. This message on anxiety has been incredibly helpful for me and reminded me to run to Christ when I feel anxious. Gallaty has also preached on depression and social media. He weaves the truth of Jesus and the Bible with his own personal testimony, even discussing medication (which no, is not a sin). Watch online or download the podcast version.

Practicing Prayer - The Village Church, Pastor Matt Chandler

Matt Chandler is the first evangelical pastor I ever listened to, and he’s someone I turn back to time and time again. His messages continue to be rooted in scripture; this one is no exception. Chandler breaks down how Jesus teaches His followers to pray. Watch online or download the podcast version.

The Underdog’s Secret - Summit Church, Pastor JD Grear

I heard this sermon on the radio a few weeks ago, and I was blown away. I’d never listened to Grear before this. Like Gallaty and Chandler, Grear’s powerful voice and love of the Word make for some convicting and encouraging sermons. Here, he discusses the story of Gideon and how God often uses the small and weak to fulfill His plans. Listen online or to the podcast version.

Sometimes Life Looks Different Than You Expect (Plus, a Major Life Update)

We took this photo on the top of Independence Pass last June, during our honeymoon trip to Colorado. Charles and I were blissfully happy (I mean, hello, it’s our honeymoon), and married life seemed to be going exactly as we hoped and planned. Little did we know what was to come when we returned to Tennessee.

Charles accepted a job working nights—we were thrilled for the opportunity for him, despite our different schedules. We certainly made the best decision at the time for the two of us. We moved into a new place in the city of Nashville, and shortly thereafter we found out we were expecting. Everything felt exciting and wonderful.

What we didn’t expect was how difficult the next 16 months would be. His night shift job became more and more demanding, with some weeks topping out at 80 hours. Sunday to Thursday, we passed each other like ships in the night, and our weekends were reduced to a few exhausted hours together. We struggled to make friends or community within our church, and we were unable to join the groups or classes that we desired to because of our schedule. Holidays and vacation time were almost nonexistent.

We knew we were still blessed in countless ways. Both in good health, with jobs, an apartment, and plenty of food to eat. Plus a baby on the way! We tried to focus on all the gifts in our life, rather than dwell on the negatives.

Yet the truth is that we were processing through our own version of suffering. We were learning what life looked like when it didn’t go according to plan. You know: When you think you’re driving on a straightaway with the windows down, the sun shining, and no other cars around, and instead you’re stuck in a traffic jam on a stormy day, facing flat tires and engine problems and detour after detour with no end in sight.

And then once our son was born, I felt incredibly joyful—I think God revealed His true purpose for me in motherhood—but also more overwhelmed than I admitted at the time. My hormones were up and down. I was exhausted physically and mentally. I worried about my son all the time. In fact, I didn’t sleep at all the first night home from the hospital out of fear something might happen to him. I wasn’t exactly depressed, but I was definitely dealing with baby blues.

Charles and I both knew something had to change. He’d been searching for jobs since before the baby was born. We kept praying and praying and praying God would change our situation.

The months went on, and I continued processing. I wrestled with what it meant to be a stay-at-home mom, when my identity had been wrapped up in career and achievements my whole life. I felt lonelier that I had in a long time, and I didn’t quite know how to express that to people. I just wanted them to be there for me. Then there was the anger. Oh, the anger. I’ve never really been an angry person, but suddenly I was mad, a lot. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was mad at God.

Lord, why is this our situation? Why does everything have to feel so hard?

And Charles was going through a lot of his own processing, too. Sleep deprivation will do a number on you—not to mention, he rarely saw the light of day, or anything, really, outside the four walls of his workplace.

But God has taught us more through this season than we anticipated. He’s shown us that He is always faithful, always loving, and always good. We’ve pressed into Him when we didn’t know what else to do. We’ve cried out to Him with literal tears and shouts. He’s grown our faith in areas we didn’t know we needed, and He’s reminded us that He is forever after His glory.

I’ve learned I’m not the only one who’s faced difficult situations. I have friends whose husbands work equally long hours, friends whose husbands travel all week, and friends whose husbands have been deployed in the Middle East. I have friends who are longing for a husband or a child and are probably reading this thinking I shouldn’t complain. (They’re right.) I have friends who’ve struggled with infertility or miscarriage. Friends who are walking through depression, anxiety, and grief. Friends with cancer diagnoses. Autoimmune disease. Addiction. The list goes on.

I’ve learned there are people all around us and all over the world who are struggling. Everyone is going through something. We have no idea what people might be experiencing, and we all owe each other a bit of grace and the love of Christ.

Through all of this, I now have a greater understanding that sometimes God allows His people to suffer to bring us closer to Him.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we areyet he did not sin.”

— Hebrews 4:15

He wants our whole hearts and our dependence on Him. He wants our ultimate good and His glory. Through suffering, we see that He is God, and we are not. He is in control. Our suffering allows us to empathize with others. It makes us more like Him. When we are suffering, we are reminded of what Christ went through on the Cross for us. We have a great high priest who was tempted in every way, who suffered more than we ever will so that we can have eternal life. We can trust Him in all situations.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

— Psalm 139:13-14

If you take anything away from this blog post, please let it be that. You are not alone in whatever you’re walking through. You have a Savior who knows you and who knit you together in your mother’s womb. He created you with great purpose. Jesus really does love you, and He wants a real relationship with You.

Will you trust Him?

Trusting in God is the only thing that got us through these past months. I honestly don’t know how our marriage would have survived without our shared foundation of faith in Christ. I know there will be trials in the future, too, but I can say with confidence that God will be with us in them.

And so, after many tears, much prayer, and now wonderful thanksgiving, we can confidently say God has brought us into a new season.

He’s given Charles a new job, and our family is about to get a fresh start. We are moving to Denver, Colorado!

The photo at the top of this blog post has been the background on our computer since our honeymoon. It’s a picture that makes us happy every time we look at it and gave us hope that things would turn around again. We had no idea that God would actually send us out west, to the same state that photo was taken.

We are so excited to begin this new chapter in Colorado. We cannot praise God enough. Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement along the way.

Now onto the Rocky Mountain State!

Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom

Back in July, when my son was almost four months old, I officially resigned from my full-time marketing job. I had proposed a remote work arrangement with my bosses, but they turned me down. As much as my pride was hurt, I knew in my heart that their decision was for the best. Frankly, I didn’t want to go back to work, and after having five different bosses in a year and a half, I felt my time there had come to a close.

“Who knows, perhaps you have come to your royal position for such a time as this. ”

— Esther 4:14b

Charles and I had prayed about what I would do once the baby came, and the decision became abundantly clear as I spent weeks at home with our little love. I couldn’t imagine leaving him at home with someone else or enrolling him in daycare.

I knew without a doubt that God called me into motherhood, at this specific time, for His specific purpose. And I knew I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.

I love being a SAHM. I love staying home with my son, and I feel incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to do so. I know this isn’t the case for many moms who desire to stay home but need two incomes to support their families. While, yes, we’ve had to make some financial sacrifices—like continuing to rent rather than buying a home and driving one car rather than two—the choice has been easy. This is what is best for our family.

Yet the prideful, approval-loving part of my heart still felt wounded when I was straight-up told no to my offer to work remotely. Since handing in my resignation letter, I’ve reached out to my editorial contacts to begin writing again, something I very much love to do. I’ve either been denied or ignored, and it’s frustrating.

Working is what I’ve done my whole life—from school to college to full-time career woman in NYC and Nashville. It’s what I know. It’s what’s comfortable. I enjoy working, and I am constantly striving to be “successful.” (Goodness, whatever that means.) I also tend to compare myself to others, so when I’ve been asked what my son and I do all day, I instantly turn from confident to sheepish.

“Well, we wake up, and I nurse him. Then I eat breakfast and try to read the Bible. He usually wants to nap by the time I finish, and he’ll do that for an hour or two. That’s my chance to finish reading, maybe journal, shower, and get ready. Depending on the day, we’ll go to a Bible study or mom’s group, or we’ll stroll Target or hit the grocery store. Pretty soon, it’s lunchtime, then nap time again, and before I know it, I’m prepping dinner. Evenings can be tough, and my baby is usually extra fussy. I might try to take a walk, I might give him a bath and read him a story, and then I put him to bed around 7:30. I crash by 9 or 9:30 p.m.”

I share my answer and then immediately tick off in my mind all the stay-at-home moms I know who also:

• Run successful, money-making blogs

• Freelance write

• Write books

• Consult with clients

• Teach yoga

• Run a styling business

• Work remotely for their company

• Host a podcast

• Cook gourmet meals most nights

• Bake homemade desserts most days

• Lead Bible studies or discipleship groups

I want to be like those women, too. I want to be uber-productive and more than “just a mom.” Even though I recognize my job is incredibly important and a gift and something I love, I can still feel that tension.

During the last few months of transition, I have felt like I have to somehow justify the statement: “I’m a stay-at-home mom.”

Why? Why do I feel the need to add that but/and statement following my declaration of stay-at-home motherhood? Why do I want to assure people that I have a blog and I write and I do all these other things in addition to momming full-time?

Oh, my pride runs deep. Perhaps you can relate. It took words from my husband to wake me up and realize the truth:

“Mags, you are productive, simply in a different way. You’re producing our son! What could be more important than that?”

I’ve needed to hear my husband’s words, plus the encouragement of other moms and ultimately the encouragement of God’s Word to wake up and realize this is the greatest job I’ve ever had. My husband is right. I’m more productive than I ever have been—but it looks a lot different than writing articles, producing reports, and leading meetings. I’m not getting words of affirmation from coworkers and bosses. There’s no paycheck coming into my bank account every two weeks, no pat on the back for a job well done.

Instead, my feedback is the sound of laughter from my son. The smiles that are so big his dimples pop. The beginnings of words: “Mama.” And yes, many times I get tears and screams and spit-up and blowout diapers. But there’s so much sweetness in that. I’m growing my son from a baby to a boy. Feeding him (a full-time job in and of itself). Cleaning him. Playing with him. Teaching him sounds and words and movements. I have the rest of my life to work outside the home. These days are fleeting.

“Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation”

— 1 Peter 2:2

Just as God birthed His Spirit within me, now He’s birthed my child. He’s given me the privilege of raising him and teaching Him to walk in the Way of righteousness. God has cared for me and held me. He’s sacrificed for me, and He calls me beloved. He looks at me the way I look at my little one—as precious, fearfully and wonderfully made. He’s showing me more of Himself than I ever knew possible through motherhood.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

— James 1:17

I am watching my son now as I type these. He’s rocking in his swing, chewing on a teething toy, and smiling at me with that adorable gummy grin. It warms my heart in a way I’ve never known before. Thank you, Father, for this good and perfect gift.

Becoming a mother, and a stay-at-home mom at that, has been both the hardest and greatest thing I’ve ever done. Or rather, that God has done for me. God is using motherhood to refine me every single day. He’s molding me and helping me see more of His character. He’s making me more like Him, through all the diaper changes and tears and sleepless nights along the way. God is holding my hand, sustaining me in this new season and reminding me of His goodness to provide this precious child to us.

I am my son’s caregiver, teacher, provider, and nurturer. I am his mother, and I am so, so thankful.

Father, give me joy and peace in my new calling, knowing my identity rests in You alone, Lord. Not a job title or paycheck, not more blog posts or more freelance work. In Christ alone. Thank you for Your faithfulness. Thank you for making me a momma. Help me to trust You in all areas of my life. Help me to disciple my son. Use me to be a light and bring glory to your Kingdom. I pray all this in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Living Out of Abundance

Throughout the summer I’ve been splitting my time between Isaiah and the Psalms. The Psalms feel very digestible for me right now, and let me tell you, God sure is speaking to me through them. (Doesn’t he always speak through His Word?)

The Lord is showing me my desire for control over everything and how much I want to plan out each step of my life. I want to fix things, I want life to be perfect, I want to look like I have it all together, and I want to know what God has in store for my family and me. Sometimes I find myself focusing on what I want and what I don’t have, rather than on what God continues to provide for me.

Today, what I want most is more family time. I also want more community within our church, greater ability to travel, a larger car, an apartment with more space, and a baby who will happily take a bottle and sleep through the night. In wanting these things, I can easily forget all that God has already given me. A home. A church family. A vehicle. A husband who has a steady job and who loves me well. A precious son growing bigger and stronger every day.

A dear friend reminded me recently that God doesn’t promise that He will give us everything we want. But He will give us everything we need.

We can trust that fully. He will sustain us, and He will provide our daily bread. Every morning we awake, He’s given us another day and another opportunity to praise Him.

Psalm 23 says:

“The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack.

He lets me lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside quiet waters.

He renews my life;

He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake.

Even when I go through the darkest valley I fear no danger for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff—they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You annoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.”

What would it look like to live out of abundance, rather than focus on what we lack?

What do you feel like you are lacking? Money? A job? Health? A spouse? Children? Friends? A home? You are not alone in feeling like you lack something. As humans, we are going to feel that on this earth. But the thing is, we all have everything we need in Christ. He provides our souls with abundant grace, love, forgiveness, strength, and justice.

God provides us with manna in the wilderness. In the Old Testament, God used Moses and Aaron to lead His people, the Israelites, out of slavery. In doing so, they spent 40 years in the wilderness, wandering and having only manna and quail to eat. They were used to different, better food while they were slaves in Egypt. And they wanted to go back to that life of slavery and sin so they could have the abundant, rich food again!

“In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. 3 The Israelites said to them, ‘If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.’”

— Exodus 16:2-3

Sound familiar?

We often would rather live stuck in a life of sin, relying on our own ways and trusting in the provision of our own hands instead of trusting in God’s provision and manna.

“Then the Lord said to Moses, ‘I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions. On the sixth day they are to prepare what they bring in, and that is to be twice as much as they gather on the other days.’”

— Exodus 16:4-5

God provides the bread, and He himself is the bread. He provides for our physical needs as well as our spiritual needs. He invites us into a relationship with Him. And He commands that we rest in Him, trusting in Him as our provider. With Him, our cup overflows. I want to live out of that abundant cup.

The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack... I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.

That is my prayer for myself and for my family right now—that we dwell in the house of the Lord as long as we live.

Father, help me to trust in You and Your provision. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger for You are with me. You are my shepherd. There is nothing I lack.