A Letter to the Friend Who Is Struggling

A few friends have recently disclosed to me that they have friends or family members in the midst of a struggle with an eating disorder. Hearing this breaks my heart. I wouldn't want anyone to go through that struggle, and I know it has to be so difficult looking from the outside in at someone you love in such pain. 

I want this blog to a be a place of encouragement and hope. Not because of me and my words, but because of Christ. So a major part what I can do—really the biggest thing we all can do—is pray. Prayer moves the heart of God and moves our hearts. Prayer keeps us in tune with what He's saying to us. Prayer reminds us of our need for Him.

If someone close to you is struggling with mental illness, pray for them. Pray that God would heal them fully and provide recovery in a way that only He can. Pray for patience and trust. 

I wrote the short letter below for a friend of a friend who is wrestling with an eating disorder. If you, too, know someone who's hurting, will you send this to them? 

They can read this note and they can read my testimony, but mostly I hope that they read God's Word. The Bible is a lamp for my feet, a light for my path. It directs me, teaches me, and sustains me every single day. I'm not writing this to you as a woman who's 100 percent healed and who never deals with a negative thought about food or body image.

I'm writing this to you as a woman who's seen what Satan is capable of, who's played around with darkness, and who's been radically saved from death by the grace and power of Jesus Christ. I'm writing this as a woman who wants everyone to taste the sweetness of a relationship with God. It will change your life.

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Hi friend,

How are you? 

I want you to know you are not alone in this fight. I've shared your same struggle for years, and I understand what you are feeling and going through. More than that, Jesus understands. He knows your pain, your hurts, and your frustrations. And He can provide comfort the way no one else can.

Someone recently shared insight with me that I never thought about before. In Genesis 3, sin entered the world through an apple, through a woman taking a bite of this forbidden fruit. Sin entered the world through food. Think of how many women today struggle with food and their bodies; that's the sin nature within us. But how sweet is God to redeem this! To invite us into communion with him, to feast at the table of the lamb. Our story doesn't stop with Eve in Genesis. We now have a great hope in the resurrected Jesus. 

God's Word has been a light to me in the midst of terrible darkness.

He's reminded me that the testing of our faith produces endurance (James 1:3). That trials help refine us and make us more like him. He is the vine; we are the branches. He is continually pruning us. 

“We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

— 2 Corinthians 3:18

Are being transformed. That's present tense. That means it's happening now. I just love that. We are not perfect, but we serve a God who is. He has been tested in every way as we are, yet without sin. (Hebrews 4:15) We can run to Him and trust that He hears us!

He loves us and has called us to Himself even while we are still sinners.

When we accept Christ, our identity is completely changed. We were dead, but we have been made alive with the Messiah. Saved by grace through faith. (Ephesians 2:5) He brings us back to life. His Holy Spirit lives within us. I cling to that truth whenever I feel shameful or guilty. I pray we live as men and women who are free because we are in Christ Jesus. 

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look new things have come. Everything is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”

— 2 Corinthians 5:17-18

A new creation. That is how God see us and wants us to see ourselves. 

Hold fast to the Truth. Ask God for full healing from the inside out. Surrender to Him on a daily basis, and never forget that He loves you and is faithful.

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

Dear Future Daughter

Dear daughter,

Today is May 11, 2016. I’m sipping my tea, writing to you from my desk in New York City. Yes, The Big Apple; I’ve lived here for three and a half years now. I am 26 years old. I’m not engaged or married, but I write this letter looking toward a future with you in it.

I don’t know when or where I am going to meet you. I don’t know when I’m going to give this to you. What I do know are a few things to be true about you. Things that will never change, no matter the circumstances.

You are, quite simply, a gift.

You make me happier than I ever thought could be. I wondered about you for years and years. Now you’re here, and I don’t know how I lived my life without you.

I spent a long time—too much time—wrestling with fear and doubt, with voices in my head that made me feel unworthy. I listened to those statements. I heard lies that I wasn’t worthy because I wasn’t enough—successful enough, smart enough, pretty enough, good enough. I had my heart broken and discarded. I felt alone, and I didn’t love the woman I was.

That season of my life was difficult, painful, sad. It included many ups and downs. I didn’t know how I’d make it out of the darkness. A family of my own seemed like such a silly desire when I couldn’t seem to take care of myself. I wasn’t sure if I would ever have you. So I put that dream on a shelf, tucked away and collecting dust without much hope for a future.

“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”

— 2 Peter 3:9

But I want to tell you today that that season ended. The cold, dark winter melted away, and the world felt a little more like springtime. I began to blossom. I began to hope. I found faith in a God who never really left me, who continually called me back to Him. He watched over me all those years; He was writing my story in the most beautiful way. He gave me a new life that I might one day share that life with you.

Soon enough, the darkness dissipated, the depression diminished, and my anxieties started to fade. The Light of Christ came in, slowly but surely illuminating my world once again.

And I took that dream off the shelf.

I dreamt of you, daughter. I dreamt of your big, bright eyes; your curly hair; your sweet smile and infectious laugh. I dreamt of your tender heart, your wisdom beyond your years, and your generous spirit. I dreamt of the radiant beauty that stemmed from deep down in your soul.

I dreamt of how I would speak to you, teach you, care for you. The more I dreamt of you, the more I began to love myself. Because dreaming of you helped me think of the woman I was designed to be: wholehearted and full of grace. I thought about how I would care for you and point you back to the Father. I will never lie to you, or say that you are unworthy. I will never tell you that you need to be smarter, be prettier, be better, be more. I can promise you that. So why would I listen to those lies myself? Dreaming of you meant I started talking back to the lies, answering them with truth. I filled the space with God and with you.

“Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

— John 14:6

I dreamt that you, too, would stand firmly in the Light.

I know there will be times when you experience your own hardship on this earth. The world might try to hurt you. It might even try to break you down. You’re going to fall and feel weak. You’re going to fail. But when you accept Christ, you have steadfast strength and courage within you. That’s the Holy Spirit.

“For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.””

— Romans 10:13

Stand firm in who you are. Remember the things that really matter in this life. Remember that your identity is secure in our great God. Set your heart on all that sheds light.

Your dad and I cherish you more than anything. We praise God for your existence. We know you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139). You are lovely in all your imperfections. You are gifted uniquely and with great purpose—nothing about you is a mistake. From your head to your toes, you are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).

We are here for you no matter what. You encourage us and make us better people just by being you. I’m so honored to call you mine. I admire you and look at you with more joy than I ever knew possible.

I want you to know one more truth, daughter: Christ’s perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). He loves us so deeply—so flawlessly—that He enables us to love you in return. I strive to reflect His love to you each day so that you, too, know He’s calling you into His arms, guiding you and protecting you every step of the way.

I love you, sweet girl.

Mom

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.