Pressing Pause

I’ve been pretty silent here and on social media since my daughter was born. The transition to two children has been simultaneously beautiful and wild, and 2021 was one of the best and hardest years I’ve experienced so far. Insomnia, postpartum depression and anxiety, and Covid brought hardship, while some other things that I’m not ready to talk about publicly yet led to deep restoration within our family.

This week, I finished reading Jodi Picoult’s latest novel, about a Manhattanite stuck on a tropical island as the Covid pandemic hits New York City and the world. The main character shares a realization halfway through the book that resonated with me during this season:

Here, I can’t lose myself in errands and work assignments; I can’t disappear in a crowd. I am forced to walk instead of run, and as a result I’ve seen things I would have sped past before—the fuss of a crab trading up for a new shell, the miracle of a sunrise, the garish burst of a cactus flower.

Busy is just a euphemism for being so focused on what you don’t have that you never notice what you do.

It’s a defense mechanism. Because if you stop hustling—if you pause—you start wondering why you ever thought you wanted all those things.

As a former New Yorker who traded deadlines for diapers, I so feel this! It’s not that I’m not busy anymore but that I’ve stopped hustling. My productivity looks different. (I’ve talked about this before.) And since giving birth to my daughter, I’ve finally allowed myself to pause.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been striving. I’ve been working to answer the question, “Am I enough?” Having a lot on my plate and pushing myself to be “the best” is the easy way out for me. But focusing on the present and finding contentment in Christ alone? That’s a lot harder. That’s when I start to gaze at myself and wonder if I measure up.

Perhaps you can relate to the thoughts below, some of which are my own and others are what I’ve heard from friends:

• If I'm not freelance writing and continuing my professional career, am I enough?

• If I’m not blogging and sharing God’s Word publicly, am I enough?

• If I’m not exercising regularly, am I enough?

• If I’m still single and so desire to get married, am I enough?

• If I’m struggling with infertility, am I enough?

• If I’m living paycheck to paycheck, am I enough?

• If I keep getting passed up for that promotion, am I enough?

• If my relationships are on the rocks, am I enough?

• If I don’t have enough saved for my kids’ college and my retirement, am I enough?

• If I don’t know what God thinks about me, am I enough?

Friend, you are enough.

In Jesus, you are enough. Christianity is the only religion in the world that says you don’t have to do it all, you don’t have to check off all the boxes, because God already has. He is the perfect one, not you. He created you, purposefully and intentionally. You are precious in His sight. And He guarantees (yes, guarantees!) your salvation through your faith and His grace. Not through anything you’ve done or anything you feel.

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the bodya and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:1-10)

I’m so thankful for God’s grace and for the reminder that I am enough, even when I don’t feel like it. That I can come to Him with all my burdens and worries and find rest (Matthew 11:28-30).

My prayer this year is to live more like Jesus. In the words of Kristi McLelland, I want to stare at God and only glance at myself. “He must increase, and I must decrease.” (John 3:30) Yes, yes, yes. Thank you, Father.

Change the Way You Think About Self-Care

I’ve been hearing a lot about the idea of self-care lately, and I am all for it. The dictionary defines it as you would pretty much expect.

Self-care: noun, care for oneself.

That sounds simple enough, right?

But I think for many of us—certainly for myself—self-care is an elusive concept. What does it look like to care for oneself when you’re working full-time, caring for a family, or trying to grow that side hustle? (Or all three?) Where does self-care come into play? How can I take time for myself when I have all these other things I need to do first?

It’s time we see self-care in a new light.

If the phrase self-care throws you off, think of it differently. Think of it as soul-care.

When we press pause, when we rest, and when we care for our souls, we’re more in-tune with what God is saying to us.

While I’m no expert in rest, I will say I’ve seen first-hand how much it does a body good. Resting is productive in its own way. It’s a time when our body repairs, rebuilds, and recharges. I truly believe more and more of our health problems today stem from stress and not knowing how to cope with our stress in healthful ways. Resting gives us a chance to take a breath.

I have a really hard time simply resting. I was home sick with a sinus infection for a few days last week, and even then, I didn’t want to be still. I always want to feel productive and like I’ve accomplished something. Half the time when I'm watching TV, I’m doing something else. Maybe you have a hard time slowing down, too, or maybe you don’t know how to fit that into your already jam-packed schedule.

But even God, the Creator of the universe and everything in it, rested.

“On the seventh day God had completed his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, for on it he rested from all his work of creation.”

— Genesis 2:2-3

God paused, looked at all He had done, and declared it to be good. He instructed us to keep holy the sabbath—to rest and take good care.

What would it look like to take an entire day unplugged, tuned in to God, and simply enjoying the creation He created for us?

Matthew 22:37-40 tells us,

“He said to him, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.’”

We've seen this passage countless times, and even people who don't read or believe in the Bible know we're to love others. That's the Golden Rule. But I recently heard on a podcast a refreshing way to interpret it. Take the scripture a step further. Love the Lord your God. Okay, yes. Then, love your neighbor as yourself. Think about that: as yourself.

Do you love yourself? Do you see yourself as God sees you? Are you actively caring for yourself in the way that honors the Lord? I think of soul-care is as a beautiful act of love that shows we value ourselves and believe we are worthy. If we are to love others, we have to love ourselves. 

If we want to pour out to other people, we have to first fill up ourselves.

So as much as I enjoy ending my day with an episode or two of Friends, doing so doesn’t really fill me up. It’s restful, yes, but not rejuvenating. It’s not restorative or redemptive. It doesn’t bring life to my soul.

But spending time with the Lord, reading His Word, praying, memorizing scripture—these things encourage my soul and fill my heart.

Reading the Bible is my number-one soul-care and self-care technique. Even when I don’t feel like doing it, God shows up. He honors that discipline and that desire. His Word is living and active, and He really does restore us through it.

When I’m not reading, I like to practice these other soul-care activities:

1. Taking a walk.
2. Listening to a podcast.
3. Journaling.
4. Listening to worship music.
5. Praying with a friend.
6. Cooking.
7. Doing Christian yoga.

The hustle mentality will burn us out, but self-care is a lifelong practice. God designed us and included a natural rhythm of a sabbath. There’s a purpose for that. When we’re caring for ourselves—caring for ours soul as God intended it—we’re able to honor Him and live the life He created us for.

What’s your go-to soul-care technique? Share with me in the comments below and let's continue to encourage one another.

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.