One Year in Nashville

I’ve lived in Nashville for an entire 365 days, and I officially say “y’all” more than “you guys.”

I can’t quite believe I packed my bags, left New York City, and bought a one-way ticket to Nashville, Tennessee, just over one year ago. That simultaneously feels like yesterday and yet also feels like a lifetime ago. I miss many things about New York City. I miss my community there (although many of those friends have now left the city and scattered throughout the country). I miss my ability to walk everywhere and do almost anything at a moment’s notice. I miss the hustle and bustle, the fast pace, the city that never sleeps. I miss the art, culture, and fashion everywhere you turn. I miss the street bagels and falafel. I miss calling myself a New Yorker.

But I don’t for one second regret leaving New York City.

I knew in my heart that God called me to Nashville. It was that simple and that complex.

He brought me here for a whole bunch of reasons, including living in the same city as the man I love and beginning a job in full-time ministry. The Lord brought me here, and He’s shown up for me time and time again. I’ve grown more in the past year than the previous years combined. I’m learning what it looks like to really walk with Jesus on a daily basis, to share truth with others, and to let my faith be the rhythm of my life.

“I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

— Philippians 1:6

In this time, God has revealed to me the sin that’s still within me. The deep desires for control, approval, and pride. He’s shown me I still have work to do when it comes to my own healing and recovery—but that He is faithful to finish the good work He began in me.

He’s helped me see the value of rest and of stillness. That while my type-A, perfectionist personality loves to be on the go at all times, often the best place to hear from God is in the quiet. Sometimes I need to get alone with Him and sit in the solitude.

This is the first time in my life I’ve lived alone. The extrovert in me wants people around who I can continually talk and hang out with. But I also relish the way this space is my own, the way I can connect with God however I want. I love that it provides rest.

I’ve rested more in this past year than I have in a very long time. I’ve traded the crazy city life, the gym, and hot yoga for walking in wide open spaces and practicing yoga at home. I’m working on a restored relationship with both food and exercise, so abandoning the high intensity sweat sesh is what I need right now. I’m learning to move in a way that feels good, to eat what’s enjoyable, and to appreciate my body the way God designed it. It’s been a long road for me, but the support God has provided here in Nashville has helped me so much.

“For the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, has said: “You will be delivered by returning and resting; your strength will lie in quiet confidence. But you are not willing.””

— Isaiah 30:15

This summer a friend of mine from New York also made the move to Nashville. She asked me if my stress level decreased since moving. I immediately and emphatically answered heck yes.

Living stress-free is still totally possible in New York City. It takes a lot of intention and discipline, but it can happen. Yet I now know for me personally, for my optimal health and wellbeing, I needed to step away.

Since moving to Nashville, God has shown me the joy of dating His way. He had to end some previous relationships in order to teach me and show me that something way better was just around the corner. He was preparing my heart while preparing my now-boyfriend’s heart. We’ve both seen firsthand how the love of a significant other is a representation of the Gospel. It’s an amazing thing, and if I had not moved to Nashville, if I had not given this man a chance while living and dating in the same city, I don’t know when I would have learned that lesson. And I would have missed out on this great love.

Most of all, in the past year, the Lord has reminded me that I am made in His image.

I am called to live a holy life. It’s clear the Lord purposely plucked me out of my comfort zone of NYC to do some deep work in my mind, body, and spirit. He has a plan for all of this, and it’s a lot bigger than anything I could plot out on my own.

So wherever you’re at right now—whatever emotion you’re feeling, whatever hopes you’re hoping for and whatever dreams you’re banking on—tell them to God. If you don’t feel like you have a relationship with Him, then ask Him to reveal Himself to you. He’ll show up and rock your word.

I know not everyone has a story of reckless faith or radical salvation. Not everyone has the story they thought they would have. It’s okay.

I am right there with you. I could not and would not have written my story this way. But I honestly wouldn’t change it. I’m convinced that God has authored my life like this because He’s using it for His glory. As Christians, He doesn’t call us to a life of happiness. He calls us to a life of holiness and sanctification. Sometimes that means wading through some really rough waters. But He is still good, and He is still faithful.

I have lofty dreams for this blog and for my ministry. I have a feeling He has even bigger things in store over the next 12 months, and I’m excited to watch Him work. I am privileged to get to write in this space and share what I’m learning with each of you on a regular basis. I love this little blog—it means so much you’ve stuck with me through all the transitions and changes. Thank you for showing up.

Here’s to another year!

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

Bought With a Price

Last fall, I bought a pair of Madewell jeans, easily the most expensive jeans I’ve ever purchased. They were perfect. High-rise, skinny legs, dark wash, contrast stitching, and a slight crop at the ankle. They had these “magic pockets” that made everything look smooth and sleek, not to mention some extra stretch in the cotton so I could move without feeling restricted. “Legs-for-days” was how they were advertised.

I discovered them at the back of the store on the sale rack; even still, I had to decide whether I could swing this purchase. I think my internal monologue went something like:

Hmm, they were originally $128. Now they’re marked down 20 percent. They are so comfortable. They look great on me. I’ll wear them all the time, so my cost per use is going to be low. Yes, they’re totally worth it. Okay, I’m doing it!

I handed over my card to the saleswoman, and within seconds I walked away with my first pair of designer denim.

I bought them for a price. I knew I wouldn’t be able to buy other clothes that month or even the next month. This was splurge purchase for me, and I had to make them worth it.

For 12 solid months, those jeans were totally worth it. But now, they no longer fit. It’s time time to remove them from my wardrobe and pass them on.

Maybe you could care less about jeans. Maybe you think I’m crazy for spending that much money on fashion. (And maybe I am.) But more than likely, you have saved for something at some point in your life.  You’ve made a big purchase. A new iPhone. A car. Sports equipment for your kiddos.

Or maybe you’re trying to simply make it through the week, stretching every dime to keep a roof over your head, pay those bills, and put dinner on the table each night.

All these things have a cost. We buy them for a price, and we have to weigh the cost-benefit to us. What will I have to give up to purchase this? Is the price worth it?

My boyfriend shared 1 Corinthians 6 with me recently, and it really hit home as I took that pair of jeans out of my closet. 

“‘All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything. ‘Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food’—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.’ But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.  Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

— 1 Corinthians 6:12-20

I bought those jeans for a price. That was nothing compared to what Christ did.

Jesus, himself, bought us for a price.

When we’ve repented, when we’ve recognized Him as Lord and given our lives to Him, he brings us into the fold. He doesn’t question whether we are worth it, whether we’re the right fit, whether he can find something better. He loves us, and He accepts us into His kingdom.

And when we keep sinning—and keep crying out to Him as our Savior and the only answer to our brokenness—He forgives us. His Spirit is still within us. In all our mess, our sin, and our mistakes, he doesn’t dispose of us. We are worth it. We are priceless to Him.

I’m reading through parts of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) right now, learning about Jesus’s life on this earth, as fully man and fully God. Everywhere He went, He went in peace. He spoke the truth, and He shared the light of the Father with people. He was completely devoted to the Father and fulfilling the mission God had for Him. He was perfect.

He loved us so much that He died for us, as sinners and broken people. Our sins are what nailed Him to the cross, yet He still took on the most horrible death imaginable in order to give us a way out. He gives us hope and an opportunity for life eternal through faith in Him.

Christ bought us with a price—and we are not our own.

Our bodies, our possessions, our whole lives belong to God. Thinking about what He went through in order to give us life and to entrust us with the Holy Spirit really puts things in perspective. He will never dispose of us or outgrow us like a pair of jeans. He’s not looking for the next best thing. He’s with us for the long haul.

Is He as priceless to us as that thing we saved our money for? Is He as priceless to us as we are to Him? The big question for me is whether I live like I’ve been rescued from death, purchased by the blood of Christ, and extended mercy, grace, and life eternal.

Knowing and fully understanding the fact that I am not my own helps me cast off the weight of sin. It helps us order our lives with God in His rightful place, most high.

My body is God’s; that includes the physical, emotional, and mental. When I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit began to dwell within me. Remembering that empowers me against temptation. God is right there within us, so it’s no wonder Satan so often tries to attack the body. Think about it: drunkenness, pornography, sexual immorality, and disordered eating and exercise seem so common. They’re sins against our own bodies and against Christ within us. And Satan is too sneaky to let the emotional and mental sins gets past him. Hate, lust, anger, jealousy, and greed are just as much of an assault on the body.

Yet we are no longer slaves to sin.

“For he who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called as a free man is Christ’s slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of people. Brothers and sisters, each person is to remain with God in the situation in which he was called.”

— 1 Corinthians 7:22-24

Our bodies are now members of Christ because we were bought at a price. This amazes me. Jesus paid the ultimate price for me, and He paid the ultimate price for you, my friend. That price is way more than a pair of trendy jeans that I may grow out of get tired of after a year or two.

I pray I live my life in a way that’s reflective of my being bought by the King of Kings.

We were created to live each day for Him and to glorify God with our bodies. He has us in this very moment and at this very place with great purpose. Jesus paid the price that you couldn’t in order to give you new life in Him.

What will you do with it?

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

For When You're Feeling Anxious

I’ve been a worrier for as long as I can recall. Back in middle school, I sometimes would have a difficult time falling asleep because I was too worried about the next day’s test or presentation. I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. There was one time a few classmates and I supposed to go on a special field trip downtown; I was so nervous to go that I literally made myself feel sick the day of the trip. High school brought a whole new set of worries, with sports and college and boys. I was even worried I’d be bad at the whole dating thing, and I stopped dating a nice boy because of it. (Don't worry—it worked out for the best.)

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me. He delivered me from all my fears.”

— Psalm 34:4

Worry and anxiety have been a big part of my story and how Christ drew me to Himself. 

I’ve had to learn how to manage my stress levels. Living in New York City for four years presented its own set of challenges, and while I live in a more peaceful environment now, I know anxiety may be something I’m always prone to if I’m not mindful of it.

We all face anxiety. Many of us are often managing worry and fear on a daily basis. The reality of stress is hard to escape. We talk so much about taking care of our health by eating well and exercising, yet we practically glorify stress. Being busy is a badge of honor. And honestly, the whole “hustle” mentality sounds great until your body breaks down.

I heard once that worry is an insult to God. It’s so true. Worry, at its core, reflects a sense of pride. Worry says, “I’m worried because I’m in control and I know what’s best.”

The only way to stop worry in its tracks is to recognize we are not in control. 

We can’t figure it all out.

And we don’t have to.

If you are a Believer—if you’ve repented and called Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior—then you have a hope greater than this world. 

(If you’re not sure where you’re at with Jesus, would you take a minute to read this? He wants a relationship with you, and that’s the only way your worry will ever truly subside.)

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ this is The Lord’s declaration. ‘Plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’”

— Jeremiah 29:10

Even as Christians, we are going to struggle. We live in a broken world, so naturally we still face worry and anxiety. Yet with Christ, we can trust He has us in His hands. He has a plan. He gives us a future, even when our future here on earth looks bleak. Life is more than what we can currently see.

We’ll face stress, no doubt. But Jesus is the difference-maker. He allows us to cope and defeat these feelings so they don’t knock us out.

When I’m feeling especially anxious, I have to remind myself to talk to God.

I say something like this:

“Father, I thank you so much for your truth that helps me stay grounded when I’m struggling. Your Word is so clear that we are not to be anxious about anything. We are to run to you! I am so grateful you are a God who cares deeply and intimately about all the details of our lives.

I confess I get anxious. I worry. I fear. That fear is not of you. That’s my own distrust of you and selfish focus on my own ways. Right now I’m anxious about these things...”

Then I write down every little thing that’s on my mind and has my stomach in knots. Truly everything: My to-do list. My job responsibilities. My bills. My savings account. My health. My living situation. My relationship status. My family. My friends. My pesky rosacea. (Yes, you can add skin conditions to your list, too.)

The things that worry you might be similar to what worry me, or they might be completely different. All that matters is that you examine that list and realize how small each of these things is in light of God. In light of eternity. In light of our great commission. That list seems big and long and stressful. But guess what?

God knows the answers to all of these things we worry about.

He is paving the way.

Pray that God would give you a spirit of trust not of fear. Pray for patience and a full reliance on Him. Pray for a heart that’s more like His.

This is a process and a practice. I have to continue confessing and taking my worries, however big or small, to the King. I have to ask that He keep my eyes fixed on Him. I look at my list and find comfort in the fact that God has a plan for all of it.

These stressors force me to turn to Him. He’s the perfect One, not me. Stress and anxiety keep me reliant on Him rather than myself. They remind me I cannot do it all, and I cannot live this life alone. 

The more I focus on Him, the better I sleep, the less intimidating my list looks, and the more content I feel. Think about Jesus, all He's done for you, and the life He guarantees you when you run to Him. Do that, and I know your worries will subside. 

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

The Best Books and Studies For Whatever You're Going Through

I'm always on the hunt for new books and enjoy settling in for a good read. The titles below are ones that have helped me through many different seasons of life. I hope they are as encouraging and challenging for you as they have been for me. 

Any books you've read recently that I should add to my list? Let me know in the comments below!

Deepen Your Relationship

The Meaning of Marriage

I recommend this book to everyone I know, whether single, dating, engaged, or married. My boyfriend and I read through it together when we first starting dating, and it's a game-changer. You can also purchase the corresponding study guide. 

Mingling of Souls

Matt Chandler's marriage book focuses on Song of Songs, an Old Testament book often referred to for its teachings on sex. You'll learn about God's design for sex, dating, marriage, and much more in an easy-to-read (yet thought-provoking) format. 

Move Forward After a Broken Heart

It's Not You, It's God 

Technically not a book or a study, but this article from Desiring God really helped me experience healing a few years ago and recognize that a true sense of closure comes from the Lord alone.

Passion and Purity 

Elisabeth Elliot's life story is a remarkable one. Definitely look it up if you're not familiar. She's written countless books, and this one is specifically for singles (both men and women) on surrendering your relationships to Christ's control. 

Heal from Destructive Behaviors

How People Change

I went through a chunk of this workbook during my time in counseling in New York City. If you're looking for Biblical-based help to turn from sin and start anew, this is it.

Grow in Community

Life Together

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote this book based on his time in an underground seminary during the Nazi occupation of Germany. Life Together instilled in me the importance of Christian fellowship and the reminder we cannot do this life alone. 

Make Disciples

Growing Up

Become a disciple who makes disciples. Pastor Robby Gallaty (my pastor) wrote this practical guide to growing in your faith and starting a discipleship group for the very first time. It includes a Bible reading plan, accountability questions, how to share your faith, and more. You'll find even more resources and tools online here. 

Live in Freedom

Wild and Free

I read and helped lead a women's study on this book last summer. The book helped each of us experience encouragement and hope and step into the women that God created us to be. Click here to download the leader's guide. 

Strengthen Your Prayer Life

Prayer

Another favorite from Tim Keller, this one helped me structure my prayers and make them more meaningful. It's a book you'll want to read with complete focus and attention. 

A Praying Life

I haven't read this book yet, but I've heard it's an incredible way to help you connect with God and experience great joy in prayer.

Act Courageously

Anything

Jennie Allen is the real deal. If you want to live out your faith and step boldly into what God might be calling you to, then this is the book for you. Be sure to take advantage of the study guide at the back, too. 

Practice Evangelism

Turning Everyday Conversations into Gospel Conversations

We're reading through this book at work and each week, practicing what it looks like to share the Gospel. The "three-circles method" explained here can help you transition your daily conversations into more meaningful discussions about Christ.  

Understand How Faith and Work Intersect

Every Good Endeavor

How does my career fit into God's design for my life? What's the point of work? How do I serve God if I'm not called into full-time ministry? Pick up this book to get answers to these questions and more.

Recognize God's Love for You

Crazy Love

God loves you relentlessly, and He wants a relationship with you. If you're continually striving for things and nothing ever seems to satisfies, maybe it's time to fall in love with the Lord. 

Study the Bible More Effectively

Women of the Word

The book's subtitle is "How to Study the Bible with Both Our Hearts and Our Minds," and I can't describe it any better than that. Jen Wilkin is a powerhouse Bible study leader; I recommend this book to men and women alike.

A Few More Recommendations

The Broken Way (This one's been on my list for a while! Ann Voskamp is amazing.)

Disciplines of a Godly Man (Obviously have not read this one myself.)

Gospel in Life studies

How to Read the Bible for All It's Worth

Seamless (I heard Angie Smith speak at a women's conference this year. She became a Christian later in life, and I love her honesty, humor, and the way she always points back to the Word.)

What Is the Gospel?

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.