Bought With a Price

Last fall, I bought a pair of Madewell jeans, easily the most expensive jeans I’ve ever purchased. They were perfect. High-rise, skinny legs, dark wash, contrast stitching, and a slight crop at the ankle. They had these “magic pockets” that made everything look smooth and sleek, not to mention some extra stretch in the cotton so I could move without feeling restricted. “Legs-for-days” was how they were advertised.

I discovered them at the back of the store on the sale rack; even still, I had to decide whether I could swing this purchase. I think my internal monologue went something like:

Hmm, they were originally $128. Now they’re marked down 20 percent. They are so comfortable. They look great on me. I’ll wear them all the time, so my cost per use is going to be low. Yes, they’re totally worth it. Okay, I’m doing it!

I handed over my card to the saleswoman, and within seconds I walked away with my first pair of designer denim.

I bought them for a price. I knew I wouldn’t be able to buy other clothes that month or even the next month. This was splurge purchase for me, and I had to make them worth it.

For 12 solid months, those jeans were totally worth it. But now, they no longer fit. It’s time time to remove them from my wardrobe and pass them on.

Maybe you could care less about jeans. Maybe you think I’m crazy for spending that much money on fashion. (And maybe I am.) But more than likely, you have saved for something at some point in your life.  You’ve made a big purchase. A new iPhone. A car. Sports equipment for your kiddos.

Or maybe you’re trying to simply make it through the week, stretching every dime to keep a roof over your head, pay those bills, and put dinner on the table each night.

All these things have a cost. We buy them for a price, and we have to weigh the cost-benefit to us. What will I have to give up to purchase this? Is the price worth it?

My boyfriend shared 1 Corinthians 6 with me recently, and it really hit home as I took that pair of jeans out of my closet. 

“‘All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything. ‘Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food’—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, ‘The two will become one flesh.’ But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.  Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

— 1 Corinthians 6:12-20

I bought those jeans for a price. That was nothing compared to what Christ did.

Jesus, himself, bought us for a price.

When we’ve repented, when we’ve recognized Him as Lord and given our lives to Him, he brings us into the fold. He doesn’t question whether we are worth it, whether we’re the right fit, whether he can find something better. He loves us, and He accepts us into His kingdom.

And when we keep sinning—and keep crying out to Him as our Savior and the only answer to our brokenness—He forgives us. His Spirit is still within us. In all our mess, our sin, and our mistakes, he doesn’t dispose of us. We are worth it. We are priceless to Him.

I’m reading through parts of the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) right now, learning about Jesus’s life on this earth, as fully man and fully God. Everywhere He went, He went in peace. He spoke the truth, and He shared the light of the Father with people. He was completely devoted to the Father and fulfilling the mission God had for Him. He was perfect.

He loved us so much that He died for us, as sinners and broken people. Our sins are what nailed Him to the cross, yet He still took on the most horrible death imaginable in order to give us a way out. He gives us hope and an opportunity for life eternal through faith in Him.

Christ bought us with a price—and we are not our own.

Our bodies, our possessions, our whole lives belong to God. Thinking about what He went through in order to give us life and to entrust us with the Holy Spirit really puts things in perspective. He will never dispose of us or outgrow us like a pair of jeans. He’s not looking for the next best thing. He’s with us for the long haul.

Is He as priceless to us as that thing we saved our money for? Is He as priceless to us as we are to Him? The big question for me is whether I live like I’ve been rescued from death, purchased by the blood of Christ, and extended mercy, grace, and life eternal.

Knowing and fully understanding the fact that I am not my own helps me cast off the weight of sin. It helps us order our lives with God in His rightful place, most high.

My body is God’s; that includes the physical, emotional, and mental. When I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, the Holy Spirit began to dwell within me. Remembering that empowers me against temptation. God is right there within us, so it’s no wonder Satan so often tries to attack the body. Think about it: drunkenness, pornography, sexual immorality, and disordered eating and exercise seem so common. They’re sins against our own bodies and against Christ within us. And Satan is too sneaky to let the emotional and mental sins gets past him. Hate, lust, anger, jealousy, and greed are just as much of an assault on the body.

Yet we are no longer slaves to sin.

“For he who is called by the Lord as a slave is the Lord’s freedman. Likewise he who is called as a free man is Christ’s slave. You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of people. Brothers and sisters, each person is to remain with God in the situation in which he was called.”

— 1 Corinthians 7:22-24

Our bodies are now members of Christ because we were bought at a price. This amazes me. Jesus paid the ultimate price for me, and He paid the ultimate price for you, my friend. That price is way more than a pair of trendy jeans that I may grow out of get tired of after a year or two.

I pray I live my life in a way that’s reflective of my being bought by the King of Kings.

We were created to live each day for Him and to glorify God with our bodies. He has us in this very moment and at this very place with great purpose. Jesus paid the price that you couldn’t in order to give you new life in Him.

What will you do with it?

---

If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

How to Talk to a Friend in the Midst of Disordered Eating or an Eating Disorder

A version of this post originally appeared on verilymag.com.

September is National Recovery Month, and it's given me pause to reflect on my own recovery. Praise God for the way His hand was on me and for calling me into a relationship with Him. The more open and honest I’ve been in my journey, the more freedom I’ve experienced. Satan doesn't have a hold over my past anymore, and Christ has given me a unique way to talk about Him. He's brought great healing and recovery into my life. 

As I’ve gotten healthier, I’ve noticed that our country is obsessed with what we eat and how we look. Think of how many times you’ve seen a blog post about eating clean. How many times you’ve seen the hashtags #fitspo and #goals on Facebook and Instagram. How many times you’ve seen a headline about some celebrity’s pregnancy weight. We are bombarded with this information from multiple platforms on a daily basis, and the prevalence of eating disorders has continued to rise.

Many of you have asked me what you should say to someone with an eating disorder, and rightfully so. Learning how to speak around a friend who you know struggles or has struggled with an eating disorder, disordered eating, or poor body image is a process. Every person is different; their stories are unique. What I write below has been helpful and encouraging to me in my recovery, but please remember that your friend’s individual needs may differ.

Talking to a friend whom you suspect has an eating disorder—but has not admitted that to you—is incredibly difficult. Regardless of what she—or he, as one in four individuals with eating disorders is male—is experiencing, approach them with love and care. If your friend is struggling, and you want to talk to her, I would suggest keeping a few things in mind; these guidelines apply for any kind of recovery:

Be intentional. 

Set aside time for a private, distraction-free discussion. Frame the conversation by stating that you are concerned and are bringing this up to your friend because you truly care. Assure them that you love them no matter what.

Ask questions. 

Start by asking if they are struggling rather than placing blame or judgment. They will feel better knowing that you gave them a chance to speak and didn’t automatically assume there's a problem.

Be specific.

It is best to share specific examples of why you are concerned, according to the National Eating Disorders Association. Gently let them know of behaviors you’ve witnessed that raise a red flag. Start your sentences with “I” rather than “you.” For example, “I’m concerned about you because [fill-in-the-blank]."

Pray. 

Talk to God before talking to your friend. Ask Him for guidance and to speak through you. When you do speak to your friend, whether they are a Christian or not, ask if you can pray over them. You'll be surprised how many people will accept prayer when they're hurting. It's the most powerful tool we have. 

Addictions and dysfunctional behaviors are about so much more than what they manifest as on the surface. An eating disorder, at the core, isn't about food. Saying that your friend should simply eat more, quit binging and purging, or stop overexercising is oversimplifying recovery and will make her feel more isolated. The root of an eating disorder varies but often stems from obsessive desires for control, approval, and perfectionism. Keep that in mind when talking to your friend.

If your friend has already told you that they have an eating disorder or addiction (a huge step in any recovery), you will be able to have conversations that look a bit different than those with a friend whose is still secretly struggling. Here are a few of the things that have been helpful to me in my own recovery:

“I love you, and I don’t think of you any differently. Do you know that God also loves you?”

This is perhaps the most important statement you can make. Assure them they are worthy and loved, and nothing they say or does will change that. God loves the least among us—the sinners, the broken, the hurting, the messes. He didn't come to save perfect people but the broken ones, like you and me. 

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

— John 3:16

“How are you doing?”

Give your friend a call to catch up. Ask how they have been doing not just with food but with all aspects of life. Our friends need commitment and consistency to keep a friendship alive.

“We all have our struggles. In fact, I struggle with X.”

We all struggle. Even if you don’t wrestle with a full-blown addiction or disorder, you currently face or have faced some sort of struggle of your own. Opening up to your friend fosters trust, reminds her no one is perfect, and will help her be fully honest with you in her recovery.

“You are more than your weight/fitness routine/the food on your plate.”

Talk about her character, not her physical appearance. We so often resort to looks—from body shape to hairstyles to clothing—when starting a conversation with someone. Compliment your friend on her intelligence, her kindness, and her courage. She is already hyper-focused on her body, so even if you think telling her “You look healthy!” or “You are beautiful!” is helpful, keep the focus on her internal values instead. Remind her how brave she is for choosing recovery and healing.

We know as believers that our identity is in Christ alone. Reassure your friend of this. Being a Christian doesn't mean you'll no longer struggle, but it does mean you're no longer a slave to sin. We were created in His image, bought at a price. He is making us new.

“We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.”

— Romans 6:6

“Would you like to come over for dinner on Friday?”

Friends who cook for me and invite me to dinner are such a gift. Someone who is in recovery will need lots of support around her, particularly during mealtime. Satan works in isolation; Don't give him that chance.

"How can I best be a friend to you during this time?”

This gives her the opportunity to tell you how you can best serve her. If your friend is in recovery, they can tell you what they need from you, and they will so appreciate that you asked.

Please know, if your friend is harming herself, it is absolutely appropriate to suggest they seek professional help. ANAD offers a free guide on how to talk to someone and intervene if necessary. Psychology Today is also an excellent resource for finding specialized therapists, psychiatrists, support groups, and treatment centers in your area. You can tell her you read this blog and want to help however you can. Every day counts in recovery—the sooner one can address the problem, the greater the likelihood of full recovery.

If your friend rejects help, then I would continue to let them that you’re there for them. Ultimately, they have to be ready to recover on their own. 

Most importantly, keep praying for them. Pray for God to move and for them to be ready to surrender to Him fully. True recovery is possible through Christ, so don't lose hope.

---

If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

For When You're Feeling Anxious

I’ve been a worrier for as long as I can recall. Back in middle school, I sometimes would have a difficult time falling asleep because I was too worried about the next day’s test or presentation. I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it. There was one time a few classmates and I supposed to go on a special field trip downtown; I was so nervous to go that I literally made myself feel sick the day of the trip. High school brought a whole new set of worries, with sports and college and boys. I was even worried I’d be bad at the whole dating thing, and I stopped dating a nice boy because of it. (Don't worry—it worked out for the best.)

“I sought the Lord, and He answered me. He delivered me from all my fears.”

— Psalm 34:4

Worry and anxiety have been a big part of my story and how Christ drew me to Himself. 

I’ve had to learn how to manage my stress levels. Living in New York City for four years presented its own set of challenges, and while I live in a more peaceful environment now, I know anxiety may be something I’m always prone to if I’m not mindful of it.

We all face anxiety. Many of us are often managing worry and fear on a daily basis. The reality of stress is hard to escape. We talk so much about taking care of our health by eating well and exercising, yet we practically glorify stress. Being busy is a badge of honor. And honestly, the whole “hustle” mentality sounds great until your body breaks down.

I heard once that worry is an insult to God. It’s so true. Worry, at its core, reflects a sense of pride. Worry says, “I’m worried because I’m in control and I know what’s best.”

The only way to stop worry in its tracks is to recognize we are not in control. 

We can’t figure it all out.

And we don’t have to.

If you are a Believer—if you’ve repented and called Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior—then you have a hope greater than this world. 

(If you’re not sure where you’re at with Jesus, would you take a minute to read this? He wants a relationship with you, and that’s the only way your worry will ever truly subside.)

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ this is The Lord’s declaration. ‘Plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’”

— Jeremiah 29:10

Even as Christians, we are going to struggle. We live in a broken world, so naturally we still face worry and anxiety. Yet with Christ, we can trust He has us in His hands. He has a plan. He gives us a future, even when our future here on earth looks bleak. Life is more than what we can currently see.

We’ll face stress, no doubt. But Jesus is the difference-maker. He allows us to cope and defeat these feelings so they don’t knock us out.

When I’m feeling especially anxious, I have to remind myself to talk to God.

I say something like this:

“Father, I thank you so much for your truth that helps me stay grounded when I’m struggling. Your Word is so clear that we are not to be anxious about anything. We are to run to you! I am so grateful you are a God who cares deeply and intimately about all the details of our lives.

I confess I get anxious. I worry. I fear. That fear is not of you. That’s my own distrust of you and selfish focus on my own ways. Right now I’m anxious about these things...”

Then I write down every little thing that’s on my mind and has my stomach in knots. Truly everything: My to-do list. My job responsibilities. My bills. My savings account. My health. My living situation. My relationship status. My family. My friends. My pesky rosacea. (Yes, you can add skin conditions to your list, too.)

The things that worry you might be similar to what worry me, or they might be completely different. All that matters is that you examine that list and realize how small each of these things is in light of God. In light of eternity. In light of our great commission. That list seems big and long and stressful. But guess what?

God knows the answers to all of these things we worry about.

He is paving the way.

Pray that God would give you a spirit of trust not of fear. Pray for patience and a full reliance on Him. Pray for a heart that’s more like His.

This is a process and a practice. I have to continue confessing and taking my worries, however big or small, to the King. I have to ask that He keep my eyes fixed on Him. I look at my list and find comfort in the fact that God has a plan for all of it.

These stressors force me to turn to Him. He’s the perfect One, not me. Stress and anxiety keep me reliant on Him rather than myself. They remind me I cannot do it all, and I cannot live this life alone. 

The more I focus on Him, the better I sleep, the less intimidating my list looks, and the more content I feel. Think about Jesus, all He's done for you, and the life He guarantees you when you run to Him. Do that, and I know your worries will subside. 

---

If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

The Best Books and Studies For Whatever You're Going Through

I'm always on the hunt for new books and enjoy settling in for a good read. The titles below are ones that have helped me through many different seasons of life. I hope they are as encouraging and challenging for you as they have been for me. 

Any books you've read recently that I should add to my list? Let me know in the comments below!

Deepen Your Relationship

The Meaning of Marriage

I recommend this book to everyone I know, whether single, dating, engaged, or married. My boyfriend and I read through it together when we first starting dating, and it's a game-changer. You can also purchase the corresponding study guide. 

Mingling of Souls

Matt Chandler's marriage book focuses on Song of Songs, an Old Testament book often referred to for its teachings on sex. You'll learn about God's design for sex, dating, marriage, and much more in an easy-to-read (yet thought-provoking) format. 

Move Forward After a Broken Heart

It's Not You, It's God 

Technically not a book or a study, but this article from Desiring God really helped me experience healing a few years ago and recognize that a true sense of closure comes from the Lord alone.

Passion and Purity 

Elisabeth Elliot's life story is a remarkable one. Definitely look it up if you're not familiar. She's written countless books, and this one is specifically for singles (both men and women) on surrendering your relationships to Christ's control. 

Heal from Destructive Behaviors

How People Change

I went through a chunk of this workbook during my time in counseling in New York City. If you're looking for Biblical-based help to turn from sin and start anew, this is it.

Grow in Community

Life Together

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote this book based on his time in an underground seminary during the Nazi occupation of Germany. Life Together instilled in me the importance of Christian fellowship and the reminder we cannot do this life alone. 

Make Disciples

Growing Up

Become a disciple who makes disciples. Pastor Robby Gallaty (my pastor) wrote this practical guide to growing in your faith and starting a discipleship group for the very first time. It includes a Bible reading plan, accountability questions, how to share your faith, and more. You'll find even more resources and tools online here. 

Live in Freedom

Wild and Free

I read and helped lead a women's study on this book last summer. The book helped each of us experience encouragement and hope and step into the women that God created us to be. Click here to download the leader's guide. 

Strengthen Your Prayer Life

Prayer

Another favorite from Tim Keller, this one helped me structure my prayers and make them more meaningful. It's a book you'll want to read with complete focus and attention. 

A Praying Life

I haven't read this book yet, but I've heard it's an incredible way to help you connect with God and experience great joy in prayer.

Act Courageously

Anything

Jennie Allen is the real deal. If you want to live out your faith and step boldly into what God might be calling you to, then this is the book for you. Be sure to take advantage of the study guide at the back, too. 

Practice Evangelism

Turning Everyday Conversations into Gospel Conversations

We're reading through this book at work and each week, practicing what it looks like to share the Gospel. The "three-circles method" explained here can help you transition your daily conversations into more meaningful discussions about Christ.  

Understand How Faith and Work Intersect

Every Good Endeavor

How does my career fit into God's design for my life? What's the point of work? How do I serve God if I'm not called into full-time ministry? Pick up this book to get answers to these questions and more.

Recognize God's Love for You

Crazy Love

God loves you relentlessly, and He wants a relationship with you. If you're continually striving for things and nothing ever seems to satisfies, maybe it's time to fall in love with the Lord. 

Study the Bible More Effectively

Women of the Word

The book's subtitle is "How to Study the Bible with Both Our Hearts and Our Minds," and I can't describe it any better than that. Jen Wilkin is a powerhouse Bible study leader; I recommend this book to men and women alike.

A Few More Recommendations

The Broken Way (This one's been on my list for a while! Ann Voskamp is amazing.)

Disciplines of a Godly Man (Obviously have not read this one myself.)

Gospel in Life studies

How to Read the Bible for All It's Worth

Seamless (I heard Angie Smith speak at a women's conference this year. She became a Christian later in life, and I love her honesty, humor, and the way she always points back to the Word.)

What Is the Gospel?

---

If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.