7 Ways to Stay Connected Right Now

If you’re like me, you’re probably craving connection right now. Pandemic life is strange, but this looks like it’s going to be our new normal (at least for a while). So how do you stay in touch with friends, meet new people, and get out safely? Here are seven easy ideas. And I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to and how you’re staying connected! Leave me a comment below.

1. Check out your local church.

Our church reopened a few months ago, and we’ve been so thankful. Worship services are definitely different than they used to be, especially without a children’s ministry. But there’s simply no replacement for being around other believers on a Sunday morning. If you haven’t yet found a church in your neighborhood, I’d recommend checking out churches near you in the Acts29 Network, SBC, and Redeemer Church’s City to City Network. Most of these churches stream services live on Sundays and record sermon podcasts each week.

Your church might even be offering home Bible studies where you can safely meet with others in person. Many churches also have life groups or community groups, as well as various support groups. And don’t forget about Biblical counseling—a great way to connect when you’re feeling anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, or just need a bit of extra support. 

2. Register for MOPS or BSF.

These organizations were integral in helping me maintain a sense of normalcy last year as a new mom. MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) both have groups throughout the country. Depending on where you live, you might even be able to meet in person.

3. Go outside.

Fall is upon us, and there’s no better time to get outside. We’ve loved playing tennis, taking walks, and going to the playground. My sister actually started a tennis “club” with three of her girlfriends—a free, safe, and easy way to stay connected. (Plus, who doesn’t love the endorphins from exercise?) Ask a friend to join you outdoors or look into local sports leagues to hone your competitive side.

4. Join the gym.

If using an elliptical while wearing a mask sounds like your worst nightmare, take heart! Many group fitness classes are moving outdoors this fall. Our local recreation center has dance, yoga, HIIT, and other classes in various parks. See what your gym has to offer. This is a great way to stay active and meet new people.

5. Sign up for LO Sister.

Is there anything Sadie Robertson can’t do? Girlfriend shares the word of God in a way that’s full of passion and fire. I love it. She also has a heart for connecting women with other women, which led her to create the Live Original Sister online community. It’s for women of all ages and walks of life, with a focus on sisterhood, relationships, and mentorship. Check it out here.

6. Make a VidHug.

My cousin introduced me to VidHug—the 21st century, COVID-era way to give a hug. To start a VidHug, you can send a link to family and friends, asking them to record a short video with their message for the receipt. Happy birthday, happy anniversary, congratulations, you name it. Once they submit their videos, VidHug turns them into a beautiful montage for you to share. It’s easy and fun, especially if your friends are long-distance. We’re hoping to make one of these for my grandma when she turns 95 next month.

7. Call a friend and send snail mail.

Last but not least, call a friend or mail a letter! Two of the oldest ways to connect with people are still the best. Hearing a friend’s voice is always better than texting. And you’ll make someone’s day by sending a card or letter. If you want to design your own cards, you can usually find cardstock and colored pencils at Target or Walmart for less than $5. Dollar Tree and Trader Joe’s also have adorable options that are always $1.

Have fun staying connected!

6 Ways to Make Friends in a New City

We moved to Denver at the end of 2019, leaving behind three years of building up our community in Nashville. Colorado is a completely new environment for us, and we’re in the process of making it our home. We are creating new rhythms for our family and so thankful for this fresh start here. I don’t think I’ll ever tire of waking up to see the mountains each day!

Part of making this our home means making friends. But, how on earth do you do that as a stay-at-home mom? Or in my husband’s case, when you work a busy full-time job? 

I’m no longer sharing a commute with my roommate or chatting with my co-workers at lunch. In fact, my bestie happens to be about 10 months old and likes to nap twice a day. He’s a whole lot of fun, although it is a little hard when he can’t talk back to me (😉). 

Jesus, God himself, had friends—12 disciples in his core group. But three of those men, Peter, James, and John, were his best friends. They were present for moments that the other disciples were not, and they knew Jesus intimately. God demonstrates for us the importance of friendship and reminds us to “stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25) 

A word of hope if you feel lonely right now: God wants to be your friend.

It might sound cliche, but it’s true. You’ll always have a friend in Jesus. In fact, He said it himself:

“This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants anymore, because a servant doesn’t know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my father. You did not choose me, but I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce fruit and that you fruit should remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he will give you. This is what I command you: Love one another.” (John 15:12-17)

I find that so encouraging. We’re never alone when we have Christ.

Maybe you’re in a new place or a new season of life like me. So let’s get out there together! Here are six ways to make new friends:

1. Check out the local library.

Okay, the library has been my jam. If you’re a mom or dad, you’ve got to get in on the free weekday story time. My son adores the stories, music, and time with other littles. I’m loving the selection of books, audiobooks, and magazines, as well as the discounts on local museums, zoos, restaurants, and businesses. Our library facilitates a number of book clubs for various interests that I’d love to join once Charlie is a little older. Oh, and did I mention it’s all free? 

2. Get involved at your church.

We recently found our church home and are excited about all the opportunities to form community. I’ve been attending a weekly Bible study while my son hangs out in the nursery. There are a lot of other groups at all times of the day and for all life stages, such as Celebrate Recovery, Financial Peace University, and even a Bible journaling class. Being involved in the local church is such a core part of our lives as Christ followers, and how awesome we get to make friends that way, too.

3. Sign up for the YMCA.

You can sign up for any gym, but I really like the YMCA for its plethora of programs and Christ-fueled mission. A family membership is super reasonable and includes the gym, workout classes, a pool, and more, depending on your location. They also offer childcare, which is great if you’re a mom of young children. I’m looking forward to taking some yoga and barre classes and enrolling our son in swim lessons this summer. 

4. Take a class or join a group.

Consider taking a class for something you’ve always wanted to learn. Piano? Cooking? Knitting? There’s a class for that. I’ve had my eye on a pasta-making class at Whole Foods for a while now, and what better friends are out there than fellow Italian food lovers? Eventbrite has no shortage of local events and groups, and I’ve also heard good things about Meetup.com.   

5. Volunteer.

Volunteering is good for you and good for others. Your church is likely connected to various ministries that can use your help. You can also reach out to your local food bank, pregnancy care center, or parks department for more opportunities. Meet others, and live out God’s command to love your neighbor. It’s been a long time since I’ve volunteered, but I’m ready to use my time and giftings to give back.

6. Hang out at the park.

If you have little ones, take them to the park. They’ll get some fresh air and physical activity, while you can chat with other parents. This one may take some stepping outside of your comfort zone. But I’d be willing to bet the other moms or dads are looking for friends just like you. 

How do you make new friends? I’d love to hear your ideas in the comments below.

Our Love Story

Charles, my fiance, is the love of my life. He is God’s greatest gift to me, and we cannot wait to get married this June. Our story is a direct testament to the grace of Jesus Christ. He is the sole reason we met, dated, and will soon come together as husband and wife.

Charles and I met on October 31, 2015, at a wedding in Waitsfield, Vermont. I was there to watch my roommate, Ashley, get married—my roommate who just happened to be Charles’ sister. Ashley and her husband, Dave, and I had become friends that year. She told me about her cute brother, Charles, but I didn’t think much of it. Charles knew about me, too, but neither of us knew what the Lord had in store.

We met on the dance floor somewhere between Randy Travis and Justin Bieber. And the rest is history.

Just kidding.

The truth is that while we did dance the night away, we didn’t think a relationship was going to come out of that night. Charles went back to the South; I went back to New York City. We talked and texted over the course of the next few months, and Charles came to visit Ashley and Dave—and me—in New York City that January of 2016. We went on our first date (the best first date of my life!) and had such a fun weekend just the two of us and double-dating. I loved showing him around my home.

Yet when we said goodbye, I pretty much assumed that was going to be the end of anything between us. Yes, we had fun. Yes, we had chemistry. Yes, he was interested. But I didn’t really know this guy. He didn’t live in the same city as me. And I was closed off to the idea of someone new.

I had been in previous relationships, and the summer before meeting Charles was the first time I felt okay in my singleness. I really wasn't expecting to meet someone or get married until my 30s. I truly wanted to be able to get to know myself better as a single woman, and I wanted to grow in my faith on my own. I was at peace. I had told myself I wouldn’t step into another relationship unless I knew where the guy’s head was at. Only if I knew that he had the same desire for marriage as I did and that he was just as strong in his belief in Christ as I was. Only then would I consider a relationship.

There’s no way that could be Charles, I told myself.

He lives in Savannah, Georgia, and I’m in New York City.

He’s younger than me.

He’s not going to want a real relationship or to pursue marriage.

What’s the point?

I was discounting Charles before I ever gave us a chance.

So when he called me up and asked me to come visit him in Savannah, I told him I’d have to think about it. Then I did what I do best: I wrote to him. I wrote him a 1,043-word email. Yes, really.

I explained how my past relationships crumbled. That I was thankful to God that He ended them but also much more cautious now to start anything new. I explained how God had been working in my heart and called me into a deep, personal relationship with Him. I told Charles that I knew what I desired in a relationship and how I wanted one leading to marriage.

And then I included a bulleted list of my reservations as to why a relationship between us wouldn’t work.

Yikes.

Before ending my email, I wrote:

What I do know, Charles, is you are the kind of man I have prayed for for so long. You love the Lord. You are kind and caring. You are respectful. Your family is more important to you than your work, although you work hard, too. You make me laugh! On top of all that, you’re super cute.

I sent that and waited for his reply. Waited to see if he still wanted me to visit, fully anticipating him to think I was way too much to handle.

Five days later, Charles' reply was in my inbox. I remember it so clearly because I read that email on my phone and, in the midst of a busy NYC subway, I started crying. He addressed all my concerns and then wrote words I'll never forget:

God has brought us together for a reason and I think it's too soon to end things. You are a beautiful, brave, kind, Christian woman. Your heart is for the Lord. You have all the traits I desire in a wife. I already thank God for putting you in my life, even if I am unable to see you ever again. You are a soldier for the Lord. I love and admire how you are able to use writing to bring glory to God and reveal Him to others. Your blog takes so much courage and I know it does great good. So keep it up!

Charles’ words brought me to tears, and I knew then that this could be something special. I went to visit him in Savannah a few weeks later. We shared our testimonies with one another, and we talked about how the Lord had led us both out of darkness and into the light. We shared our hopes and dreams, and for the first time, we started falling in love.

As we parted ways at the Savannah/Hilton Head International Airport, we decided to make things official as boyfriend and girlfriend. It felt like something out of a movie.

Much of our relationship really has been like something out of a movie. Charles loves me in a way I didn’t know was possible. He loves me deeply, gently, and selflessly.

The only way he’s able to love me like this is because he loves Jesus Christ first and foremost.

I have to be honest with you, though: not all of our relationship is like a movie. My Instagram feed reads like a highlight reel, and while, we love each other so much, we argue and bicker like any other couple. We get annoyed with each other. We struggle with the typical male/female tension points. He’s overly practical, too direct, too detached. I’m overthinking, too emotional, too sensitive.

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

— Genesis 1:27

But how sweet is God to redeem those characteristics and set up the covenant of marriage between the (very different) male and female to complement one another. God created us to reflect His own image, and marriage is one of the many things He uses to further show us His glory and make us more like Him.

Whatever relationship stage you are in, God can use that to refine you. He will mold you, shape you, and draw you closer to Himself if you let Him in. God did that mightily in my dating experiences, my breakups, and my singleness. I didn’t realize at the time how much he was using those situations and seasons to transform me. I started this blog as a single woman, after a breakup that gave me the motivation I needed to put my words on the Internet. And this blog is one of the biggest reasons Charles continued to pursue me long-distance even when I wrote him a laundry list email of all my hesitations about why he wouldn’t measure up.

Before we ever met, he and I had to learn individually that we are only saved by grace through faith alone, not by our works or good deeds. We had to realize the depth of our own brokenness, our own sins, and how much we desperately need a savior in Jesus Christ. We had to individually come to the recognition that nothing in this world will ever truly fulfill—including marriage—but that a relationship with Christ brings us hope. And we had to see the value in dating God’s way. Friends and family had been praying for us before we even knew each other existed.

God was preparing my heart for Charles—and preparing his heart simultaneously.

So even when we butt heads, we have never stop being on the same team. I never for one second doubt that he is praying for me, praying to be the leader God has called him to be, and loving me with his whole heart—while putting God above me.

We have dated across five different states in two years, with nine months of both living in Nashville. Throughout those 730 days, we knew we could count on the other. We knew we were in this thing together. We knew we wanted to point the other person to Christ.

Charles encourages me and my giftings. He has helped me step into my true identity while healing from my eating disorder. And I do my best to speak life into him, respecting him and building him up. I remind him of the man God has called him to be.

When Charles asked me on December 21 to be his wife, the answer was a no-brainer. (For all of you wondering, yes, I did say “yes!”) We are so excited to spend the rest of our lives together. It’s not going to be perfect or without its trials, but it is going to be the absolute sweetest gift. We know God has been writing this story for a long time. Thanks for joining with us on the journey!

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.

How God Opened My Eyes to Dating His Way

I really didn’t date until after college. The little bit of dating I did during college consisted of meeting men at bars and seeing them once, or maybe inviting a guy from my writing class as my date to a sorority party. Dating wasn’t a priority for me, and honestly, I was fearful to date given my lack of experience.

Post-college, I was suddenly much more interested in the dating scene. I said NBD to any fear around dating and my lack of experience. I began to flirt, I began to date, and date quite a bit. Truth be told, I liked it. I liked the attention from men. I liked living the way I saw in magazines and on TV. I bought into the idea that “the one” would complete me, and I spent a lot of time and energy trying to ready myself for the perfect man.

When I did find myself in my first committed relationship in 2013, I let the world dictate that, too. I made the relationship my everything. I made him my everything. As you can imagine, that relationship grew sour. The sweet exterior faded until a painful, toxic root remained. Friends pointed this out to me on more than one occasion, and as the breakup hit, it became so clear to me that they were right. The relationship was past the point of healthy. Being in a relationship simply for the sake of having someone isn’t worth the cost. We broke up, and God protected me greatly in that.

Throughout 2013 and 2014, God was working, refining, pruning, and pulling me closer to Him.

My eyes were opened like never before. I saw where I had veered (way) off course, and I started to see the beauty of God’s way. He had a better way for my relationships all along; I had simply been too blind to see it.

I announced my faith publicly through baptism in early 2015. Things in my life began to click. It was as though a weight was lifted off. I knew from that point on that my relationship with men would be different. My approach to dating forever changed. My understanding of marriage and “the one” was turned right side up.

“So God created man in His image. In the image of God, He created them. Male and female, He created them. God blessed them, and God said to them, ‘Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it.’”

— Genesis 1:27-28a

God created man and woman in His image, to be fruitful and multiply. God set this way from the beginning of time!

For most of my life, I didn’t get that. I didn’t understand His beautiful design. I did what I wanted. It took years of struggling, of loneliness, and of heartbreak to realize there is a better way for relationships and dating. As I read more and more about God’s way, the scales began to fall off.

The book of Ephesians rocked my world. Relationships are not about ourselves. Marriage is not about me finding ultimate happiness and fulfillment. It’s not about my Prince Charming saving the day. It’s about sacrifice. Marriage is holy. Marriage is loving someone in spite of them—and in spite of yourself. Dating is an earlier degree of that.

No small request, right? But that’s love in light of eternity. That’s the glory we can partake in here on earth. That’s the way God will bless.

After my first breakup, I decided to pray for my love life.

I found a specific prayer online that I wrote down in my journal and prayed in earnest for a long time.

I prayed:

That God would give me a relationship (Matthew 7:7)

That He would grant me patience and insight to wait for a good one (Isaiah 40:31)

That He would be working out anything unhealthy in my life (Jeremiah 33:8)

That He would shape my heart for nourishing interactions with others (Colossians 3:12-14)

That He would bring healing into my past so I’m free to embrace the present (Philippians 3:13-14)

That He would protect my emotional world and give me wisdom of how to set healthy boundaries (Proverbs 4:23)

That He would open my eyes to the joys of doing sex His way (Hebrews 13:4)

That God would be the focus of my life now and forever (Psalm 37:4)

I prayed this and even thought I met someone a month or two later who was an answer to that prayer. He was not, and that was okay. Life moved on. I found myself investing more in Christ, in the one who was now my primary love. I learned to enjoy and appreciate my singleness as a gift. I couldn’t be tempted or distracted by others; my focus was finally on Him.

Still, I prayed that prayer, and I prayed the Lord would inject continual peace and contentment into my status as a single woman. I prayed He wouldn’t give me what I wanted but give me His best. (Yes, that same prayer over my career worked pretty well on my love life, too.) I stopped dating for a bit. I stopped planning. I stopped comparing and asking everyone, “How old were you when you got married?” I stopped looking at my ex on social media. I stopped doing things that weren’t what I desired and weren’t what would bring me closer to Christ. I let go and let God.

Yes, I desired a boyfriend during this time. I wanted to know if marriage was in the cards for me. I hoped and longed for someone special, a partner in ministry, a man to love me boldly and like Christ. This is a good desire! I asked God to take the desire away if He wanted me to be single instead and to live missionally, singularly focused on Him, like Paul suggests we all do in 1 Corinthians 7.

“Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.”

— 1 Corinthians 7:28

So that’s what I did: live the life God has called me to.

God wasn’t done with me, or my love life, quite yet. He had a few surprises in store in 2015 and 2016. He opened my eyes to doing a relationship His way, to doing sex His way, to living focused on Him above all else—not as an afterthought. And God brought someone into my life who helped me see the beautiful design He has for our relationships. That design is not impossible or irrelevant but transcends all ages and eras. That design is as real for us today as it was for the early church thousands of years ago.

Dating like I used to date does not even compare to the joy I’ve experienced in dating His way. It’s like I went from having fat-free Splenda-sweetened ice cream to having creamy Italian gelato with hot fudge and a cherry on top. I mean, hello. No comparison.

Dating is a special and unique season, and I’m thankful for how God has used this time to make me more like Him. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. I now actually enjoy looking back on the heartache and pain I once experienced because I can see God’s hand over it all. It’s been a sweet, sweet journey, and I look forward to what’s next. Thank you, Jesus.

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If you want to talk more about Jesus Christ and faith and what-the-heck-is-all-this-stuff, shoot me a message. I love meeting new people, whether virtually or in person, and gabbing about life. 

And if you'd like to know more of my story, you can read my testimony here.

Truly, He makes beautiful things.